Thursday, November 30, 2006

What's Up with Waiterrant.net?

I love that blog. For some reason, it's not loading properly. Anyone else a reader of Waiterrant and do you know what the problem is? Of course, I suspect that no one knows what it is outside of Waiter.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Suitable

Well I have worked here now for three years. It'll be four in January. All I can think about it one more week of vacation. If I don't get laid off next year or if I don't get fired. One more week of vacation.

So I've worked up here with the executives, the myriad VPs, Directors, EVPs, SVPs, COOs, CEOs, Chief Counsel, you name it, for almost four years.

And I just bought my first matching suit, top to bottom, about two weeks ago. I actually feel like a professional, if not a ginormous purple people eater. I can't believe how much thinner this thing makes me look. I think my family might swoon if they saw me dressed like this.

I mean, I feel like I kinda fit in now. I'm even better dressed today than Malignant Presence aka Twiggy. And that's really something. She's usually dressed perfectly. Napoleon's complimented her on it many, many times. But over the years, she's gotten a little more broad in the beam, so her little suits and stuff don't fit, I guess. I wonder why I can relate to that...hmmmmmm.

I resisted dressing better for so long and now it actually feels pretty good. It's a bit surprising.

Patience and Money Will Win the War...But You Also Need Imagination

Salon has a great article about a new gay agenda. The agenda is winning elections.

Personally, I think people vote for anti-gay marriage laws and similar crap because they're afraid. What if our society allowed gay couples to freely marry, foster children, adopt children, you name it? It hasn't happened widely before. People are afraid of it.

What they should do is enlist Hollywood. Let the public see what life would be like if gay couples could marry, inherit, adopt, parent, etc., just like everyone else. Hollywood's been trying and you see gay families on TV and whatnot, but people probably need more. And of course, it's not going to be as glossy or as pretty as it is on TV. But that's the same for heterosexuals anyway. We're portrayed as being far more clean, healthy, wealthy, and happy than we actually are lol.

Anyway, the question is not whether gays will ever have rights equal to those of straight folk. The question is when.

And truthfully, the sooner the better, in my humble opinion. Children in those unions deserve the protections that equal marriage, inheritance, and medical rights would provide. Other than that, frankly, I'm not sure I see the logic in turning our back on one segment of the population because they have a difference. We're not allowed to do such things on the basis of race or creed, are we? Laws that single out people based on those things are often struck down. It shouldn't be any different for gay people.

This is one thing that turns me off about being Republican. It turns me off when politicians use gay marriage as a soapbox to stand on because people are afraid. They're playing on people's fears, not reality. And, unfortunately, Republicans are sooooo guilty of that. I'm thisclose to changing my party affiliation.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Hmmm...

If you're stocking the executive filching fridges with canned pop and you keep dropping the most popular brand of pop and then you thinkin smilingly about how funny it would be if an executive opened that can and it exploded all over them, you probably should not apply for a position of higher responsibility. Or maybe...you should. : )

Friday, November 24, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving, World

Thanksgiving was lovely. I can't say it was particularly remarkable or anything, but it was good.

First, in order to stave off the insanity, we went to Thanksiving at a friend's house. It was lovely. Munchkin had a wonderful time and she looked so adorable in her purple party dress. Her behavior was thisclose to impeccable. She had so much fun playing in the backyard and playing with the cats. I really had to remind myself to not obsess about her dress and how many stickers were getting on it. But I succeeded and life is so much better when you don't obsess about stuff like that.

Next up was afternoon insanity. IE we went to my mom's house. This experience was good, but a bit creepy. I mean, it's a little bit creepy how HAPPY my mom is while my dad's in the klink. She's frickin motivated. Her apartment is getting cleaner, exponentially so. Things are neat. She bought a small washer and dryer. WTF? She didn't complain even ONCE about cooking dinner or cleaning up afterward. Not a frickin word.

Seeing my mom like that was like seeing who she could be if she could just remove herself from that hellish marriage. I have judged my mom so often, and divorce wouldn't solve all her problems. It would present new challenges. But I think my mom would at least have a chance at it. She deserves that.

So often, I feel sorry for my dad. But is he the appropriate one to feel sorry for? I mean, my mom's not the one doing the binge drinking, now is she? Yeah, my dad's feeble, but didn't he make that bed himself? Didn't he put the those thumbtacks on the mattress? But now that he's feeble, isn't it too late to hold him accountable?

Well, I guess I don't need the answers. I am taking myself out of the equation and resigning as guardian. I love my dad, but I can't solve his problems. I have too many of my own to solve. And not many answers for those.

Gosh, is that really true? No, it's not. I do have the answers. I think that we always know the truth about things inside. It's there, God gives us that knowledge, or our instincts do, or banana bread does, depending on what you believe. Whether I am brave enough to leave behind my illusions and my habits and my fears is the only question, truly.

And in other news, I believe my ex is still reading this blog and I can't for the life of me figure out why. What is it? Morbid curiosity? You want to see what I become when I grow up, at the ripe old age of thirty? Want to revel in any mistakes that I might make and then foolishly publicize? Want to see me admit you were right about this that and the other?

Another good question might be why do I give a sh*t? Who cares? Let the man read all he wants. It doesn't matter one whit whether he does or not.

So last night, my sister said she was thankful for my transformation. I guess it's easier to be around me than it is to be around a conniving, rude b*tch. LOL.

Well I'm off to my haircut. I yearn to grow my hair out again but God, that would be so messy. I don't think I could deal with it.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Update

Well I applied for an Executive Assistant position within ABC Nuts & Bolts. I have no hope of getting this position, I think, but it never hurts to try.

Two people I know who are wonderful employees were already turned down for one reason or another. One of them was turned down because she is perceived to be unable to keep confidences. I think this is weird - she was offered the position of personal assistant to the former owners of the company. That requires a whole lotta confidentiality.

The other -- I know not why. But, typically, they really want their executive assistants to not be people who gossip or even have close office friendships. Loose lips sink ships and all that, I think.

And here I am, with my blog. My blog is kept anonymous though, I don't think much really sensitive information goes in here. Though I am exposed to some sensitive information, I treat it that way.

Well, anyway, I did buy some new office clothes so I will look more professional. Currently, the only way in which I stand out around here is my ragamuffin wardrobe, which pushes the casual envelope, and my computer knowledge, which is better than most of the people I support. But that's about it.

Though this job is atrophying my brain, I am loathe to leave it. What if I can't find something better? I did see an Office Manager position with a .com company. Which now sounds like a bad idea, considering it is a .com company. Still, that does sound better than eternal administrative assistant.

I think I will text-ify my resume tonight and see what I come up with. Still, a little company like that is bound to have worse benefits than this one. Now, I haven't jobhunted for about four years, and my understanding from my supervisor, whom I can trust to be honest, is that benefits across the board are worse than they were when I first started working here. That seems logical.

But I just really need to do *something*. It's not that I don't like my job. It is that it's not very challenging anymore. However, M2 says she might have me build a database for her that'll handle her College World Series stuff. That'll be a blast. :o)

Well this is rambling. I know the outcome is supposed to be in God's hands, right? I should try harder to leave it there, where it belongs.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Scientist Suggests Pollution May Help Cool Planet

I think this article is fascinating. A scientist is saying that we should shoot pollutants into the stratosphere in order to help cool the Earth, much like Mt. Pinatubo did not long ago. Read the article for more details, but....

...watch Highlander 2 or 3. I can't remember which one it was, but in the movie, the Highlander was a scientist and he had helped design a 'shield' of haze to help protect the Earth because of global warming! How ironic!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Mr. Spice

I don't think I've written about this guy before. I never had much business with him when he was in this department, and virtually nothing since he was moved out of this department. Probably the most memorable thing about him was that he was perpetually in a bad mood. When I was new here, I did a client visit for him in a different building, and he complained to my supervisor because I had forgotten to put out coasters. Coasters! Well, today was a reminder that everyone gets their just desserts.

I saw him in the lunchroom today and I was reminded how much things can really suck for people not working in the sales department.

 
Hey there, how's it going?

Fine, how are you S?

Oh good. So are you happy now that you're out of sales? I thought the answer would be yes.

Let's see. I work twice as hard and get paid half as much, and I have to worry about getting fired every f*ckin day. Yes, I like it.

Oh dear. I think people not in sales don't get paid quite as much. A friend of mine is leaving the company over it - she supports about 300 people, supervises two employees, and they won't give her a raise. She also gets paid less than I do. Much less. There are some drawbacks to working in the Sales department, but salary is not one of them.

OJ Simpson is Stupid

OR  perhaps just incredibly insensitive. I'll vote for both.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061115/ap_en_mo/simpson_interview_14
He is going to discuss, hypothetically, how he would have done it, if he'd done it, but he claims that he didn't do it.

Is the man broke? Is that why he would stoop so low? For God's sake, he's got two children with one of the victims in question…how could he possibly write such a book or especially have an unrestricted interview on this topic?

This smells like a man who's incredibly satisfied that he got away with murder and is just itching to tell the world about it so he can be admired for it.

He looks guiltier than ever.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Job Woes, Goals, and Zaftigiousness

Nah, don't worry, my job is fine. I am just steeply unmotivated today.

So unmotivated that I had to go home and take a nap during lunch. I'm doing much better now but I have p*ssed away most of the day. Which, strangely enough, I do regret and feel guilty over. Ugh. D*mn conscience is growing or somethin.

ANYWAY, I was inspired by the departure of a colleague of mine to look at the job ads. So I took a gander.

And couldn't find anything in my field that I was remotely interested in. Really.

And my primary reason why? Because I have become a horridly slothful employee! Well, at least for today. On some other days, I am wildly industrious and can get many, many things done.

I just have no passion for being a secretary, a lackey, anymore. I'm not really very interested in helping people, and I want to think more. This has grown way too easy. Every time I look in the job ads for something new, I find things that I could easily do but have no motivation to hop from one frying pan to another.

Goals
I guess I'm going to have to get some kind of education. I can't do this forever. Thank heavens my sponsor gave me a goals assignment. I have to come up with my one year goals and five year goals. I want to do the assignment but I also do NOT want to do it lol. I think she's worried that I'm going to get bored and then go get a boyfriend to fill in the gaps. She needn't worry. I feel too fat to find a desireable boyfriend.

Zaftiguousness
Guys that like fat chicks seem primarily interested in one thing and it shall remain nameless while I type this on my office computer. They're just as bad as shallow hounds trolling around clubs looking for a stick thin blonde. The reason they like more zaftig women? Maybe I'm just overly negative, but I find that it's probably because they deem the zaftigs to be more attainable and easier (in the vulgar sense) than stick thin blondes. I'm sure there are men out there who aren't shady and who are just simply attracted to thicker women. Jolly good for them. But I have yet to meet a non-shady one.

On Posting Less

I'm sure that the three or four people who actually read this blog have noticed a downswing in the number of postings. I've noticed myself less interested in posting in the blog.

When I first started the blog, I really didn't have that many friends that I talked to on a daily basis. So, I didn't really have anyone to tell my troubles to, no way of dealing with them. In fact, I wasn't deaing with them. What I much preferred to do was whine and cry and put my problems out there for the world to see in order to elicit sympathy or some other payoff. Hence, the blog.

The other thing that I liked to do was eat lots of Ben n Jerry's.

And I loved getting angry about things. That was great. I mean, I still get angry, but not quite as much anymore. Though, right now I am incensed that I got more sleep last night than I did the previous night and am even more tired than I was yesterday. Ugh. So wrong. Anyway, what better place to get angry and vent and be snarky than in my perfectly anonymous blog, right?

It was a confessional. It was an attention-getter, a way to get approval from the world for how I was living my life, etc. A way to get sympathy and empathy without having to go out on a limb and form any real friendships with real people.

Nowadays, things are different. I don't really need or want a confessional. Sometimes the blog helps me sort things out, but I now question the wisdom of having my sortings publicly displayed. Most of the posts that I start never make it to the blog. I'll be writing one and then realize that I don’t want to post it.

Of course, I still post occasionally, but just don't feel the need to whine so much. It's harder for me to dredge up the snark that came so easily when I was angry and irritated all the time. I have a harder time judging others. Though, of course, I still judge people liberally. Yet, this truly is an improvement in my character. Usually, when I'm writing an especially judgmental post, I hear this voice in my head accusing me of my own faults and urging me to stop throwing stones at others.

I used to love posting to my blog. It was a great outlet. But now I have other outlets. I still post, of course, and I probably won't ever take down the blog, but I just don't have the same need that I once did to put my dirty laundry out on the line for the neighbors to see.

Monday, November 13, 2006

A Truly Repulsive Product

Mint/coffee-flavored gum? Dude, I could have told you this was not going to turn out well.

Mary Kay Cosmetics Better Look Out

Oooooo, the FTC is after your asses.

Basically, the FTC is proposing new rules for multi-level marketers, which is the category that I believe Mary Kay falls into.

In April, citing hundreds of fraud investigations, the F.T.C. proposed new rules for multilevel marketing companies and related businesses. They would require companies to tell potential recruits how many sales representatives have failed to earn more than their start-up costs and how many customers have filed lawsuits for deceptive practices.

The proposal, which may be modified and could take as long as two years before approval, also requires a weeklong waiting period between approaching new sales representatives and sealing the deal.

If Mary Kay reps had to tell potential new recruits that they are not likely to earn their money back should they choose to buy a full inventory, you'd get a lot less people buying full inventories at the start of their Mary Kay careers, whether they were going to be long or short careers. And that would definitely take a few pink Cadillacs off the road. Ouch.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Peanut Butter is no More

Well children, you saw it here first. Peanut Butter is no more.

He has either quit or was fired, I know not which. But from the claims of the EA that she does not know, I would guess that it was a mutual parting of ways. And from the fact that, of course, I saw him printing out his resume not long ago.

I'm thankful that he's gone. That guy had Peanut Butter for brains and a personality that was worse. Hopefully, he'll be happier wherever he lands. : )

A Little Jewel from Annie's Mailbox - On Spousal Shaming of Weight Gain

My best friend of 22 years is going through this right now. She was a 6' ft tall, blue-eyed, blonde, size 10 when, at 23, she married her husband. He is a nice guy in all respects, but he is critical of her because she has gained weight. I just spent a weekend with her in Minnesota and I think that she has become compulsive about food.


Her guy isn't as bad as this jerk, but he did make an asinine comment about her weight in front of me. Which I called him on. I just told him, "I can't believe you just said that. That was really asinine." To which he replied (of course), "I don't care what you say." "Well that's fine, don't, but you should care what your wife is saying." Which is basically the following, "You make me feel ashamed of myself and so I desire to be intimate with you less and less. Your shaming of me also makes it harder for me to love myself enough to truly want to make changes."

Sadly, I think that their union is going to end in divorce unless they can work out their issues. She says that she doesn't want to have kids ever or at least not right now, but I sense conflict regarding children. I think she'd love to have them but not while her husband's shaming her about her weight like that. Plus she is basically taking care of him while he does very little for her. So I think she feels she already has a child to take care of and that a baby will just be added work for her and added abdication of responsibility for him.

They seem to still love each other and seem to still have some of their friendship left. How do you tell your friend that she and her husband need counselling without sounding preachy and intrusive? Answer - you don't. You let her figure it out herself, same as she let you. You hope for the best for her and prepare to offer your shoulder as necessary, without judgment.

I'm thankful to be in program so I can actually see this. So that I can see these things happening and not form my own agenda and try to shove it down her throat. Basically, I'm grateful that I can be a good friend. Finally.


Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Not Thin Enough in Texas," whose fiance was fixated on her weight. You told her to run from him.

I wish I had asked for advice when I met my ex-weight-watcher six years ago. Instead, I married him. I thought his fixation would go away after the wedding, but it got worse. I had to get on the scale every day so he could check my weight. He would buy clothes for me just to make sure I stayed the same size. He belittled me constantly and daily asked if I went to the gym. It was abusive.

By the way, I was, and still am, a size 6. "Not Thin Enough" should run and never look back.
Southern Indiana

Dear Indiana: Thanks for "weighing in." We're sorry you had to learn your lesson the hard way, but we appreciate your writing to warn others.

The Ax is Falling...

And two 20 year trees are being cut down.

One is a sexist old fuddy-duddy. He sidles up to attractive associates at company functions. No one can stand him.

The other is someone whose calls I try to avoid. She doesn't know how to run a computer and talks incessantly while you try to give her instructions. She also usually sounds like she has an overabundance of salivary glands in her mouth. When she calls, you always think she is probably chewing something and mein Gott, that is so rude!

Aside from that, though, Fuddy Duddy and Spit Lady are nice people. FD is usually fun to email back and forth with.

The NY office is slowly being done away with. First, their assistant was axed. And man, she wasn’t happy about it. And she didn't have any qualms letting you know she wasn't happy with it.

My next bet is that the remaining salesperson from that trio will probably work from home going forward. She's expecting a wee one in December, anyway, so it makes life easier for her.

Wish I had more snark about this, but I really don't.

I predict the next one out is Peanut Butter. His corporate credit card is suspended because he FUBAR'd it.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

If I Were a Stay at Home Mom, This is the Kind I'd Want to Be

The kind who takes her wine with her to the playdate and has a glass or two while relaxing.

Not the kind who worries every day about whether her kid will get into an ivy-league school.

Ok, I posted that before I read the entire article, which is apparently not necessarily just saying that it's good that moms are having fun and not being so obsessive. The article is written with a leaning toward concern that this could be a new vein of alcoholism. Which would be a bad thing, certainly.

So I am not advocating alcoholism. Man I feel dorky.

NY Times: The Election's Most Personal Attack Ad

Are you a Teddy Wayne?

The Election’s Most Personal Attack Ad


Published: November 9, 2006

St. Louis

TEDDY WAYNE sure talks a good game. But how is he on the issues — specifically, my issues with him as a boyfriend?

Teddy Wayne promises he’ll call you that night. He promises to be a better listener. He promises to let you hold the remote.

Ladies, aren’t these the same broken promises we’ve been hearing from guys since high school?

Teddy Wayne claims he’s concerned about my health care. But when I got the flu, he dropped off a can of chicken soup and then cut and ran, saying he didn’t want to “risk getting sick when I’m swamped at work.”

Teddy Wayne professes to have a reputation as quite the “swing-stater,” but during his term as my boyfriend he has proven again and again that he kisses like a seventh grader.

And how’s his record?

Teddy Wayne voted no on Proposition “Let’s go somewhere romantic when you have time off in September,” under the pretense that there weren’t the financial resources for it.

But just one week later he passed his friend Randy’s “Dude, let’s hit up Atlantic City tonight” grassroots initiative and spent as much as a weekend at a Vermont B&B would have cost. Is this the kind of fiscal responsibility you want in your boyfriend?

Let’s ask a few women who know Teddy Wayne what they think of him:

MICHELLE F. Things started off nice — $50-a-plate dinners, love speeches, the works. But once I committed, he became the worst lame duck ever, carrying through his real agenda of doing whatever he wanted, always pardoning his awful friends. What a Dukakis.

CAMERON M. That guy? Ugh. He would not leave me and my friends alone on Saturday. At the bar, he kept saying we were “babes” and we should pose for “photo ops” with him kissing us. Later, I saw him drunk-dialing all the girls in his cell — or, as he called them, his “constituents.”

JULIE B. Impeach Wayne!

Ladies, I need a new direction for the men I date. No more singles-bar insiders. Not another out-of-control spender whenever it’s my turn to pay for dinner who then exorbitantly taxes my patience by rambling on about how his boss doesn’t appreciate him.

I want my own Obama, a boyfriend who shows he cares about my livelihood by sincerely asking how my day was, who will look to diplomacy first and not get violently jealous when the deli guy innocently winks at me, who’s willing to share his feelings without first watching “Field of Dreams” — even though I’ll probably soon get bored because he’s a little too nice and harmless and is exactly the sort of guy my mother would vote for me.

This Election Day, join me in showing Teddy Wayne the door. But first I have to make sure there isn’t a Knicks game on, or he won’t even notice.

I’m Teddy Wayne’s girlfriend, and I approve this message.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Nugget of Wisdom #213

If everything else comes before your child, then you are a bad parent.

Tomorrow you can change.