Of Booze-Addled, Company-Paid-For Limo Rides

So we had the College World Series in town, right? I hate the College World Series. Yes, it's a great tourist event, yippy skippy.

But it litters South Omaha all up. I also hate the sun, and Rosenblatt is soaked in sun when the Series is here. I'm surprised more people don't come away from that event with sunburns. I mean, what I'm saying is that I'm surprised that the entire sales and marketing staff doesn't come back to work imbued with a neon pink skin tone at the end of the dang thing. We always make a big 'do out of the event. We have a tent and valet parking for our guests, and we just pull out all the stops.

Well, a certain client was coming in for a visit last week, and they *really* wanted to impress this client. So I had to get a limo for them. No problem, no big deal. The 8 passenger limo wasn't good enough though. They needed a 12 passenger limo. So I call up the limo service, the same one with that garish stretch Hummer, and order up a 12 passenger limo. Great. That was last week.

So the VP that wanted the limo and whatnot comes up here and I, wanting to know how my reservation went and whatnot, making sure the limo company did as I told them to, asked how it went.

"Oh, you know how it went!" He sounds derisive.

"No, I don't, I swear!"

"Oh. Well, we ended up stuck at Taco Bell at 1am."

Typical sales and marketing story. Always soaked in liquor. Especially for this particular product line. The people who use this particular line are rather rough and tumble (read: entrepreneurial). That is, they know how to have a good time. The liquor flows at every convention these people go to. So of course, I know this is going to be a good story. After laughing a little bit, I ask for more detail.

"Well, the limo couldn't make the turn in the drive through and ended up beached on the curb. So we got every drunk in Omaha lined up behind us, yelling at us to get the f*ck out of the way."

"Oh Lord."

"Yeah. Some drunk finally gets out of his car and goes, 'Dude, get the spare tire and put it under the tire, and then you'll roll right over it and everything'll be golden.' But then SVP soandso gets out and grabs a landscaping block, and that works, then we drove right over the landscaping. So then SVP and me are sitting there at 1:30 in the morning, stomping and kicking the grass back into place." Lol I love their stories. You should hear them go on and on at Christmas parties about their clients and things that happen at conventions and whatnot. "But you know, that's the kind of stuff that really bonds with clients and gets you business. It really does."