The only reason I'm writing today is because I promised myself I'd keep this blog alive so that I can look back and see my growth.
Phrecklette's new foster mom is chosen and will be taking my place by next week, probably. We'll do a 7 - 10 day transition.
So next week sometime, I will probably be a shambles. My sup asked me, "Are you sure you want to do this?" I said I was.
I know this is the right thing for me. Almost all the recovery that I had in my life is gone. If I look back and see where it went, I can tell you that yes, I was having some problems around the time I met BF. I had already gained a few pounds here and there, but nothing substantial. I could still wear my jeans (those were wonderful jeans). Then I started caring for Phrecklette and the proverbial sh*t really hit the fan. I started gaining weight at lightning speed.
After Phrecklette leaves, I will grieve for a time, then I will start doing some things about my health. Not my weight. My health. That's got to be the focus.
Mary B helped me get some perspective today. She said that this isn't my fault…this is my sister's fault. It is because Phrecklette is ready to go home but my sister is not ready. Mary said that my sister must take responsibility for that. I thank God for that therapist sometimes.
In one way, I am excited about starting life again after Phrecklette leaves. In another…well...not so much.
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