Nervous

God I am so nervous today. I have the adoptive homestudy tonight and tomorrow night at 7pm. I'm so tired, I wish I could cancel it and just go home and sleep.

Dad had to go the ER last night -- he's got pneumonia again. Just great. I don't even want to know how much this ER trip will cost. We walked out of the ER to go home and he didn't go two steps before fishing out his pack of cigarettes and lighting up. He was really jonesing for a cigarette while in the ER. Those stupid things are going to be the death of him.

Additionally, Niece's counsellor called and I guess now I'm going to have to meet with her on Monday to talk about Niece because 'there's a lot going on with her'. Mum was the word though, it seemed. She didn't say much. Of course, the world revolves around me, so I think that she must think I'm guilty of something. Of course, that can't really be true because I don't see her enough to be guilty of anything.

Perhaps I shouldn't have taken Niece to dinner with my mom and dad. She kept doing stuff in the backseat, and my dad gave her a couple small slaps on her leg or something. She wasn't hurt by any means, but it had a strong feel of inappropriateness. I feel guilty about it - like it was my fault because we were hanging around my parents, which the counsellor may view as a mistake. Overall, things went well Saturday night, but there were a couple of bumps in the road.

I think I need to talk to the counsellor pretty urgently. I am going to move the home study to tomorrow night and go see the counsellor tonight. I want to know what's up and it seems pretty urgent if she wants to see me in person. Initially, she wanted to see me tonight. She's not usually like that.