you have to break a few eggs.
Have you ever seen "The Human Stain" with Nicole Kidman, Anthony Hopkins, and Ed Harris? It's really good. Anyway, Hopkins' character is the head of a department at some college. Someone accuses him of making a racial slur and no one will stand up for him because he's made enemies while building up his department. As he tells his lawyer, if you want to make a good English department, you've got to break a few eggheads. It's a fascinating, if sad, movie.
Anyway, in order to make a lean, mean, selling machine, you've got to break a few VPs.
Our department's been fat and VP-heavy for quite some time now. And in the past 2 years of my 3-year tenure here, I've seen some fat-trimming. First MJ went. Then sundry Directors. Now a few VPs are being demoted to Directors.
We didn't fully understand why MJ was cut loose. Was it because she was paid the most? Was it because she had grown lacadaisical (although I am really the one who's the poster child for that trait)? Was it because Napoleon just never really liked her?
Although no one has told me, "MJ was let go because there are about to be less VPs and too many EAs," I put the pieces together today when Mr. Leads told me a little something. Specifically, at least 3 former VPs are now Directors, although it isn't official yet. All 3 VPs are people who have not had direct reports for a long time, if ever. For two of them, I wondered why they were even hired as VPs. One of them is a long-time employee who started as an SVP, then was demoted to VP, and is now being demoted to Director.
Now it makes a lot more sense why I now have two additional gents to support. It's not because I was so damn good. After all, my little 'victory' was accompanied by a performance improvement notice. It's because I support all the Directors. And now these VPs that I was so proud to acquire as beneficiaries of my services are just Directors; just rank and file salespeople.
So let's gaze into our crystal ball a little, shall we?
- This year, I think the last remaining 'childless' VP will be demoted to Director.
- A few more Directors will be hired. One of the lower-eschelon people who sells the simple services might be fired or may quit as leads are drying up.
- More moderation at office open-bar type parties will be urged...these parties might begin moving toward the 'you get 2 tickets for drinks'-type parties. Don't believe me? Consider the progression. These parties used to be held at some cheap little bar in Dundee. Then they were moved out west to an upscale restaurant. In the same move, spouses and significant others were invited, in order to tone things down a bit. Next, someone was actually fired for wild behavior at a party. Yes, I know...technically, she did verbally and physically assault her manager whilst in a drunken stupor, but geez! At least she didn't bump and grind against anyone like others who shall remain anonymous.
- Management will use micro-management to passive aggressively encourage people to travel less. Just make it as painful as possible to travel and people will start to avoid it like the plague.
- We'll go through two EAs. Neither will be someone who applies internally because they know that if they work for Napoleon, if history is any indicator, they won't be working here much longer.
Anything other than that, I can't really hypothesize. I feel like I am in a chess game or one of those mythic long-range plans where the participants can't really tell what the end goal is, as was the intent of the planners. Unless they have razor sharp business instincts. We all know that I don't harbor those talents.
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