Who? you say?
Twiggy.
Well, she hates me. I can't say that I hate her. I didn't rat her out because I dislike her. I ratted on her because I HAD to, otherwise, the peanut butter that is the embodiment of the Taint of Error would have splashed onto me and I have had enough Taint lately, thank you. I mean, remember my performance appraisal, which by all accounts was a disaster?
I heard her on the phone this morning. She said my name in conversation and then later goes, "Who does she think she is?" Well, Twiggy, I think I'm smarter than you, get paid more than you, and have way more repsonsibility than you in 1/3 of the time you've been with the company. What's really sad is that I have more ambition than you, and what's sad about that is that I have very little ambition.
If only I were better at pretending to personally like someone whom I have nothing in common with and whom I think is petty. Hmmm...that's probably the pot calling the kettle black, but let me have my delusions! (After all, the purpose of this blog is to be an outlet, right?) I wish I could be strong enough to consistently be her sounding board, listen to her pity parties constantly, commiserate endlessly about misplaced collections calls, misplaced HR calls, all misplaced calls.
But unfortunately I'm one of those people who's like, "How much more can we say about this? There's nothing new to say, so why bother?!" I wish I was better at hiding my impatience to get back to my work (yes, I do indeed spend the lion's share of most of my days on work) and following up on watching Dancing with the Stars and American Idol so that I'd have something in common with her, some shared experience other than answering 100 Geico calls a day. I wish I could bring myself to kiss her ample rear end more ardently, but I just can't bring myself to do it. If only I were more ambitious, then maybe I could. I just can't work myself up to convince her that she is the center of my work world and that I would do anything for her.
I know she is ticked because Supervisor and I discussed amongst ourselves the problem with her taking lunch whenever she felt like it and we decided that a change was in order. I've been taking late lunch, alone, for 3 years now, and so has Supervisor. And what's more, Twiggy usually ends up going when I'm supposed to be leaving my desk for lunch.
What is the big deal with lunch times? Let me explain a little bit about how this works: there are basically two lunch cliques, for lack of a better word, in my office: those who go at 11:30 (early lunch) and those who go at 12:30 (late lunch). Almost everyone goes at 11:30 unless they have some appointment or something. They are all salespeople, so going to lunch with them is great fun; they have razor sharp senses of humor and great stories, the whole nine years. They also are very well-mannered people and I'm sure you know what a pleasure it is to go out with people who are well-mannered. They make you feel like you've been treated like a million bucks.
The other benefit of early lunch is rock-star parking. At my building, parking is terrible, unless you get here at the crack of dawn. I of course do not, and when I go to lunch at 12:30, I similarly get hosed out of good parking and must walk a considerable distance. Yes, the walking is good for me, but it's February in the midwest, people! It's cold! I don't want to feel healthy; I want to stay warm!
You can see why 11:30 is the desired lunch time.
But only one of us can have that lunch time. It's either me or Twiggy, and, for 3 years now, it's been Twiggy. That's when she's SUPPOSED to go, anyway, though she rarely does so. And no one really cares when she goes...no one's going to freak cause she's not available. Not so for me, though. I need to be gone when my people are gone, because then they won't miss me and I'll be back when they're back.
So, in accordance with discussions that Supervisor and I have had recently regarding lunch and Twiggy, Supervisor told Twiggy that we are going to begin rotating lunch schedules. One week, Twiggy and Napoleon's EA will have early lunch, and the next week, Supervisor and I will have it.
Supervisor stopped by last night to tell me this and she told me that Twiggy was not very receptive. Not realizing that Twiggy hadn't left yet, as she wasn't in her cube, I said, "When is she receptive to anything?" a little loudly. Not two seconds later, Twiggy comes walking out of the dang copy room. I think Supervisor also thought that she was gone, because she kinda blanched and quieted down.
So, now we are back to where we started. We hardly speak. I guess I should have left well enough alone and not begun speaking to her more. This is not a person that I can really befriend.
But I don't think that's my fault. I think it's more because Twiggy is someone who should have moved on long ago. My commiserating with her about the wrongly directed calls opened up a torrent of frustration. It was greatly more than what I expected, which made me think that she's been frustrated for a long time. She is someone who's been underappreciated and underemployed for so long that it's ground her down, I think.
Believe me, without Twiggy, this office would soon cease to function. I wonder if she's ever thought about demanding a raise. You should see all the travel she does. It's freaking crazy. She's an expert. I'm not sure I should encourage her, though. That could open up a whole other can of worms.
No comments:
Post a Comment