Oh Great..Just What I Need: Jobs That May No Longer Exist by 2014

http://jobs.aol.com/article/_a/americas-endangered-jobs/20060524144009990001

Jobs That May No Longer Exist by 2014
Kate Lorenz, CareerBuilder.com Editor

While America's job outlook is healthy and many industries are projected to grow in the coming years, there are also signs that some occupations are becoming obsolete.

The majority of the decreases are in office and administrative support and production occupations, which are affected by the implementation of office technology that reduces the needs for these workers, changes in business practices, and escalating plant and factory automation. A majority of the job openings occurring in these occupations will arise not from job growth, but from the need to replace those who transfer to other industries, retire or leave for other reasons

Here are some of the jobs expected to severely decline between now and 2014, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

For the purposes of this blog, I have edited out everything but what's relevant...

Secretaries (Except Legal, Medical and Executive)
How many jobs are in jeopardy: 48,000
Why they're endangered: Automated equipment is changing the distribution of work in many offices. Professionals and managers increasingly do their own word processing and data entry, and handle much of their own correspondence rather than submitting the work to secretaries and other support staff.

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That's just great. That's just PERFECT.

Well, I knew that I didn't want to be a secretary forever, and I knew that my position is becoming a wee bit obsolete. So it doesn't bother me that the occupation of secretary might be caput by 2014. What bothers me is that there's gonna be a long downhill slide before the Secretary is actually extinct.

You know what's too bad about this?

Even with spell check, grammar check, everything check, these people still flub up their presentations, Word docs, etc regularly. If I weren't here to fix their glaring errors, and I do mean glaring, they would look like total idiots, not even taking into account whatever comes out of their mouths. I mean, these people can't spell. They don't know a thing about grammar. Very few of them are Word or Excel or PowerPoint masters. In fact, very few of them can function passably with the aforementioned software products. Those who can function passably still have their ignorance of spelling, grammar, and punctuation to overcome.

And in other news….
…my company was just bought by a private equity firm. ABC Nuts and Bolts will no longer be a publicly traded company. Turning a profit just became a whole lot more important, methinks.

Mr. Leads said that one thing that this means is that our company headquarters just got moved from here to Boston.

Ok, now this is going to sound ridiculous, but I read this murder mystery recently, and it was about a guy who runs a private equity firm. And how it seems to work, from what I understand, is that the equity firm buys and sells companies to turn a profit. Ok great. So we're part of their 'fund'. They don't micromanage the companies they buy; as long as they keep turning a profit at the same rate or better. They have a person on the board, but they leave the management and operations fairly intact, as long as said management and operations is performing to their expectations. If not, then things could get sticky.

They buy a company and hold onto it until they see an opportunity where our company is ripe for picking, and then they sell us. Mr. Leads said that that's wherein fear may lie. What if a company bigger than us buys us? Like a competitor? They won't need more than one sales and marketing department.

See why job security has morphed? Job security used to mean that you got a job, you worked there all your life, and then you retired with a pension from that job. Job security now means being in a field where your skills and background will always be in demand. Not necessarily at the same job for life or even for a long time. Job security these days is knowing that, if you lose your existing job for any reason, you can find another comparable position easily, because people need you. You're always in demand.

This is why education is so important. If you want to make a decent living, it seems that college is no longer an option. It's a requirement.

I Gave My Life and Will to the Care of God Today

And that's some scary shit.

 

Hmm...funny how it sounds bad to use the word shit in a post with the title that this one has.

 

Oh well, God will forgive me.

 

So I guess this means I gotta start listening to that nagging little voice in my head that tells me that

Mr. Wrong is bad news (check),

so is ice cream (check check), and

so is calling my mother a moron (checkity check check).

 

I guess now I have to grow up, and that mean balancing my checkbook, paying bills, delayed gratification (WTF is that about? Oh, maturity, did you say? Ugh...).

 

I guess now that means that I have to stop procrastinating about everything at work...everything from expenses (which I missed the deadline one) to making airline reservations, to working on that list of conference rooms. I've totally turned into an administrative assistant snob. Maybe I'm taking my angst about life in general out on my job? Maybe I'm being pissy at my employer because I'm sick of being stuck, as if that were my employer's fault in the least. Please.

 

I don't have to do these things just because they're the right thing to do.

 

I have to do them because my intuition, which I have read is God's direct line into our lives, tells me that these are the correct actions to take. And since my way's obviously not working in the least, then I obviously don't know what the hell I'm doing. But I'm pretty sure that the God of my understanding knows what he's doing.

 

Tonight was an awesome meeting. Not only did I make a huge decision. But a dear friend of mine, who doesn't know how dear she is to me, because I am so awed by her, was the speaker tonight. Every time I listen to her, I find a new perspective. She shared tonight about finding her higher power and starting a relationship with that higher power. She shared tonight about walking down a hall in her grandmother's house, walking through a pool of sunlight in that hallway, and feeling God for the first time.

 

That's what struck me. I have felt that. I have been there. I don't remember the last time that that happened, but I too have stood or basked in a pool of sunlight, had that feeling of contentedness, warmth, and happiness bubbling up inside of me, and known that, in that moment, I was feeling God. And it felt so wonderful that it buoyed me through the rest of the day.

 

Tonight I felt God once again, just remembering that. And I felt God when I was talking to a newcomer at a coffee shop, sharing my experience with her, and seeing that she could relate and that she was relieved that she wasn't the only one who felt that way. She asked me to be her sponsor, but I had to decline because A)I'm not ready, and B) I don't have 60 days of abstinence yet. It's chiefly because I'm not ready, though. Even if I had 60 days of abstinence. It was awesome to see the tears in her eyes...not sadness, but relief at knowing she's not alone and that she can let some of her guilt about things go.

 

In other news...

 

I'm now a Pill-taking woman. That's a big deal to me; I hate chemical birth control. But if it'll help my PCOS, then I'm going for it. Plus that whole thing about more regular, less severe periods? Sounds good to me, honey. Doc said it would also help my skin. Lord knows it needs it. Funny how I was completely unwilling to go on the Pill to appease my ex boyfriend. Guess that the Pill, for me, would have contributed to a feeling of being used? And would have irritated me knowing that the onus for birth control was on me when it should be a joint responsibility. Yeah. I know. This shit sounds a little outta whack. Well, consider where I was. Moving along....

 

...posting from home is so much more fun. I can cuss without asterisks. :)

 

ZoomZoom Postponed

 

My computer's delivery date is postponed to Thursday. How will I make it through another day with this dinosaur? Somehow, I think I'll survive. But man, that frickin sucks ass.

 

Meanwhile, Dad wants to buy my laptop. Mom is not pleased, to say the least. She is vehemently against it. I'm not sure if I should sell it to him or not. Last time I tried to teach him about computers, he was way more mentally capable. I don't want to waste his money, yet he seems determined, if only to piss off my mother. Is it my business to worry about his motives? Yet I need to keep a clear conscience, right? Surely Sponsor will have some insight on this little issue.

 

You know, my dad learning how to operate a computer might be good for him. Could keep him a little sharper and in touch. But then I'd worry about all those assholes online who might try to part him from his money. LOL as though there's any money to take...but you never know.

 

New EA Started Today

 

Temp is almost done. Her last day is this Friday. The new EA started today. I'm not sure what her nick will be. But she wasn't hired because she's hot. She was hired because she fits in, that much is certain. She may be petite, but what they've probably noticed more about her than that is that she doesn't miss a thing and is very professional in her demeanor and dress. She seems like one of those people who could fit in absolutely anywhere. Her air is one of someone who absolutely has it together at all times. Temp is convinced that she was hired because she's cute and petite. She's not that cute, but she is petite. However, Temp's conviction is wrong, and I'm prepared to give this one a chance, as I do all the people they hire. I can tell this one oughta fit in like one of them round pegs, as Forrest, my ex husband's hero, would say. : )

 

And now I feel called to take care of myself by taking my medication (no, not for my mental state), washing my face, and going to bed at a decent hour. Perhaps with a book until I fall asleep.

Frickin Lunatics

Only in Amsterdam, of course…

Pedophiles to launch political party

1 hour, 22 minutes ago

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Dutch pedophiles are launching a political party to push for a cut in the legal age for sexual relations to 12 from 16 and the legalization of child pornography and sex with animals, sparking widespread outrage.

The Charity, Freedom and Diversity (NVD) party said on its Web site it would be officially registered Wednesday, proclaiming: "We are going to shake

The Hague awake!"

The party said it wanted to cut the legal age for sexual relations to 12 and eventually scrap the limit altogether.

"A ban just makes children curious," Ad van den Berg, one of the party's founders, told the Algemeen Dagblad (AD) newspaper.

>> What?

"We want to make pedophilia the subject of discussion," he said, adding the subject had been a taboo since the 1996 Marc Dutroux child abuse scandal in neighboring Belgium.

"We want to get into parliament so we have a voice. Other politicians only talk about us in a negative sense, as if we were criminals," Van den Berg told Reuters.

>> Probably because you are. Just a thought.

The Netherlands, which already has liberal policies on soft drugs, prostitution and gay marriage, was shocked by the plan.

>> Consenting s*x between adults is one thing. People shooting junk up their veins and smoking doobies is one thing. They're destroying their own bodies with full knowledge of what they're doing. Society abhors pedophilia for a reason…because children simply are not ready, nor will they ever be, for s*x or s*xual activity.

An opinion poll published Tuesday showed that 82 percent wanted the government to do something to stop the new party, while 67 percent said promoting pedophilia should be illegal.

>>At least people in the Netherlands aren't completely insane.

"They make out as if they want more rights for children. But their position that children should be allowed sexual contact from age 12 is of course just in their own interest," anti-pedophile campaigner Ireen van Engelen told the AD daily.

Right-wing lawmaker Geert Wilders said he had asked the government to investigate whether a party with such "sick ideas" could really be established, ANP news agency reported.

Kees van deer Staaij, a member of the Christian SGP party, also demanded action: "Pedophilia and child pornography should be taboo in every constitutional state. Breaking that will just create more victims and more serious ones."

The party wants private possession of child pornography to be allowed although it supports the ban on the trade of such materials. It also supports allowing pornography to be broadcast on daytime television, with only violent pornography limited to the late evening.

Toddlers should be given sex education and youths aged 16 and up should be allowed to appear in pornographic films and prostitute themselves. Sex with animals should be allowed although abuse of animals should remain illegal, the NVD said.

>> I think that sentiment alone clearly delineates the mental state of these people.

The party also said everybody should be allowed to go naked in public and promotes legalizing all soft and hard drugs and free train travel for all.

It's Confirmed; Napoleon is a Little Coward

Little being the operative word.

I thought it was just me.

I thought that I was just over sensitive about Napoleon…over sensitive after he made my supervisor give me that warning back in November. I thought that perhaps I was just imagining that he was avoiding me, avoiding taking the same elevator as me, avoiding talking to me, you name it.

But since being passed over for the EA position, Temp has noticed that he won't speak to her either. And he takes great pains to avoid crossing paths with her. He used to be so much more friendly.

So that gives me pause to wonder…why would he be avoiding me now? He's said nothing against me that I'm aware of, nor has he done anything. As far I know, I'm so far removed from his world that I don't factor in.

But then again, I have to admit feeling insecure now that they've hired an EA whose technical skills are equal to my own so that, as Supervisor put it, I'm not the only one with the ability to help people out when they're in a pinch. IE so I'm less necessary.

Well, would life really be horrid if I no longer worked here? Sure, it would be a little dicey. That's true. But I could find another position, I’m sure. However, bankruptcy does make things a little harder. Oh well, there's no sense worrying about what might happen in that sense. It's outside of my control. Actions are what count, I am learning. So I need to work on my actions and let God take care of the outcomes.

Am I Evil...

 

...because I read that an 'activist judge' overturned marriage laws, which made homosexual marriage legal in all 50 states and then I smiled? :o)

 

I remember sitting at my kitchen table with my former in-laws and my husband and arguing with them that marriage should be legal for gay people. The only argument that they had was that 'you can't just change the way things have always been!' Yet they were completely pro-choice.

 

Well, correction on that -- my ex mother in law was. My ex father in law just didn't want to argue with his harridan of a wife. But he should have. After all, he created the harridan. Why shouldn't he suffer the consequences? Oh wait...he did. Every single day when other churchgoers were out of earshot.

 

It's amazing how, when you're watching a good movie, you don't care if you get to eat during that movie or not. You're happy just to be watching the movie. I just finished watching such a film. "Proof" with Gwyneth Paltrow, Anthony Hopkins, and Jake Gyllenhall (spelling?). I don't care if Jake Gyllenhall may be gay or not...he's hot. I love him. He's a great actor. And the other two actors weren't bad either.

 

That movie made me wish I could find someone to fall in love with who was intellectual and understanding. And who didn't have some sadistic need to control children and women as well. Specifically, someone who doesn't date solely overweight women for purposes of controlling them.

 

I highly recommend that movie.

 

One movie that I do not highly recommend is "Irreversible". It's entirely in French, and is mainly an art house flick. I think the problem that I mainly had with it is that it had so much irrelevant, useless footage. The use of this footage was to get the viewer to see how things devolved into chaos as the night wore on. The idea is to make the footage devolve into chaos. Well, you could have done the same thing without having SO MUCH of the footage. I mean, it was enough to have little snippets of the footage. The main feeling one gets from seeing the camera work get more normal as the movie goes on is one of relief and a feeling that you might be getting closer to the end of this movie before you get motion sickness and have to hurl. I was dying to eat something during that film. The only reason I kept watching is because I was somewhat interested in the plot. I almost hit eject before the end though. I must report heavy usage of the fast forward button.

 

I can't remember movie number 3 and that might be good lol. Time to return these 3 to Blockbuster in order to acquire 3 more. I love movies. I love to escape in them, I think. Without being able to numb out using food, it's a lot harder to endure the bad ones. But that's ok, because I can at least add them to my pop culture knowledge. :o)

 

And in other news, I called my mother a moron yesterday. To her face. Yes. It's true. What? She said something moronic about my intentions when I called CPS. She insinuated that I wanted my sister's rights to get term'd so I could adopt Niece. This happened because, seeing that Wednesday is the big family pow-wow, I decided it was time to bring up the fact that if my sister's rights are term'd, then I want to adopt Niece. It was going to come out sooner or later, and this way, there'll be no choking going on at the family group conference.

 

That's the news from this weekend. Hope your weekend was good too. Au revoir.

OA Has Opened Me Up to Receive Love

Yeah, I know…this looks so corny, doesn't it?

But it's true. OA has opened up my heart. I'm not afraid to receive love and affection from others.

I used to be afraid to make friends because I was afraid I wouldn't keep my word to them, as usual. Not so anymore. I know that people can forgive.

I used to lie all the time about anything that I thought would make people unhappy. Now I accept that the truth is the truth and living in that truth makes life easier.

I don't have to live in lies anymore. I really felt that freedom today. My friend Mango hasn't decided to ditch me. Mango forgave me and actually demonstrated understanding. I was really surprised. In fact, now I'm getting to know Mango better because our friendship isn't based on shifting sands. It's based on reality. Mango feels more open toward me and I feel more open toward Mango. We can just be honest and open with eachother; we can trust eachother.

Just as I trust my OA friends. I have love for people more often now. It's like I can leave my anger behind, unless someone awakens it (like my mom). I'm not repressing it…it just takes up less room in my consciousness. I even am learning to love my family.

And it's because I can accept things more easily. I can accept Mom and Dad and my sister as they are. I have no need to fix them. Because I have no need to fix them, I don't get frustrated because they rebuff my efforts to fix and fiddle with them. But I do need to recognize that I need to stay away from them sometimes. :o) They can still drive me nuts.

Today I just feel really good. I just feel like I actually have real love for people now, not love that was based in fantasies or whatever. : )

Temp and My New Toy

Temp is definitely not getting hired. This is no longer conjecture, as her last day here is June 2nd. I wish she could have my job. She would rock at this job. But, for now, I need it more than she does. I wish I was in a position to leave and let her do this job. That would be awesome, since she'd be such an awesome fit.

So that bites.

I won't be able to delegate travel or expenses or binding away as I previously have. And, of course, she also happens to laugh at my jokes. This makes for a nicer day all around.

She cried yesterday because she perceives that the person who won the job got it because she is petite and perfect. She's probably right, to a certain extent.

I will miss her. She's been fun to work with. I know that I've complained. I complain about everyone, so who cares? Lol No one's immune from my whining.

What comforts me about Temp's leaving is that I am getting a new computer. In about 2 weeks. Rock on! This will definitely alleviate the "I just had to pay rent and am consquently broke" syndrome that I experience once a month.

With this new computer is coming a new digital camera. This is a good thing since the one that I own has taken its share of beatings and, due to those beatings, has a hard time focusing close up. It has definitely done its duty. It's about 5 years old now.

I'm so excited. This is even better than getting a new car lol.

The Truth

I am a liar.

Correction - I used to be a liar. No wait, let's distill that…I'm a recovering liar. Trying to stop lying about stuff.

Sometimes in my disease, something will happen, I'll just start lying to myself or others in a seemingly auto-pilot fashion. Because I always feel I have things to hide. But I'm trying to fight that urge. I'm trying to not be complacent about my food or my honesty.

The truth is, there was no reason to lie about this particular thing. None. I had nothing be ashamed of, but I lied anyway, because I thought that the person to whom I lied, whom we shall call Mango, would think less of me because of what I did. The truth is that there was no shame in what I did; I acted rightly. The only wrong in this situation came from choosing to tell a lie and, thereby, selling myself out.

I am reading this book called Boundaries. It's by Drs. Cloud and Townsend. Ostensibly, it's a Christian book. Yes, there are biblical references in the book. However, you can read the book as a non-Christian and still get it, because it's not pushing Christianity.

It's pushing sanity.

If you read it and you're a Christian, the biblical stuff is a bonus for you. I'm Christian, but am turned off by biblical references simply because the people who have been making them in my life are people who don't have love in their hearts when they're doing this stuff.

Anyway, through reading this book, I realized that living a life of deception is unworthy of me. I deserve better. And if I'm really going to give my life and my will over to the care of God, then I need to start living in faith by living in truth. Living in lies means that you are afraid of the truth, and you don't trust that you'll be ok if you live in the truth. I need to let go of the crutch of deception. My self-worth has to come from within, and it has to come from my own approval of what I do and how I live each day. When I can't approve of the things that I'm doing, then I can't believe in my own self's worth.

I'm not proud of having lied to Mango, but I am proud of having decided that my life is worthy of honesty. I'm proud to have decided, finally, that I don't need a fantasy to live in. My life is perfectly livable just the way it is. I don't have to change it so others can approve of it.

And now the wait begins to see if I will still have a friend when the dust settles, or whether I will not have a friend.

If Mango doesn't want to be a friend to me anymore when the dust settles, that's actually quite alright. It's alright because, if that is the case, then the friendship was obviously based on shifting sands. And it's also alright because I have other friends who don't make me feel ashamed of anything.

This lie was not of the unfaithful variety. I didn't lie about something I did to Mango. I lied about a decision that I made in my own life, not affecting Mango. However, the fact that I lied about it is weighty enough. It was a major decision for me. So that's what makes it a major lie.

And that's also what makes this a major aha moment in my life.

ZoomZoom & Colorful Language

ZoomZoom
No, I'm not getting a new car. Bessie the Banged-Up Escort Wagon is sticking with me for a while.

I am getting an new puter. I finally found a good deal at Dell and I'm going for it it tomorrow. I am so excited to buy a new computer that has never been looked upon by my exhusband, nor even been partially paid for by him.

It's all mine.

It's surprising how much this stuff means to me. It shouldn't mean that much, but it's like a sort of declaration of independence.

And this is also just in time because I would like to be able to play The Sims 2 without having to go to my sister's house, a place at which I am sure I'll soon be persona non grata.

Colorful Language
Reflecting on the usage of such colorful phrases, I have to give props to my parental units. It was from them that I learned such phrases as

Slower than molasses in January
You've got more excuses than Carter's got pills
Are you just going to sit there like a lump on a log?
You can kiss me at my highest point when I'm bending over pickin strawberries
Useless as the t*ts on a boar pig
That Democrat would sell his own mother for votes!
It's colder than a wh*re's dream out here!

And miscellaneous other phrases. Thank you, my parental units.

I Almost Did It

I was THISCLOSE! To asking Temp not to look at my screen whilst in my cube collecting her myriad printed pages.

I was reading Jason Mulgrew today (www.jasonmulgrew.com) and Temp came into my cube/cell/cubefarm plot/whatever) and was staring at my screen again. Goddamnit!

I had HAD it! So I just go, "Dude, would you…" and then I froze up. I couldn’t do it. Damnit!

So she's all like…"What? No, go ahead. I won't be offended!"

But I couldn't do it. I digressed and I just said, "No, no, no. It's nothing. I would be completely boorish." And just left it at that. Temp is going to be gone soon anyway; she came to me and said she didn't get the EA job (as I predicted she wouldn't, in this blog). She had seen Napoleon squiring a petite young lady about the office after a recent round of interviews.

But one good thing did come out of that conversation…Temp said that Dell is offering a 'box' for $299.00. That's good, cause I'm in the market for a new 'puter.

Cell Phones Don't Belong in Schools

This is a great editorial. She is so right. Parents and children alike did without cell phones for ages and ages. No new and different need, other than immediate gratification, has suddently sprung up to justify kids having cell phones at school.

Parents are whining simply because their children are whining.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/23/opinion/23scaccia.html?th&emc=th

Hang It Up

Article Tools Sponsored By
By JESSE SCACCIA
Published: May 23, 2006

YOU'RE a teacher in the New York City public school system. It's September, and you're lecturing the class on the structure of an essay. Your students need to know this information to pass your class and the Regents exam, and you, of course, hope that one day your talented students will dazzle and amaze English professors all over the country.

You turn your back to write the definition of "thesis" on the chalk board. It takes about 15 seconds. You turn around to the class expecting to see 25 students scribbling the concept in their notebook. Instead, you see a group of students who have sprung appendages of technology.

Jose has grown an earphone. Maria's thumbs have sprouted a two-way. Man Keung, recently arrived from China, is texting away on a cellphone connected to his wrist. And Christina appears to be playing Mine Sweeper on a Pocket PC on her lap.

Come the end of the term, a handful will fail the class. A number will never pass the Regents. As we all know, far too many will drop out of school. And I can tell you with no hint of pride that it isn't the teacher's fault. As much as any other problem plaguing our schools, the onus for failure should be placed on distractions in the classroom, specifically the cellphone.

Though electronic devices have been banned in public schools for years, the issue came to the forefront last month when Chancellor Joel Klein announced the random placement of metal detectors in schools. The result: more than 800 cellphones have been confiscated.

Students and their parents, who say they rely on cellphones for safety reasons, are outraged. There's even talk of a lawsuit arguing that the rule should be struck down.

But as a former New York City public school teacher, I can tell you that cellphones don't belong in the classroom. A student with a cellphone is an uninterested student, one with a short attention span who cares more about his social life than education.

Parents think of cellphones as a connection to their children in an emergency. I have a few questions for those parents: First, when was the last situation that genuinely called for immediate interaction with your child? In most cases, the hospital or the police would seem more urgent. Second, is phoning the main office and having it patch you through to your child not quick enough? And third, do you know why your children really want to take cellphones to school?

Because just like the new Jordans and Rocawear they desire, cellphones are status symbols. Because when their cellphone rings while the teacher is talking, everyone laughs. Because playing video games on their cell makes them look cool. Because text messaging their friend in the next room is more fun than learning about the topic sentence. So is listening to the new Three 6 Mafia song they just downloaded onto their cell.

And saying students can store their phones in the locker is a joke. If they have cellphones, they're going to bring them into class.

There are legitimate causes that parents should be taking on. Rally against crowding in the classroom. Fight against the oppressive and culturally biased Regents tests. But you're wrong on this cellphone issue. In this case, you are part of the problem, not the solution.

Twiggy, Temp, and the No-Tell Motel

I think I may have mentioned that Twiggy drives Temp crazy.

The reason she drives Temp crazy is because of her tendencies to meddle. This would be the same reason that Twiggy drives everyone nuts.

I may have explained this before.

Lately, my favorite director (we'll call her 7up…that's what I'm drinking today and also because she and 7up and nuns all have a little something in common, which I won't go into here) has given her travel requests and whatnot to me instead of to Twiggy. I'm not sure why. Possibly because she likes me better or maybe it's because she is sick of Twiggy. I'm not sure which. Guess it doesn't really matter.

Last week when 7up gave me a couple of travel requests to do, I delegated them to Temp because I was rushing about doing other stuff. I knew that she wanted that stuff done pretty quick.

Temp knows allllllll about travel.  And I do mean allll about it. 7up was in excellent hands with Temp.

So temp got the travel done, and everything was hunky dory.

Until it came time for me to get some directions for 7up. I started getting the directions, from 7up's hotel to the airport, and I asked temp about it, because it didn't look like the right address, from what Temp had told me about it. Temp had been talking about it because it had been notably difficult to get a hotel in LA at the time as there were several conventions in town. Temp found her a good hotel and that's where she booked 7up for this trip.

Pretty soon, Temp and I realized that Twiggy had changed 7up's hotel reservation without even telling Temp or I about it, even though Twiggy had not been involved in this. 7up would now be staying at "Ocean Luxury Suites". Naturally, Temp was pretty ticked off about it. That was the day that I told her it was ok to be angry and she could just say it if she wanted.

Well, the trip commenced yesterday and 7up called this morning about it. Come to find out, the Ocean Luxury Suites, which Twiggy booked, was a no-tell motel that charged by the hour.

Naturally, 7up refused to stay there. Surprise surprise.

I told Temp that at least now, she has something absolutely delicious to roll over in her head again and again and again. She copped to having done and continuing to do just that.

Cookies, Wartbugs, Christianity, and The Da Vinci Code

Wartbugs in my Cookie
Ok now this post is gonna be a little surreal.

Last night I had the weirdest dream on the face of the planet.

I dreamt that I had 'wartbugs' in my cookie and my mom was warning me about it. "See? If you'd waited until you got married again to have s*x, you wouldn't have wartbugs in your cookie!" I mean, I could see the bugs. In. my. cookie.

Mightily disturbing.

It was horrible. And I just finished reading this Dan Brown book, Deception Point. In the book, they find fossilized bug remains in this meteorite. So, of course, the bugs in my dream were white bugs that looked like the one's described in the book. Eeeeeeeek!

Christianity and The Da Vinci Code
Meanwhile, it seems that nutzo Christian churches (no, they're not all nutzo; just the ones that I'm referring to) are going crazy over the Da Vinci Code. I talked to a friend of mine about the movie and he's all like, "Too bad they questioned his divinity in the plot line! And too bad they intimated that he didn't die on the cross!!"

"What?"

"I heard they questioned his divinity and his death and resurrection."

"No, the book and the movie don't really question anything  about his divinity or death."

"Really? I thought they did! Thanks for letting me know."

He hadn't read the book. But I bet he had gone to church and heard this propaganda. What a load of sh*t.

If Jesus married and had children, that would say nothing about his divinity one way or the other. The Catholic Church contends that Jesus was fully man and fully God at the same time.  If that's true, then the existence of a wife and child(ren) doesn't detract from Jesus' message. I think the Church decided to just declare that it wasn't so because they wanted the focus to be on God and the message of Jesus, not whether Jesus' children should inherit the church, etc. Not princes and princesses. The masses were much simpler people back then and were used to chomping the bit of royalty. Not much education was to be had for the peasantry. So the Church, I think, just decided they'd simplify the whole thing and say that there were no children and there was no wife.

Today we look at Africa and the Middle East and we're horrified at the level of violence and mass hysteria that's embraced in those regions. Europe wasn't much different in the middle ages, I think. People were killing each other over small religious differences and the Church was a huge orchestator. Christians don't really want to look at that stuff and think about the grisly past of Christianity. Just as Islam is a religion going through its stage of extremism, so did Christianity. Look at the Crusades.

People get touchy when you mess with their religion. They've found something for them that works or that's their core beliefs and they don't want to entertain thoughts different than what they currently possess. And this betrays a lack of security about their faith. They don't want to entertain these differing thoughts because they are afraid that they make shake their own faith and beliefs and, in fact, lose their faith. The truth is, you have to think about all this stuff and let is pas over and through you, because only when you do that and still come out believing the same, can you really say that you're secure and comfortable in your faith. And you can say that because you've really thought about it and internalized it, not just swallowed what someone else has spoon fed you.

Whose Quote is this?

"I went into the marriage saying, 'He's fantastically talented, very witty, very smart. He's going to make me laugh and look good because he's so successful and, of course, he's gorgeous, sexy and handsome."

What celebrity, whose current photos scream eating disorder, said this recently about her husband?

Could it be………….

……….Madonna?

Say it ain't so!!!!

So she basically married an accessory. Wow, that must make her husband feel really good. No wonder they're having problems. And of course she's in the middle of a huge addiction problem right now, obviously, from her emaciated state.

I wonder if she finds talking about this in public to be cathartic or something. I think it's cool that she's comfortable enough to be honest in public like that. I wonder if their marriage is going to survive.

Relative Placements & Respite Care for Foster Kids in Nebraska

Well, folks, I just got a call that steamed my vegetables.

Apparently, if a relative provides respite for a foster parent who's caring for their niece or nephew or whatever, they are not paid for providing this service. It is just considered a visit.

Nice.

So the total stranger who cares for Niece when foster mom wants a break gets more consideration than I do simply because I am a relative of hers?

What total BS.

You know…it's not the money. The money helps you do fun things with the munchkin, yes. What irks me is that the attitude of the system towards relatives who want to help their vulnerable family members is horrible. They'll pay a regular foster parent $900/month, the going rate in Nebraska, if you're with an agency. But if you're the child's aunt, they pay you $262/mo. If you threaten to quit, for reasons totally not connected with money, all of a sudden you start getting money frickin' rained on you.And if you ask for more money, they give you a guilt trip. A big fat one. Everyone should be treated the same. So what they're saying is that what you do for the child is less valuable than what a regular foster parent does.

They tell you over and over that it's best for a child to be placed with his or her relatives when they enter the system. Then they treat you like persona non grata, listen to nothing you say, and try to get away with paying you as little as possible. Because you're a relative.

If that were a stand-alone fact, that relatives get paid less for helping, that wouldn't be much. But couple that with the lack of support that relatives get. When I had my niece, a social worker came to check my residence once during the process of getting my niece, and then once again when she fell off the d*mn balcony. They couldn't have cared less what happened in my residence, so long as they never heard about any of it.

I'm so tired of these people. They just take advantage of relatives left and right. This is one of the reason I couldn't stand foster parenting anymore…being treated like a glorified babysitter. You see all that propaganda about how you're going to make a difference in a child's life, but the state and their cronies absolutely don't treat you like it.

Homeowner's Associations

God bless those Homeowner's Associations.

I guess Temp is going to file liens on her neighbors' homes over like $60 of homeowner's association dues. Man she seems to really live for this stuff. She's good at it too. All that anger needs to be directed at something I guess.

I mean, Twiggy will do stuff to her -- just meddle ruthlessly in travel that I've delegated to Temp -- and Temp will just smile and say, "It's ok. Doesn't bother me! Life's too short!" Whatever lady.

One day I just couldn't listen to that sh*t anymore.

"Listen, it's ok to admit that you're angry. Really. It's perfectly reasonable for you to be unhappy about what she did. I would be. You don't need to suppress your anger, really." And then she stopped putting on the happy face. Out came how she really felt.

Finally.

And you know she ain't too happy about her husband b*tchin at her to lose weight. I think she kinda started out as his trophy wife. So she's gotta take that anger out somewhere. Husband's in control of the purse strings too. So there's no control over her own life. I feel bad.

Ah, it's so nice to figure out someone else's problems than to think about my own. What a loverly distraction. After all, I don't know how much more I can rehash all the sh*t in my life. It gets old after a while, ya know? There's not too many ways to say this stuff -- I'm fat, I'm lonely, I'm broke most of the time, and my family is a bunch of lovable people (not sure about mom) who have serious problems.

A Food I Shall Endeavor to Never Eat Again

And that food is bananas.

I may possibly add tofu.

Why would you endeavor to never eat those perfectly harmless, natural goodies again, you may wonder?

Because they produce ginormous clouds of f*ckin gas. I mean, huge. Last week after the banana debacle, I kept praying no one would come into my cubicle and breathe through their nose. Unforunately, however, people have something against being mouthbreathers. I have no idea what they have against the concept of mouthbreathing, but people invariably do, hence my prayer.

For I had been farting all day,
to the left and to the right
and I feared the scent wouldn't leave
till I had a shower that night.

Like my fart poem? I thought so.

In other news, Sister has been teaching Niece to be a lady during their visits, which Niece proudly told us.

In the context of the moment after having made that statement, consider how surprised the whole family was on Sunday when, whilst at dinner in a restaurant with the 5 year old, she suddenly pulled down her tank top and commanded us all to look at her boobies.

After gasping and almost screaming the words STOP THAT!, we recovered ourselves enough to tell her to not do that. She kept innocently blabbing on about boobies this, boobies that, and just general boobage until we found something more interesting to change the subject to.

Realizations

I woke up feeling not so hot today. I felt well enough, I guess. I felt motivated to do laundry. In fact, I even felt motivated enough to have an apple, make oatmeal, and pour a glass of milk. Motivated to clean the kitchen, though? No. Not in the least.

 

I texted my sister around 11am to find out if I could come over and do laundry. The answer came back no, because she was out with Mom. Mom got paid yesterday, apparently, because she and my sister were out getting their manis and pedis. And, predictably, Dad was at home, as usual. Alone.

 

He was home alone for much of the day yesterday too. In fact, from about 10am onward. Mom left the house at 10am and didn't come back until after work - around 12:30am. And Dad sat. At home. Alone.

 

I was getting ready to leave today somewhere around 1pm when Dad called me to tell me that he'd woken up that morning around 8am with brown mucus thrown up on his t-shirt during the night. Dark brown. And, as it turned out later, with the texture of coffee grounds. As we left the house, I kept thinking of the night at the homeless shelter, where I thought I was watching my dad die right in front of me. I wondered if this was the beginning of my dad dying.

 

I took Dad to the urgent care and they recommended that we take him to the emergency room. So Dad and I were off to the ER. He kept asking me if my mom had called. He kept asking me if she knew where we were.

 

As I think about the events that have unfolded today, I realize something. My dad still loves my mom. A lot.

 

Too bad it's not mutual. Although, I suspect that, once my dad dies, my mom will rue the times that she told my dad that she wished he'd just die.

 

We go to the ER and my mom and sister show up there. They're their usual, noisy selves. I am emotionally exhausted. I just sit there, pretty much just quiet. I wish they'd be quiet too. No such luck. The ER doc's eyes rolled when she saw them entering the room. The irritation flashed across her face, but she got it under control toot sweet.

 

Once my mom and sister showed up there, I tried to make my exit as quickly as possible. My dad was comforted by my mom's presence, however antagonistic it was.

 

I went over to my sister's and proceeded to do more laundry. I played the Sims 2 a little bit but I couldn't really get into it. I called my sister to find out the diagnosis, and got a report of probably pneumonia. I met mom, dad, and my sister back at the units' house. I beat them there and saw em pull up. Went up to the car, sister had me help carry dinner into the house. She got out of the car, Mom switched off the engine, then she noticed that her window was still rolled down.

 

Mom cursed. "Fuck!" After she got out of the car, I asked her what was wrong. "Your father just cost me over $100!"

 

"Mom, you can't be mad at someone for being sick."

 

I felt sickened by her goddamned attitude. A cold anger flowed through my mind. I looked over at my dad struggling to get out of the car. Once he finally did, he wavered on his feet. And when he started walking, his head was fuckin' bowed. He walked so slowly, it's not even funny. And she's still bitchin' to high heaven.

 

"Well, it's just lucky that I had the money in the bank!"

 

Mom and my sister walked ahead and Dad told me to go ahead. He was standing on the sidewalk, trying to pull up his pants, which were a little low. I went ahead and then I heard my sister calling for my dad in this panicked voice. "Dad? Dad?!"

 

"Calm down. He's coming. I'll go check on him." I walked back and was amazed to see how little progress he'd made toward getting to the front door. He was walking so slowly and wavering along the way. I went over to him and asked if he needed help.

 

"No, I'm fine."

 

"Come here, Dad." I took his arm and steadied him while he walked into the house.

 

He finally got into his chair and sat down. We all had some pizza and then he tried to get up. He couldn't get out of his chair. My sister had turned into a care-taking robot on PCP. She was expressing how much she was worried about him and shit so much that I finally told her to please shut up. Trust me, it wasn't normal and didn't seem genuine.

 

Yet I wondered...was she rattled by this? Was she finally opening her eyes to the fact that my dad needs more and more help? Or was she just trying to get attention and love by taking care of him? Were her actions truly motivated by a desire to help Dad, or had she found a way to earn adoration?

 

Mom obliviously continued chewing her cud. Dad had to get up and use the facilities, and he couldn't get himself out of his chair. My sister and I helped him and then it was time to talk to Mom. My sister started talking to my mom, giving her detailed instructions on how to take care of Dad. I tuned it out, but I finally had to break in.

 

"Alright, that's enough. She knows how to take care of someone. Mom, Dad has become feeble and weak and you have to take better care of him."

 

"What the hell do you want me to do, quit my job? I can't be here 24 hours a day!"

 

"You know we don't mean that. Stop being melodramatic. You know what you need to do."

 

What the fuck do I have to say to her? He's not a strapping middle aged guy who can care for himself anymore. Yet she's still stewing over his mistakes. This is an altogether different man...a man whose health is declining, who needs comfort from those he loves. Especially his wife -- the person whom he most craves it from; the person who feels less love for him than anyone else.

 

I wish I could do something to make sure my dad is well-cared for. But what can I do? I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can't live my life and do what I have to do AND be responsible for my dad. And my mom's trying to offload that responsibility onto anyone that she can. She's out of that marriage without actually divorcing him. All she has to do is take the car and leave him at home alone all day. And she has no cell phone, so he can't call her.

 

I'm gonna have to call my sponsor tomorrow and check in. I feel like something the cat dragged in. I might watch a movie before bed; I don't know. But I feel so sad inside about all of this...I hate seeing my dad treated this way; despised by the person he most craves affection from. I know that their conflicts are their conflicts, but the time to work them out of not was 10 years ago...not now when my dad's 74 and getting feebler by the day.

 

Now it's just cruelty.

Britney Spears

I am really beginning to feel sorry for Britney Spears. Every little mistake she makes that other parents make every single day is blown up to a thousand times its actual importance because she is always being followed by photographers.

Today a photo surfaced of her crying as she was holding her son after she tripped while carrying him and dropped him.

Let me share with you that, one time, I was carrying my niece to the car at night and it was icy. She was a year old and asleep in my arms at the time. I tripped and fell, and she hit her head on the ground. Hard. It was just an accident, nothing more, nothing less. I was not a bad auntie or, were I her mom, I wasn't a bad mother because of some clumsy footwork.

And babies slump over in their car seats ALL the time, trust me. They fall asleep in cars left and right; of course they do, the motion kinda rocks them to sleep.  Maybe that little one should be facing backward, but I'm not sure about that. Usually it's either weight or age, whichever comes first. In Nebraska, I think it's 1 year or 20 pounds and then you turn the seat around.

I just feel sorry for that poor girl. Yes, she's tacky, but aren't we all sometimes? I wish for her that the paparazzi would just lay off.

…and in other news…

J. Lo's finally pregnant. Wow. Haven't we been waiting for that forever? I'm happy for her.
.

General Hayden & His Wondrous Way of Speaking

Check out this off-the-cuff sentence from General Hayden's confirmation hearings:

"You get a lot more authority when the work force doesn't think it's amateur hour on the top floor," he said. "You get a lot more authority when you've got somebody welded to your hip whom everybody unarguably respects as someone who knows the business."

Now that is one guy who knows how to say things so that they won't fall flat when they get into print. I don't know about you, but when I read quotes from notable people, they often do fall flat. Especially celebriwh*res. And their consorts or concubines, whichever gender they happen to be. :)

The Da Vinci Code

Unfortunately, because of some of my beliefs, which need not be discussed here :) , I am on Coral Ridge Ministry's email list.

Occasionally they send me stuff about the issue that I'm actually concerned about, but, unfortunately, I also get a lot of 'defense' of marriage bits, anti-gay calls to action, emails about decency standards on TV, and emails about how Christians are taking it up the tailpipe left and right. Yeah, it sucks when your religion starts to fall off the top of the heap, doesn't it?

Check out what I got today:

"Friday, May 19, 2006

Dear Secretary,

Today marks the worldwide premiere of the movie version of The Da Vinci Code.

It also marks the peak of a resurgence of interest in this thrilling fiction.

+ + What Does This Mean to You?

Because this movie (and the book it is based on) excited so much public interest, it is likely you will come into contact with people who have seen the movie or read the book and are eager to talk about their experience. This is an excellent opportunity for more than just a casual conversation. This is an opportunity to share the truth about Jesus and Christianity.

The Center for Reclaiming America for Christ has put together a pamphlet of some of the most glaring factual errors in The Da Vinci Code … While their thoughts are focused on Da Vinci, give them one more piece of the puzzle; the truth! Feel free to make multiple copies. Pass them out at church, share them with your friends, offer them to moviegoers. Use your imagination."

So, what? You want me to evangelize my office? Please. Most of the people who'll go to see that movie are probably folks who are already sick of Christians getting hacked off about a blatant work of fiction, which, to my understanding, has no obligation to be factually correct, especially since it's FICTION. What's another word that starts with F and is related to the word 'fiction'? How about 'fake'? Yeah, that's right, works of fiction AREN'T completely based on FACT. Imagine that!

Oh, but one thing about The Da Vinci Code that's not fiction is the Catholic Church's relentless persecution, in years past, of groups and individuals who questioned its tenets or encouraged the masses to do so. Kinda like what religious juggernaut today? Did you say Islam? That's right.

I'm going to go see The Da Vinci Code just as soon as I'm no longer broke. I hope it's not as bad as what the critics have said.

A Good Day

I am having a good day today, for once. At last. I have been patiently awaiting a good day for a long time now.

I have been depressed, sad, angry and morose for more days than I can count right now. Sometimes I just get that way. I don't know why. I mean, the causes could be myriad, but I don't really know for sure what's going on.

I do know, however, that when my program is going well, my life feels good. However, sometimes it seems like my program gets better after I start feeling better, not the other way around. It's hard to tell. It almost seems that I have to keep bouncing off the bottom of the barrel…going through peaks and valleys weekly. I wonder what would happen if I actually tracked my moods over a period of weeks. How do you measure your moods, after all?

Oh well, who really knows the answers to this stuff? I'm overthinking, I think. ;o) But I feel bright and sunshiney today, for the first time in a while. My hair is done decently, I have my makeup on, and I'm actually working whilst at work.

Text Messaging Drives Me Nuts

As we discussed yesterday, I am a fan of words. Large words. They're just a part of me; part of the fiber of my very being. I'm not sure how this happened - some may say from reading too much; others, from reading just enough. :o) I just like words.

So, when it comes to text messaging, I am endlessly frustrated. First of all, my sentences are all pretty long and I can't bear the idea of not having proper punctuation in them. So, yes, I must have my commas, apostrophes, hyphens etc.

I am so pained whenever I have to use a 2 for 'to' or a 'thru' for 'through' or somesuch abbreviation. It reminds of reading rants and ravings from illiterate message board posters, thinking all the while, 'Why the h*ll can't people flippin' spell these days? Jaysus!"

Yeah, I know my posts are often full of missing words, typos, etc. But you gotta remember I write this stuff pretty much on the fly, as it comes out of my head, and it's not very edited. I write a lot of it at work, so I don't have the time to dedicate to making it perfect. When I do have that time available, I usually don't care about perfection anyway.

Favorite Website of the Day: Gallery of the Absurd

I absolutely love this woman's work and I think you will too. You should definitely check it out, especially if you're a gossip reader.

http://galleryoftheabsurd.typepad.com/14/

Joel and Potato

I have a pretty good sense of humor, if my family and friends are to be believed.

However, when encountered with recipients of said humor who are not the sharpest tools in the shed, my rapier wit is wasted.

What that means is that stupid people don't quite get what I'm saying. I don't know if it's because I'm a word snob who uses too many syllables in order to compensate for spending all day working in my low-level, low brain-actvity job, or if it's just because I like to hear myself talk, but I have to cop to liking words that are a little bigger than average. And phrases with more words in them. In fact, my ex mother in law told me that I was a good influence on her son, as he started speaking more intelligently during the course of our marriage. However, I'm pretty sure she changed her mind when I came home one day and announced that I wanted to divorce the little b*st*rd.

As you can imagine, I am usually fairly chatty. Usually. Unless I'm in a really foul mood. Or have been reading too much gossip about vacuous celebriwh*res (yes, that's you, Paris) and their vile, spoiled friends (ie Brandon Davis). After reading all that vitriol about Lindsay Lohan, whom I actually respect (hey, she's a good actress and she actually has a decent voice), I feel sorry for the source of it, not sorry for Lohan, whose Davis-labelled firecr*tch and seven-inch genital appendage of the female variety will now come out smelling like a rose.

Anyway, that's beside the point.

So I'm on the phone during lunch today with a friend of mine. We'll call this person Potato, as their a*s was, at the time, planted on a couch and seemed to have grown roots there. And it seems sometimes that Potato's head is not filled with stinky grey matter but is instead awash with thick, buttery, warm, delicious mashed potatoes. With buttermilk and an egg. Yummy but not smart.

Every time I talk to Potato, I just can't make good conversation. Of course, there does happen to be that little barrier, which is that Potato barely speaks. Potato may occasionally cough up a nuggest of advice, wisdom, or empath,y but, other than that, it's pretty dry. Conversation is not Potato's forte. Good friend, yet does not talk much. Hmmm.

So I'll make jokes and stuff, expecting Potato to laugh, but no chuckles are forthcoming. I'm working really hard in these conversations to try and elicit some laughter, to try and elicit SOMETHING, one friggin syllable, yet there's usually silence when I finish speaking. It's like talking to myself. I used to think that was because of me, but now I know the truth: it's because Potato has more relation to that darling root vegetable than I initially thought. Especially while in a stupor from whatever Potato's just finished doing, whether that's sleeping or relying on illegal pharmacopia.

And yet. And yet, that's still better than Joel, who can only talk about the relationship that he's currently in, currently getting out of, or currently getting into. Or the hot little waitress 12 years his junior (he's 34) whom he thinks may be flirting with him. Or how this one girl that he was seeing, who had a good career and seemed like a nice girl, wasn't fat, but was just a little heavier than he wanted. So one night while out at a steakhouse, when he saw some people he knew, he asked her to pretend to be his sister in order not to be embarrassed by her. She was smarter than he, figured it out, and promptly kicked him to the curb. Good for her.

After having written the paragraph above, I am compelled to vomit. But I already smell like fart thanks to the abundance of fiber that I consumed yesterday, so why add vomit to the existing, pure bouquet?

I think my next internet search after publishing this little work of art will be about why I have so much bloody gas lately.

I have to change Nitpicker's name now. She's too nice to be called Nitpicker. We're back to just calling her Temp.

Sooooo ridiculous!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060517/ap_on_re_us/unmarried_couples_3
Mo. Town Denies Unmarried Couple Permit

30 minutes ago

BLACK JACK, Mo. - The city council has rejected a measure allowing unmarried couples with multiple children to live together, and the mayor said those who fall into that category could soon face eviction.

Olivia Shelltrack and Fondrey Loving were denied an occupancy permit after moving into a home in this St. Louis suburb because they have three children and are not married.

The town's planning and zoning commission proposed a change in the law, but the measure was rejected Tuesday by the city council in a 5-3 vote.

"I'm just shocked," Shelltrack said. "I really thought this would all be over, and we could go on with our lives."

The current ordinance prohibits more than three people from living together unless they are related by "blood, marriage or adoption." The defeated measure would have changed the definition of a family to include unmarried couples with two or more children.

Mayor Norman McCourt declined to be interviewed but said in a statement that those who do not meet the town's definition of family could soon face eviction.

Black Jack's special counsel, Sheldon Stock, declined to say whether the city will seek to remove Loving and Shelltrack from their home.

Long Time, No Post

Hey all, to my 2 fans out there LOL, I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while, relatively speaking. I used to post much more.

But it's a little difficult to post when Nitpicker is in my cube staring at my screen while the printer's printing off the many documents she prints.

And when I say documents, I mean Sudoku puzzles, job postings at different companies, letters threatening to put liens on her neighbor's houses for homeowner's association dues, and sh*t like that.

She prints so much sh*t that she's almost always in my cubicle. I so want to just tell her that while she's in my cube, please do not stare at my screen, but I just can't bring myself to do it. These are the days when I want Twiggy back.

Also, I'm not sure I can deal with watching her trying to stuff herself into work clothes that are just too f*ckin small. It doesn't bother me that she's overweight, I mean, Lord no! What bothers me is that she won't spend any money on herself to get some new clothes. And what also bothers me about it is my sneaking suspicion that, were she to buy new clothes that actually fit her body, her a*shole husband would have a fit.

Yet, he takes her out for ice cream at night. Yeah, he's a prize.

Why this bothers me, I have no idea. Possibly because I've been in those shoes. Sometimes still am.

The Executive Assistant Maw

You know how black holes suck things in and once a planet or star or whatever has been sucked in by its gravitational pull, there's no way the suckee can get out or break free?

Well, I think Napoleon is trying to use the Black Hole effect on Twiggy.

Because he just turned down another round of candidates, including Nitpicker, for the executive assistant position.

And they are talking to Twiggy, trying to get her to take that job.

I think Napoleon's strategy is to crush all resistance and suck her into the Executive Maw back there. The theory, I think, is that if she stays back there long enough, she'll never leave.

I Love the NAACP

Schools Plan in Nebraska Is Challenged
By SAM DILLON
The National Association for the Advancement of Colored
People sued over a law that would divide the Omaha public
schools into racially identifiable districts.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/17/us/17naacp.html?th&emc=th

I'm so glad someone is stopping our idiot unicameral reps from doing this. I really just feel like minority schools would get shortchanged. The whole thing hearkens back to the separate but equal days of segregation way too much.

Boycotting Mother's Day

I boycotted mother's day today.

 

I ignored my mother (she of "You WHORE!" fame). I ignored my sister.

 

But my mom got something for my sister for mother's day.

 

Mom forgets my birthday and forgets me at Christmas and other holidays routinely, but she doesn't fail to get my sister something for mother's day.

 

Nice.

 

Not like it's a competition, but when you're the only one who seems to be trying to preserve a relationship, you get tired of it being a one-sided effort. Eventually, you give up and you get calloused and you just decide that you're tired of your efforts going unnoticed. So then you stop making efforts and getting hurt and disappointed by the lack of response on the part of the other half of the equation.

 

So you boycott Mother's Day.

 

Not really in protest or to make your presence or lack thereof felt...but because you just don't care. You feel like it's just a hallmark holiday, designed to get consumers to buy brunches, presents, flowers, and cards, and not really to appreciate mothers.

 

I wish I had  a friend to go out and just hang out with right now. I'm so bored and I'm alone and I'm listening to Joel's relationship troubles. Yeah. Fun.

What is Wrong with People?

Last night, my dad called me around 6:45ish. We talked a little and I asked him how he was.

"Oh, I'm a little despondent."

"Despondent? Why?"

"I just get tired of sittin in this house alone with nothin to do."

"Awesome." This was perfect! I needed a movie date. "Why don't you come to the movies with me? I don't have anyone to go with."

"I don't know, I should stay home." Typical. He'll call and complain but what he really wants is for me to come over there and watch TV with him.

"Come on Dad, I don't want to go alone." This was true.

"Well, what show?" Success! He's in.

"Mission Impossible III."

"That new Tom Cruise flick?"

"Yeah."

We nail down the particulars. I'm out the door in 5 minutes and we're on our way to Counciltucky shortly thereafter.

2:06 later, the movie's over and it was awesome. I don't care how crazy Tom Cruise was or is or whatever, but he's still hot and a good actor. One thing that I thought was creepy is how much his wife in the movie looked like Katie Holmes.

Dad walks outside while I stop at the ladies' room. All that pop, ugh.

I'm walking outside and I hear someone utter what sounds like a moo. What the f*ck?

I turn around and there's three young men, all snickering. I know what's happened here.

These dateless losers have decided to pick on me because I’m overweight and am unaccompanied. Somehow, it makes them feel better about their existence on this planet.

They follow me out the door, not because they're stalking the hapless fat waddler, but because they just happen to be leaving too. They're still snickering and whatnot. Probably planning to make one last crack, but once I sidle up to my dad, they die down.

In the car, I told my 74 year old dad with bad rotator cuffs, who's afraid of falling, what happened. And my dad then reminds me why he's my favorite parent.

"They're just lucky I wasn't there."

"I know Dad." Yup, that's my Dad, the Korean War-era Marine.

Later on, I forget about this idyllic moment of paternal love when we stop at a gas station at his behest, ostensibly because he needs to use the facilities. And then I see him purchasing about fifth of gin, or perhaps it was vodka. This is why I can't give up my guardianship of him just yet…because he is bound to drink himself into another stroke. He's working on it now, though he drinks less. But he's not a dry dunk; he's a damp one.

The OA person whom I am on the phone with, relating my horrific experience with the jackas*es at the movie theatre makes a hasty exist as I start to upbraid Dad about the liquor.

"Got your liquor too, huh?"

"Yep."

"Great. Well at least the guardianship is still in place for the next time you drink yourself into a stroke."

Dad starts to defend himself. I just cut him off, telling him he doesn't need to, I understand and he's a grown man, and doesn't need to justify anything to me. I tell him I still love him. It's true. Despite all the things that he's done or failed to do, I still love my dad.

I Should Totally Be a Writer

It would take an underachieving, gossipy, voyeuristic, bit of a slacker to write a genre novel capable of pulling away from the pack.

Got that quote from an article in the New York Times, http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/12/opinion/12otto.html?th&emc=th

Really? Awesome. I am so there. That's it. I'm writing a novel about my crazy, f*cked up family. Can you imagine how compelling it would be?

No?

I know. I'm not that good. Lol. I have no illusions.

Well, maybe a few….

Daughtry to Use 'Idol' As Launchpad

Check it out -- Fuel offered him a job!! Please take it Chris! Fuel is an awesome band!!!! :)

Daughtry to Use 'Idol' As Launchpad

By STEVE HARTSOE, Associated Press Writer Thu May 11, 9:35 PM ET

RALEIGH, N.C. - Getting booted from "American Idol" this week is going to launch the music career he's dreamed about his entire life, Chris Daughtry said Thursday.

He didn't have to wait long — hours later he was offered a job with the band Fuel.

"I'm a songwriter myself," the 26-year-old told reporters Thursday, one day after viewers shocked just about everyone and voted him off the TV talent show. "To be able to launch my own career would be a dream" come true.

Daughtry, who dreamed of becoming a rock star while working in the service department at a Greensboro car dealership, said he is considering whether to pursue fronting an established rock band or launching a solo career.

Then Fuel made its offer. Bass player Jeff Abercrombie and guitarist Carl Bell made their pitch on the TV show "Extra."

"Chris, if you are watching, we've talked about this before, and if you want to entertain it again we'll take it and go," Abercrombie said.

The buzz around Daughtry for weeks has been that he could end up the band's lead singer. He performed the band's song "Hemorrhage" on a recent "Idol" show.

His wife, Deanna Daughtry, said she's not sure which option he should pursue, but either way music is all he's ever wanted to do.

"He's got a lot on him and hopefully he'll have a lot of wisdom there," she said. "The public forgets so fast about those idols once they get off the show. I just hope they don't forget about Chris."

Many observers thought the shaved-head rocker from McLeansville would win this year's competition.

On Tuesday's show, Daughtry performed two
Elvis Presley songs. His rendition of "Suspicious Minds" drew strong reviews from judges.
Paula Abdul said, "See you in the finals."

Judge Simon Cowell said his second song — "A Little Less Conversation" — was "flat" and not as good as the first performance.

Daughtry, who said he doesn't regret anything he did on the show, said he was shocked to get voted off because so many people had picked him to win — which may have led overconfident fans to not bother casting votes.

"They didn't have to vote as hard, and I think that was the downfall, in my opinion," he said, refusing to critique the other three finalists. "It was definitely a gut-wrenching moment and I was not expecting it, even a little bit."

Some fans around his hometown fear their votes were mistakenly credited to one of the other contestants because they'd get another hopeful's voice thanking them for the call instead of Daughtry's, family friend Tracey Adams said.

One music industry expert said it definitely shouldn't be the end for Daughtry, who has a great opportunity to cash in as a solo artist because of the equity he's built on the show.

"I think he should definitely pursue that at this point," said Jeff Walker, president of AristoMedia, a Nashville-based company that develops and promotes music artists. "He's got a lot of people that like him."

School Bans Some Dates From Senior Prom (due to background check results)

My first reaction after reading this headline was the following:

"Are you f*ckin sh*ttin me?" This is ridiculous...

School Bans Some Dates From Senior Prom

Criminal background checks have sparked a senior prom controversy on Cape Cod after one school decided to run them on non-student dates.

NewsCenter 5's Kelley Tuthill reported that the state
Department of Education said the Dennis-Yarmouth Regional High School policy may have violated state law.

The move outraged many in the community and left about six students without dates.

Tonya Dockray, 18, and her family have already spent nearly $700 for Saturday's prom at the Cape Codder Resort in Hyannis.

"I bought a dress, purse, shawl so I don't get cold," she said.

As required, Dockray turned in a form to the school with information about her date, a 20-year-old she's been dating for three years. Last Thursday, her date was denied after failing a criminal background check.

"A couple of years ago, he was caught in possession of marijuana," Dockray said, adding he was not selling drugs. "He just had it on him."

This is the first year the school has done criminal offender record, or CORI, checks for non-student dates. Dockray's family said six applications were denied.

"Assault and battery, you know, violent crimes I understand. But this is extreme," said Dockray's mother, Angie.

The family said the school never told them that Dockray's date would be the subject of a background check.

"I think his rights were violated," Angie Dockray said. "In order to get a CORI, you have to give your approval. He never gave his approval."

A spokeswoman for the Department of Education said school districts are only supposed to CORI volunteers and employees.

Dockray is hopeful this story will have a happy ending.

"Every girl wants to go to the senior prom. Finding out you can't go with the person you want to is awful. I don't want to go alone," she said.

This is the first year the school district has administered the criminal records checks. In a statement released late Tuesday afternoon, the district said it's reviewing its policies to make sure none of them violate any state laws.

I'm Alone...Nitpicker's Gone

And thank God.

Yeah, I'm still a little paranoid. I think she might have seen my post the other day about her overeager attitude. Yes, I have to confess, I reread my postings; usually looking for little mistakes and trust me, there's lots. Mimi impresses me; so does Derek. There's never those little boo boos in their posts.

I'm bored, so I would like to consume this green apple, but I do not want it because I still feel full from lunch. I just can't bring myself to eat it. Holy cr*p, did I just type that I can't bring myself to eat something? Why, I believe that I did indeed. Yes, I AM feeling better.

Got some toys for Niece for the weekend. I had the feeling whilst at Wal-Mart that this possibly was not a good idea, as the little mongrel may start thinking that every weekend is Christmas at Auntie Secretary's apartment.

Ponder this, then read on:

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

So, in Program, we make a list of every wrong we've ever done, either to ourselves or another person. We examine all sorts of stuff when we make this list. All our secrets go in this list.

Then we share it with another person.

Can I share something really honestly with you?

I am a total gossip hound and, in my heart of hearts, I can't wait to be someone's sponsor just so I can hear all this stuff! Man! Won't that be cool? Just to know that someone else's stuff is worse than yours! Just to be entertained!!!!

Yeah.

Hence why I'm not a sponsor yet. Because I'm not ready. Our sponsors do not, I repeat, DO NOT think that way. And before I'm ready to be a sponsor, I will need to have the right motives. I have a long way ahead of me before I'm ready for this. These kinds of thoughts are part of the reason why.

But you gotta admire the honesty it takes to admit that the cockles of my heart do a little jig when I think about hearing someone else's deepest, darkest secrets. I mean, why do you think so many people 'tune in' to PostSecret every frickin' week? Duh.

The US is Weaker than China

See article: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/11/washington/11china.html?th&emc=th

U.S. Won't Press China Over Yuan

Article Tools Sponsored By
By STEVEN R. WEISMAN
Published: May 11, 2006

WASHINGTON, May 10 — The Bush administration said on Wednesday that although it was "extremely dissatisfied" with China's refusal to allow its currency to fluctuate more freely, it would not cite China as a currency manipulator and provoke a confrontation over the issue.

My statement that the US is weaker than China does not flow from economics or weapons or any of that.

It flows from us being afraid to provoke a confrontation over an issue that we think is important. We've been cowtowing to China for years now, refusing to revoke Most Favored Nation trade status even though China's human rights abuses are the stuff of legends.

Why? Because China is on track to become an economic juggernaut. In fact, it already is.

India is too, but at least it's a democracy.

I just have a feeling that America is on the decline in terms of its world domination, and the new superpowers are going to be nations like China and India. Watch and see.

Britney Spears

Well, out here in the blogosphere, everyone is abuzz about Britney's new pregnancy.

 And I don't mean to pick on her…everyone else can do that.

But why is it that her reading skills are so bad? She totally acted like an airhead last night on Letterman. She couldn't read the word Tamiflu…and hasn't heard the word enough in our bird-flu obsessed and flu vaccination culture to know what it was. She just answered questions like she didn't have a clue about anything and not only that, dressed wildly inappropriately. That joke she made fell completely flat and seemed incredibly inappropriate.