So Niece has been staying with me this week because her foster family is on vacation. It's been a good week with only a couple of problems. Man her behavior is so much better. It's pretty hard to keep her away from the damn TV though. Niece may be placed with me as her foster mom, but that will depend on what happens with Niece's mother's formal objection to that placement. Why she is objecting, I don't know…the only reason I can surmise is that she's just very angry and thinks the world revolves around her. I guess that's just another thing I can't control. Such is life.
I got to daycare yesterday to pick her up and the lady watching the kids had a few things to tell me.
"Did anyone mention anything to you about her visit today?"
"Nope." I looked at her expectantly, with a sweet little smile on my face. "Do tell."
"Well, I guess she called her mom 'Secretary' a couple of times and mom got really angry."
"Uhoh." I smiled inwardly. That's bad; I shouldn't do that. It's pretty infantile to smile at someone's misery like that, even if they've hurt you through and through. Let my sister act like an overgrown child all she wants; I don't need to participate in that. One step closer to the crazy sandbox...
"And I guess she also told her mom that she was staying with you and mom got really angry and called her caseworker immediately." Big surprise there.
"And when it was time to leave [to come back to daycare], Niece crawled under the kitchen table and wouldn't come out. Driver threatened to call the police and she still wouldn't come out. She didn't come out until she saw him actually dial the numbers." Why didn't her mother crawl under the table and GET her out?
Niece went and got her stuff and we happily left. We had a good evening together last night. I didn't bother talking to her about what happened except to ask her if her mommy was angry that day, and she said no. I asked her that only so that, in the event her mother had shown her anger to Niece, then I could assure Niece that it wasn't her fault. It can't be easy for Niece to be in the middle of this.
I don't know what to say to Niece when I hear about this kind of stuff on her visits. Niece knows the behavior isn't ok, I just think she doesn't know how to deal with the constant upheaval she must experience when she's going to Mommy's house and then has to leave again. She needs a permanent place to live really badly. There are always issues at my house when it's time for her to go back to the foster home. I think she constantly feels like she doesn't belong there. It can't be easy for her to know that she's a houseguest and not a family member.
I hope this ends soon, for everyone's sake.
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