Not Acceptable

Today I had some questions about what would happen should I choose not to adopt Niece.

And, boy did I get my answer.

I emailed the caseworker some questions and she called me back…she said she didn't have answers to what I asked, but she could tell me one thing for sure:

If someone else adopts Niece, I will probably never see her again.

I had wondered about that. Niece's therapist had told me a while ago that if Niece were adopted by someone else, I would be able to see her. But can you imagine adopting a child and still letting a member of her crazy family see her? A person whom you didn't know from Adam? While you're trying to build your own family life and identity with this child?

Yeah. Neither could I.

I don't think that not seeing Niece again is acceptable to me.

And while I was on the phone with the caseworker, I kept using the words 'what's best for Niece.' But the only person on the phone talking about Niece's interests was the caseworker.

I was talking about my own needs. The caseworker was talking about what would be the least traumatic for my Niece. And it is apparent that she believes that I am what's best for Niece.

I still have a lot of time to decide. But I think I'm getting very close to knowing what I'm going to do.