BF finally got to me. I emailed Phrecklette's caseworker and told her I need to be done by October 22. She emailed me back asking why. And I realized, I don't really want to do this, but I feel forced to because of the way BF is acting about it. I don't even feel like this is the right thing to do.
I don't care if it's unhealthy…YES I feel like I am that child's mother! I've raised her for going on more than half of her life and I love her like she's my own. And now she's starting to call me mommy more and more which is making me fall in love with her more and more. Even thinking about it right now, I just want to lay down and bawl my eyes out.
Aren't I going to resent BF for making me do this eventually? When the day comes and she leaves, I know that I'm not going to feel like this is right…I'm not going to feel like this is what I want to do. I should communicate this to him so we can get this out in the open.
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