It felt so good last night to go to bed tired and breathing freely. And to sleep soundly. Oh what a wonderful thing that was. :o) I'm so glad I went to the doctor yesterday.
Last night I had a horrible dream. I dreamt that I took Ex back!!!
In the dream, somehow, I had agreed to take Ex back.
"Oh I knew you'd take me back again eventually. That's how you work. You stay away for a while but then you call me for some reason, we become 'friends', and then soon we're back together again."
And in the dream, I'm sitting there thinking, What the hell am I doing? No! I can't do this again! Frantically thinking that I've got to stop this before it starts. For some reason Ex was looking totally sleazy in a kelly green tracksuit and gold necklaces. Huh? Ex would never dress like that in a million years!
I come to my senses and stop it before it starts. Even though I'm scared of the consequences. "No! I don't want to do this. I'm sorry, but we're making a mistake. I don't want to get back together."
And that was the end of my dream. But I can't believe I had a nightmare about getting back together with Ex! LOL My sponsor and I even had a discussion about this last night - about how, as addicts, we keep going back to old things that didn't work, but we think to ourselves, "Well this time I'm going to MAKE it work!!! This time will be different." Instead of bumping up against a wall, learning that that way doesn't work and that it hurts, and not doing it anymore.
We keep doing the same thing over again and expecting different results. That's insanity. And that's the story of my life. Go figure.
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