Just a wee little posting before I jump into the pre-vacation marathon work session.
Crappy MP3s
So I joined the little music clubby thingy right? Yeah. Ok, so I got about 7 CDs from them, that was loverly. It's so nice to have new music again. Yay! I'm a veteran of the Napster era, where there was a download free-for-all, and am now getting used to the idea of buying CDs again. The Napster era, I believe, had some good side effects. There's the mainstream acceptance of the MP3 (and many other compressed) music format. Then there was the invention of those little MP3 players. Napster made the music industry change faster than it would have liked to. I think the industry found that it had to become more responsive to what consumers wanted.
The other little side effect is that more CDs now boast more than one or two good songs. Even Carrie Underwood's. Her whole CD is something you could listen to and not be like, this CD f'in sucks and I wish I hadn't bought the whole d*mn thing. I think the music industry is working harder to get consumers to buy the whole enchilada. Especially now that you really can get just the songs you like. You needn't waste your money on buying a CD full of cr*p. And you don't have to go and buy a bunch of CDs with just one or two songs on them.
Anyway, back to the cr*ppy MP3s. So I encoded the new music and put it on a CD to listen to at work. Much easier than carrying around 7 CDs. Unfortunately, I didn't set my settings right and ended up with low-quality MP3s. So I can't really hear all the details of the music. Of course, that could also be because I can't really turn up my work puter's speakers too loud. But I think it's mostly the quality of the file. With a good MP3, you can hear everything pretty well whether you have your speakers turned up or not. So I flubbed that up. I should have tweaked the Bladeenc settings. Bummer.
A Lot Like Love
I finished watching this movie last night. It was awesome. Funny right up to the last minute. I definitely recommend it.
Feminine Wiles
I thought that with my weight gain, I probably didn't have any of these left. But I must have some left after all. Either that or I'm just very full of myself.
I went to my weekly meeting last night and there was this guy there. He is a regular at the meeting. I don't usually sit by guys. It's not because I don't like guys. It's because I like them too much. My secret fear is that a guy is going to give me a hug, I'm going to forget whom I'm hugging, and do something incredibly stupid. Like, for example, putting my fingers in the hair at the back of their neck or something. Completely inappropriate. I wouldn't intentionally do it, either. I would just forget where I am and who it is that I'm hugging. I had a slip like that one time and I don't wanna repeat it. It felt muy icky.
Anyway, I sat next to a guy last night. I do not normally sit next to guys. Nor do I usually hug them after the meeting. And we accidentally touched a few times. Nothing freaky. Just what happens when you sit next to someone. The thing is that I didn't mind. Ugh. And then after the meeting, I was the first person that he wanted to hug. And then he was all, "It was nice sitting next to you." I just sorta mumbled something on auto pilot and walked off.
Guys have nothing to fear from me right now; especially guys at meetings. A) I'm not dating and B) that is not an appropriate place to look for someone to date anyway. Know what I mean?
And you know, that interaction probably does not mean anything like what *I* think it means. It's just that I am on edge about this stuff right now. I hate these feelings.
I know that I'm uncomfortable with just being a single woman. I've always thought that having a boyfriend gave you worth. Of course, it does not do anything of the sort. It has nothing to do with a person's worth. But, as soon as I became aware that having a boyfriend was desirable, I always thought that that was one thing I wouldn't have, because I was chubby. I bought the lie that men only desire skinny women hook, line, and sinker. So, naturally, I thought it was something that I had to get on top of right now, and work pretty hard at acquiring and then maintaining. That's why a year off from dating is good for me. It might take more than a year, frankly.
No comments:
Post a Comment