Saturday, August 05, 2006

Midnight Projects

Niece is not goth by any means. First off, she's five. This would preclude her being goth.

However, the furniture that a certain kind soul gave us free of charge would seem to indicate that she is, as it's 99% black.

That doesn't really compute with my idea of what a little girl's bedroom should look like, so it's time forrrrrrrrrrrr....

A Midnight Project!
What is our project this weekend?
*
Why, it's painting Niece's glossy black dresser white. I have been told that this would take too much time and effort, therefore I HAD to do it.
*
So how do you paint a glossy black dresser white? First you spend about $40 at the hardware store. That'll cover your vinyl gloves, paint, primer, paintbrush, drop cloth (unless you have a garage or easy access to the outdoors. I live in a third floor apartment.), sand paper, mint gum, and I forget what else.
*
Then you wait for the five year old to go to bed after you read her, "I Know a Lady Who Ate a Whole Pie", an OA fairy tale. More on that later.
*
Next, you turn on Saturday Night Live, lay out your drop cloth where you can still see and hear the TV, and start sanding away. You're just roughing it up, so don't go overboard. Discover that your glossy black dresser was at one point green (are you shittin' me?) and feel buoyed by the knowledge that you're not the first person to paint this monstrosity.
*
Everything's sanded and now you have toxic black dust all over yourself. Now you can prime the dresser. Use Kilz spray primer. The fumes are negligible. No, I'm not high. I'm just very happy.
*
Finish off the drawers and then run out of Kilz.
*
Curse yourself for not listening to the incredibly pretty, girly hardware girl and buying an extra can. Shit! Well, how were you supposed to know that she actually knew what she was talking about? Don't judge a book by its cover, you say? Did I hear you correctly? Don't sass me motherfucker! Go to somebody else's blog!
*
Just kidding about that. :o) Wink wink.
*
That's all for tonight folks. Should be interesting to see what we get done tomorrow night when we finish priming and then actually paint.
*
My end goal is to finish painting this thingy and then replace the knobs with glass ones so it'll look way more girly. :o) I always dreamed of having a girly bedroom when I was a kid, and so I think'll it be cool to give that gift to Niece. Hopefully, she won't suddently discover that she's a total tomboy and start demanding borders with cars and trucks.
*
Hmmm...why do I have this feeling that I'm getting way more benefit out of this project than Niece is? :o)

No comments: