And in Other News...

I may not be letting Phrecklette go as promised. A new caseworker has been assigned and this one actually seems to give a damn. For one thing, she's not going to have that whackjob therapist of my sister's doing family therapy. Thank God. If Phrecklette will be leaving foster care in the next 30-60 days, then I have no problem keeping her.

However, BF would definitely have problem with it. I know we are supposed to be building a life together and working on 'us', and I don't want to lose him. But don't I have to do what my conscience dictates? And right now, my conscience dictates that if it's only going to be another month or two until Phrecklette can just go home, why should she be exposed to the pain and feeling of abandonment that being moved to a stranger's home would surely expose her to? BF says she's adaptable, but I just think that it is a scary prospect to do that without some kind of good reason. Saving myself and the sanity that I've achieved - yes that is a good reason. But when I know it's only going to be another 30-60 days, anyone can endure that, right?

Meanwhile, BF is counting the days. I don't blame him. Yes it would be so much fun to have it just be us. It would be great for us to just be adults and create our own family. Of course it would. But then, he is not bonded to Phrecklette like I am. She is like my daughter.

I remember the first time she went back to her mom. She kept asking me if she could come home and live with me. I wanted to say yes so badly!!!! But I couldn't. I just don't want to go through that again.

Well, this caseworker seems good and she and I will meet with D and her therapist soon. After that meeting, I will know more.