And that food is bananas.
I may possibly add tofu.
Why would you endeavor to never eat those perfectly harmless, natural goodies again, you may wonder?
Because they produce ginormous clouds of f*ckin gas. I mean, huge. Last week after the banana debacle, I kept praying no one would come into my cubicle and breathe through their nose. Unforunately, however, people have something against being mouthbreathers. I have no idea what they have against the concept of mouthbreathing, but people invariably do, hence my prayer.
For I had been farting all day,
to the left and to the right
and I feared the scent wouldn't leave
till I had a shower that night.
Like my fart poem? I thought so.
In other news, Sister has been teaching Niece to be a lady during their visits, which Niece proudly told us.
In the context of the moment after having made that statement, consider how surprised the whole family was on Sunday when, whilst at dinner in a restaurant with the 5 year old, she suddenly pulled down her tank top and commanded us all to look at her boobies.
After gasping and almost screaming the words STOP THAT!, we recovered ourselves enough to tell her to not do that. She kept innocently blabbing on about boobies this, boobies that, and just general boobage until we found something more interesting to change the subject to.
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