Monday, March 20, 2006

I Intensely Dislike Working with Peanut Butter

Peanut Butter has resumed sending me those ridiculous letters again. Ugh. How I hate these stupid letters. People who happen to see them on my desk and read them just shake their heads at how stupidly they are written. I hate being associated with these retarded things, but that guy just will not listen. I wish he'd forget my email address. I wish I lived in Baldur's Gate and had a Thief's Cloak that would turn me invisible whenever I wanted. It would be nice if that cloak were accompanied by a potion that would melt away all my blubber too. Please God? No? Ok, then I shall rant some more...

Anyway, I am working on doing what's in front of me, not avoiding or procrastinating - just doing. So I got those letters from Peanut Butter and went ahead and did them. Yippy skippy.

The next problem with this little system is that Peanut Butter won't just sign the d*mn things. They will lay and lay and lay on my desk and not be signed until I end up just throwing them out. After all, if the idiot doesn't want them sent out without his own signature on them and then doesn't come up to sign them, how important can they frickin' be? Not very.

So after I've thrown the damn things out because he didn't bother to come up and sign them, then he will email me asking about what date they were sent out. What? You never signed them, you pock-marked cretin! So I just say, "These letters were sent out this date (the ones you miraculously managed to sign) and you haven't recently asked for any letters to be sent to this company." I know perfectly well that he's referring to the older letters, but I also know that he'll just send me a new batch if I say this. He doesn't keep track. At all.

The ways to avoid giving him data showing that the letters never went out are myriad. Such gems as what I'll list here are just the easiest ones to use when dealing with someone who doesn't understand spelling let alone technology:

1. I don't know. My database became corrupted and I lost data. (Used this one recently. Its new incarnation? "My database doesn't go back that far. I only keep the data just far enough back to be able to tell you I don't know for whatever date you're asking about.")

2. I can't find the files on the H drive. This works well as he is not that passionate about this stuff. So he's not going to be all, "WELL WHY NOT?"

You probably are thinking, if you're thinking -- why don't you just tell him the truth? The answer is because he doesn't want to hear it. This has been a persistent problem with this particular gent and I've tried telling him, well you never signed the letters. The tacit response to that one…"Why didn't you chase me down and make me sign them?" The answer to that - unspoken but understood? "I'm not your babysitter!"

Well today I did chase him down. And as he left my cube, he muttered under his breath, "Jeez, get off my back." He didn't intend for me to hear this, which was obvious as he was behind my cube wall, which is about 5.5 feet tall and he was muttering. So I go, "I heard that!" Loudly. LOL.

Hmmm…I feel tired. I hope Twiggy leaves her desk so I can filch a diet pepsi from the Filching Fridge. :o)

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