The Company's Own Field of Dreams

Before I spin my tale of the latest 'drama' in the office, allow me to introduce you to the company's Field of Dreams.

When I first started working here about 3 years ago, the Company was busy building a technological marvel that shall remain nameless. We'll just call it the Field of Dreams, because the thought at the time was this: If you build it, they will come.

And come they have. We hold countless client visits and meetings in that space. The upstairs conference rooms, which are nicely appointed in leather and have built-in electronic gadgetry and have wood furniture that looks like burled mahogany but is constructed cheaply using veneers, etc., are hardly ever used for client meetings anymore.

The not so new anymore techno wonder consists of one part where people actually work and another part where people have meetings in fancied up conference rooms with movie theater sound, amazing bass, super futuristic-looking tables and chairs (you see them in movies a lot these days), abstract but subdued art, wall panels, and a ginormous flat panel projection TV. We show presentations and the company's marketing film there. The atmosphere in that area is so rarefied that only client visits and executive meetings may take place there. No internal meetings for the commoners allowed!

This new appendage tacked on to the side of the company's already nondescript-looking headquarters building was a boon to the sales people and us, the secretaries, too. The kitchen was nicely done and built centrally to the 3 conference rooms, which makes it pretty easy to serve lunches, set out drinks, and clean up. There's a pass-through to the main conference 'cavern' (it's huge, as conference rooms go), which overlooks the part where people actually work.

The section of the appendage where people actually work has about, oh, 25 monitor cubes built into the wall so they can monitor all sorts of stuff. Each of those cost an exorbitant amount of money. The figure $85,000.00 is sticking in my head, but that seems unreasonable. Which is why it's probably correct.

This new showcase of company technology was presented to all the employees. We were all given tours as though the company had built a new Disneyland. But, despite the sarcasm displayed here, we were all suitably impressed at the wanton outlay of money for technology and the vision it took to build this monstrosity. I was mostly impressed because they were showing Star Wars Episode II.

Clients seem impressed by it too. Sign ups for tours of this thing never cease. They watch a company film in the main conference room, and when the dog and pony show ends, then the curtains open up from the center, of their own accord, to show the highly technological nerve center of the company. The company film has this weird scene where this cute chick is rolling around on a bed while on the phone with some handsome guy. People joked about it a LOT when they first debuted it.

There are flat panel monitors that show in big bold letters when the drones can expect tours to come through and when they can expect to have clients watching them. That way no one's caught wolfing down doughnuts and talking with their mouth full should an executive prospect happen by. Nor are they guffawing at the latest dirty joke or burping loudly or farting at a time when clients can hear them through the glass separating their workplace from the Executive conference room. When clients are nearby, the workers in those rooms are paragons of breeding and manners.

My department has the say so about who can have a tour and who can't. We do the scheduling. I just wish we could put the supplies down there under lock and key, because an ice bucket disappeared recently. Who the h*ll wants an frickin' ice bucket? Probably the drones in client services. I don't trust em. LOL

Clients and new hires are all duly impressed with this crown jewel of a conference space. Everything about it whispers 'I'm expennnnnnnnnnnsivvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve…"

Which brings me to my next post.