Why Am I Awake at About 6AM on a Sunday Morning?

One word: stress

If you're in debt
and you know it,
cry your tears
(weep weep)

If you're in debt
and you know it,
cry your tears
(weep weep)

If you're in debt
and you know it
then your purse
will surely show it

If you're in debt and you know it, cry your tears...

My financial house of cards has collapsed, and I don't have the slightest shred of a clue on how I'm going to fix it. Well, I guess I have a shred. Sell some MK, get a PT job. BF suggested waitressing. I guess I could do that...I could do anything for 2 weeks, which is how long I figure I'd need to work in order to get some money and get myself out of this debt.

Keep in mind...I'm not talking about credit cards. I wiped all those out in bankruptcy. :) I'm talking about the lure of those 'we'll hold your check until payday' places. I'm talking about being a total spendthrift, which is what my ex-husband (accurately) called me in court papers. Loverly.

I grew up like this. When payday came, we lived 'high on the hog' as my dad liked to say. But right before payday and almost immediately after, our lives were a miserable, stressful existence. Bills went unpaid, we hid from the utilities man, the bill collectors called, you name it. Children really do learn what they live. Mom and Dad robbed Peter to pay Paul, and now I'm doing the same.

BF says I can change and that he will help me to figure out how to get myself out of this mess. How can he be so understanding? Why would he even want to understand, let alone tie himself in matrimonial bliss forever to me, when I'm such a wreck, financially and otherwise? My greatest fear is that he will get tired of it one day soon and then he'll decide he's had enough and up and leave. Because where is the benefit for him? Where? I don't see any. Yeah we have fun together, yes we love eachother, but what else? Well, I guess I don't have to figure that out, since I have no control over someone else's actions, right? Yep.

Moving right along, Phrecklette will be up in less than 2 hours and I've gotten no sleep. How am I going to take care of her?

Well, another day begins, and this day, I am going to have to call and talk to the Bank's loss prevention department. Do you know what that code stands for? "Anti-theft Department". That's what it really means. And what that also means is that my poor, poor spending habits have now gone so far down the sewer that they've turned me into a veritable thief. Loverly.

Part time employment bliss, here I come. Dangit, I really liked that bank. Oh well. Could be worse...but I'm not quite sure how.