The Story of Niece

At 8:07 AM, Anonymous said…

I have tried to figure out what your sister did to get herself in this situation, why she lost or is losing her child, but I can't find this definitively in your archives. Does your sister want her child? Is your sister really beyond hope of ever being a responsible parent? How did you end up with her and how did she then end up not with you?

Good questions. To answer them, I will just tell the story of Niece and I. Ready for a long story?

I still remember the day that my sister told me she was pregnant. I was the first person in the family to know. We were in my car, looking at my house that was being built at the time. This was in Spring 2000.

"Can I tell you someone and you promise not to tell Mom or Dad? You have to promise!"

"Ok, sure I promise. Calm down, geez."

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh my God, that's wonderful!"

"Mom and Dad are going to freak when they find out."

"Dad will be happy, Mom can kiss your a**. I'll be there with you. Don't be ashamed. I'm so excited!"

And that night, I took Sister and the sperm donor (hereinafter called SD) to dinner to celebrate. Sister and SD were planning to get married and raise their baby together. Things didn't look good for sister and SD from the start.

SD was significantly younger than my sister, who was about 27 or 28 at the time…he was 18 or 19.

Sister told Dad that night and he was excited. He then asked me, "Well, why aren't you pregnant yet?" I got up and left. Then I went home and cried. We didn't know, at the time, that my then-husband's past Hodgkin's Disease had left him sterile. But five years non-birth controlled marriage indicated that something was amiss.

We all thought Sister would miscarry, as she had had several miscarriages in the past. But this one was a keeper.

Sister's pregnancy progressed right along. She grew and grew and then we found out she was having a girl. Off to Carter's we'd go at least once a month to get baby clothes. Sister was looking forward to having her baby.

Rumblings of SD and Janwitch having an affair started coming to my ears. Actually, what started coming to my ears was tales of the two going out 'job-hunting' together, but then ending up at her grandmother's house for hours. I knew something was wrong. I knew that where there's smoke, there's fire, and I had never liked Janwitch anyway. She loved talking smack about my sister behind her back. Yet sister counted her as her best friend.

The day after I went to counselling and realized that I had to let go of my sister's life, which I'd been trying to help her run for so many years, and told Janwitch as much, was the day that SD and Janwitch decided to take a powder to Texas and leave my 3 or 4-months pregnant sister to face her pregnancy and parenthood alone.

We didn't know where they'd gone or what had happened for a few days afterward. I can't remember how we found out, but I think my sister already knew -- they had run off together, and where they'd gone didn't matter so much as that they had gone there together.

My sister was in a fog after that, for a long time, I don't remember how long. She didn't want to eat. She didn't want to do anything. She just cried. She'd really fallen in love with this twerp and he'd brazenly broken her heart and taken her best friend with him. I tried to take her out to dinner and cheer her up as much as I could. My mom and dad helped her through her pregnancy.

Soon I saw that this was my chance to get my sister into therapy and get her some help. I talked with her about her needing someone to talk to and that she should think about therapy, for her and her baby's sake. That's what got her into therapy; 'for your baby's sake.' That child was all she had to live for. Unfortunately, she ended up getting therapy from a nutjob.

Everyone soldiered through the pregnancy. I was extremely involved. Every doctor's appointment was exciting. We bought clothes and blankets and whatnot galore. Sister sunk deeper into depression while still functioning, but not functioning very well.

Finally, the day came. Our little girl was about to be born. I was at my then-in-laws' house and I got the call I'd been waiting for. I left my husband there with his parents to babysit him, and went to the hospital. After enduring hours of labor, and nurses that treated my sister like dirt, Niece was finally born. Sister immediately forgot her pain.

Now welcome to the Jerry Springer show. Niece's father was there in the hospital, but his arrival there had preceded his ex girlfriend's. He was there because he was a resident of the mental ward; having tried to commit suicide about a week earlier. Nevertheless, SD padded into the room and I do have snaps of him and my sister holding their baby together. When Niece is older, I will share those with her.

Now that we're up to the birth of Niece, we'll take a break here. Stay tuned for Chapter 2.