I'm in a financial house of cards...

and it could collapse at any moment. Man I am so bad with money. I have got to do something about this. I wish I could just pay someone else to manage my bills and give me an allowance! Because I KNOW that I *should* have more than enough money to take care of everything, yet I find myself struggling. UGH!!!

Last night I went a little psycho on poor BF. I don't know why he puts up with me. Basically, he and I have a difference of opinion on whether Phrecklette should see a counsellor. My thought is heck yeah she should. I mean, look what she is dealing with during her formative years! I grew up in the same kind of environment and it does a number on you, no doubt. What can it hurt?

He absolutely despises her counsellor. He met her one time and because she couldn't 'sell' herself to him and explain the 'model' she was going to use to help Phrecklette, he was like, "ok, she is a crackpot." I thought she seemed just fine and she does seem to help Phrecklette, I guess.

Well, ok, I don't see how she really does anything for Phrecklette. But the changes could be happening inside of that child...and how much help is she going to need when she's back with her mom? And how much help is she going to need with the transitions that are going to be happening soon in her life? They are huge transitions. No more preschool, no more la Phreckle, just home with Mommy all the time.

Anyway, I am HUGELY sensitive to the issue. And I don't know why. It doesn't make any sense. Maybe it's the way he goes about proving his points, but honestly, does a 4 yr old need therapy? Does she really NEED it? And if she does, how much of that does she need? He worries that this is going to make Phrecklette dependent on therapy and pills for the rest of her life.

He may have a point there...I mean, if I hadn't stopped seeing my therapist, I'd have been going forever, with no end in sight. She even mentioned that some people keep going forever for 'maintenance' therapy. And she didn't like me going off of antidepressants. I am so glad I did though. On both counts.

Well, I think that BF may be right. But Phrecklette is not my child, and I have to do what they tell me I need to do. I will continue taking her to the therapy, because I know she will need it when she goes home to Mommy dearest. And the therapist will be able to monitor what is going on with Deirdre and will be able to report anything she sees going awry. So I will not have to do as much watching. That will be helpful. But I will not tell BF that I am taking her.

But you know I can't figure out why BF would want to continue to be with me, I was so crazy last night! It really was ridiculous. And I did treat him terribly. I have to stop doing that, or I am going to lose him.