On the Shrink Again...

Well, my pants are looser and I am making better choices. It won't be long before we see me losing weight again. Yay. :)

That priest yesterday was right. What difference is it if Phrecklette is there or not? She was just an excuse for me to go back to my old ways. I should be able to lose weight with her there or not! I really let myself slide, but Phrecklette should be a reason to improve myself, not an excuse. There's no reason in the world why I can't make healthy food and exercise choices with her present. I can and I will! That's my responsibility…Phrecklette and my own health, my own life.

I saw my sister's apartment last night. It is not in a good neighborhood. Everyone around there is extremely poor and the apartment is very shabby. It reminds me of my old apartment, but it's a little bit better. The stairs will be good for my sister's weight, but I am worried. I am trying not to be, but I am. The worst thing right now is that there's no hot water at this time. I think they probably have it shut off temporarily while it's unoccupied, but I hope they are not ghetto landlords.

BF won't help her move, either. Well, not quite true…he will help her, but only if she pays him $50 for him and for his friend ($100) instead of the $60 he originally agreed to. I won't even tell her about it. It's just shameful that he'd try to take advantage of her like that, and I don't want my family to know how he's behaving.

It's sounding more and more like I should break up with BF, isn't it? It's so hard to let go of how good things are usually…we really get along wonderfully. He does special things for me, the whole nine yards. And that's not a honeymoon period thing…that's an every day thing. He normally is pretty darn easy to get along with. I can't count the nights we've spent laughing and smiling and having fun together. But when he gets stressed out, look out.

I know that men aren't fixer-uppers, but I am seeing now how it is that women will try and try and try. I can't marry him while he's like this…he has to figure out how to get a hold of himself. But what about the times that I freak out? I'm not necessarily any better at handling stress than he is.