Call Disposal

Today I'd like to talk to you about a little thing that I call "Call Disposal".

Twiggy is our receptionist (please pray for her). Call Disposal is something that I am faced with daily, either because Twiggy's shooting the sh*t on the phone with someone about something non-business related and can't be bothered, or because I don't have enough to do so I offer to take her calls so she doesn't go postal on us one day out of frustration.

Our company has grown by leaps and bounds since I joined the family. We've acquired and acquired and this is a problem sometimes, because we acquired one line of business that I particularly consider distasteful, and that is Collections. Yuck.

Well, collection agencies are nasty places. Ours is probably run a little better than most though because, well, its parent company has oodles of money and has invested in technology up the ying yang.

Naturally, after we acquired this line of business, which I will call PITA Company (pain in the a**), we started getting calls from debtors. They are all perplexed and frustrated because PITA doesn't want to talk to them. Right now. We have to give out a ph# that gives callers one option only: leave a message and we'll call ya back, loser. So these unfortunates keep calling us, because as a Sales department, you know we're gonna answer the phone. Leave no stone unturned, right?

So we regularly get all these misplaced calls. I love to 'dispose' of them.

"ABC Nuts and Bolts Sales and Marketing"

"Yeah, I found somethin' on ma credit repawt and I don't know where it come from. It says PITA Company, which I found on dat internet is yer company, and I wanna talk ta someone right now! Or I'll sue yas!!! And what's yer name, cuz I'm gonna sue you too!!!"

"It's Secretary. That's S-E-C-R-E-T-A-R-Y. You've reached sales and marketing and we can't help you here. Let me give you PITA's number."

"Is dat da one where ya gotta leave a message? That's no way to do business and I won't leave a message! I wanna talk to yer legal depawtment!"

A smile appears in my voice while talking to this 'special' person to whom the rules do not apply. Relief! "Ohhhh, ok! I'll be happy to transfer you! One moment please!" Problem solved.

So I blind transfer this caller who thinks he's so special. They alllll think they're special. What does 'blind transfer' mean? It means I transfer the call and don't let the admin over there know what's headed for her. :o) Her phone rings, she picks up, and she is now talking to the 'special' caller.

Hey, the Legal department is the one that thinks transferring PO'd callers to a voicemail is a great solution, so let them deal with it.