I sign on to AOHell.
I message him. And message him. And wait. And wait. Play a game, read some news stories, do some other stuff. And wait...
You know...I'm so glad that I'm in OA, because if I wasn't, I wouldn't be able to see how sick this is. Not sick as in gross, but sick as in just the opposite of healthy. I would not normally spend this much time on line.
Some other tidbits: he's so nice. He offered me the opportunity last night to 'come live with him' in his 'house' in his little game world, The Sims Online. He has the top dance club there.
Wow. That's awesome. God, I'm so excited that I can barely sit still in my chair. Uh-huh.
And looking at my name on the screen makes him smile. And he still remembers my laugh. And is so concerned about Niece. Mhmm...and still knows how to work women.
There's no way in hell I'm signing up for The Sims Online. That is an addiction that has my name, and his, written all over it. Been there, done that. I'm not going to go and get lost in some stupid little fantasy world.
Remember me writing about how Ex and I used to sit and play Final Fantasy X2 in the evenings when I'd come home? How the little cartoon characters on screen were living and doing and learning and we were not? That, peeps, is what Mr. Wrong is inviting me to do. Stop living, learning, doing in real life, and start doing so almost exclusively online.
No thank you.
I had told him I would check the requirements and see if my computer meets them for TSO and then let him know what I found out. Truth be told, the only requirement I don't meet is this one: an unquenchable desire to hide online and stop living. Like I did before. Like he is doing now for some reason. But that reason just isn't important, is it? Nope.
For my side of the street, this is not healthy. I can't go back to living that way. Waiting on his beck and call. God, what misery that was. I think I'll skip it. I won't necessarily cut this connection entirely, but I'm not going to strengthen it. Until God gives me the willingness to sever it, I will just let it be.
And keep living.
3 comments:
Good for you! The problem with the AOL trolls though is that they seldom take no for an answer. If he has any way of finding you whatsoever, he will find you. I still get mail every now and then from someone asking if I am "still out there" and I left AoHell 5, 6 years ago. I stupidly gave out my alternate email address, which I use for work and don't want to change. Be careful!
He'll take no for an answer, if I tell him no. Believe me, if anyone 'needs' anyone, I 'need' him more than he 'needs' me.
Right now I don't have the willingness to tell him to go away. But I also don't have the willingness to spend THAT much time online and be taken for granted and stuff like that, which, to him, is the equivalent of saying no. I actually have a life now and I just can't give it up.
You sell yourself way short. The guys who hang out online are there for a reason.
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