…and I haven't figured out why.
Most of it is directed at Twiggy, but if I could say what was really on my mind, almost everyone that crosses my path would feel the sting of barbs flying from my mouth.
Twiggy is a really strong personality and she gets on my nerves regularly. She doesn't answer her phone, walks away from her desk for long spaces of time without telling me anything (and then I get stuck with her phones), does things….
Oh never mind. That certainly is not what's really bothering me.
No, I think the problem is that I went and checked my sister's 'timeline of my case' document and re-read all the lies she wrote about me on it. My emotions say, "Call her and b*tch her out!" My head says, "Why are you reading that nonsense?"
Why AM I reading this stuff? Usually, I check to see if she's updated it. But why? Probably because it's interesting to see what her *real* take is on what's going on. She's so nice to me to my face. She's all sisterly and stuff.
It's good to be reminded that she cannot be trusted. But why should I need that reminder? Facts stare me in the face. I guess I just want so very much to have some kind of relationship with family that I keep thinking they're going to magically change.
Sometimes I feel really possessive of Munchkin. If my dad calls and wants to know how she is, I feel like he's questioning my parental abilities. If my sister asks…same thing. I don't want to "share" her with anyone. This makes no sense; she is not my favorite toy. Perhaps I feel territorial because I feel that she needs protection from these people. I don't know…guess it doesn't matter much.
I just can't wait to leave here and go pick up Munchkin. And go to my meeting tonight. I need to get this off my mind.
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