Twiggy and Me

Now that I am responsible and well-dressed as well as chipper….actually, let's just stop right there. It's exhausting just to look at that.

Anyway, now that I am responsible and well-dressed and chipper to boot, Twiggy thinks I am her new best friend. She is constantly telling me all this stuff about her life and, well, whatever crosses her mind. That's ok except that I really do have work to do now. So it becomes a problem when I have to turn around and tend to my work while trying not to be rude. I don't want tick her off.

Well I have to go work on contracts now. Before the contract Nazi sends me to the employment gas chamber...

Today's horoscope

So right on.

Sheila,
You must shift gears now and get ready for the changes ahead. Even if you have been focusing on external relationships, now you will benefit more from taking care of personal business. This is about creating the necessary security so you can direct your attention to more meaningful things. If nothing else, at least catch up on paying bills, balancing your accounts and taking care of unresolved money issues.

Today's Horoscope

Sheila,
Your emotional needs are even stronger now than usual, yet it could be easy to find what you are seeking. The key to your success lies in the unconventional approach you take to expressing your feelings. Others may be quite refreshed by your frankness and your originality. Even those who have been opposing your efforts will be converted by your brilliant style, especially if backed up with substance.

I don't know what this is referring to and don't have time to puzzle it out right now but maybe later when I'm not running a mile a minute.

Actually, this is today's horoscope

That was yesterday's.

Sheila,
You can be a great team player today if you are prepared for what you must do. It might be difficult to jump into a situation and learn as you go. If you are not ready, be patient and give yourself a chance to make mistakes. Perfection won't come in an instant, but may be the result of trial and error, and concentration.

Today's Horoscope

Sheila,
Give yourself the freedom to talk about your real needs today. This isn't just about finding meaning in life and expressing what's in your soul. It's about the practical side of living, too. Don't try to be so profound that you miss the simple stuff that's right in front of you. Even the most cosmic discussions with friends or family can help you figure out basic strategies for improving your life.

Hmm…the only thing right this minute that could improve my life would be some serious pain pills.

Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson Are No More

Everyone knew it was going to happen, but I am sad for them nonetheless. Who knows what went on between those two…but I was hoping they would survive it.

Today's Horoscope

Sheila,
Working as part of a group has its rewards and challenges. Today, for example, you might encounter a competitive colleague who is hiding ill will behind a smiling face. This person might not even be aware of his or her behaviors because the real motivations can be repressed. Being friendly can help bring your relationship back to a more trusting place.

Awwww…how sweet…but being friendly to Adminzilla doesn't really get you anywhere.

She still treats you like you're her serf.

Today's Horoscope

Sheila,
More than other signs, you Scorpions are tuned into the Sun's entrance into Sagittarius, for it now leaves your sign behind. There's a lot ahead of you with respect to resolving issues regarding your own self-worth, but it feels like there is more hope now on the horizon. Be patient, yet persistent. Don't ease up on what you know you must do. But realize that it's going to take some time to achieve the results you desire.

It feels like there is more hope on the horizon? Where?

I'm pretty stressed about paying for the damage to the car I hit…I have to call that guy soon but I keep putting it off. I will call him, at the very least, this Friday, after I do my budget.

Today's Horoscope

Sheila,
Responsibility comes naturally to you these days, but not without a small price. You must find ways to take your anger and channel it through socially accepted modes of expression. Putting more effort toward your career or long-term goals may be one way of easing your frustration, but be careful that you don't over-react to a situation. Take it all in stride, for with Jupiter in your sign, what you do now will pay off over the months ahead

I'm not awake enough for heavy-duty introspection today. So I don't have a clue what this means or refers to.

What is My Greatest Fear?

Well, that depends on the day and mood, but for now, let's talk about a big one, which is that this blog would get 'discovered' and people might actually want to read it.

 

Can you imagine the acerbic comments I'd get about some of the stuff I post? I see blogs like Opinionistas and WaiterRant.net getting terrible comments, and they don't really post about their shortcomings. That I can tell, anyway. I've posted about my huge lack of responsibility at times, the fact that Boyfriend and I have broken up and gotten back together a bunch of times, that I gave my niece back to the state (horrors!), that I am pro-life (worse horrors, for some folks), my opinions about everything basically.

 

And then I enabled comments.

 

Now so far, no one has commented. Hardly anyone reads this blog. Which is fine by me. I don't think I want that to change. My quiet little corner of the world can stay quiet and that's cool. I don't want people trying to ferret me out. Especially people in my workplace or family. And some of the stuff that's happened to me isn't run-of-the-mill, could-happen-to-anyone stuff. It's very, ummmm, distinctive. Know what I mean? Anyone who reads about my niece and my struggles with that will, if they know who I am, know who the author of this blog is. And anyone who knows who I am -- well, I don't really want them reading this. My anonymity is the reason I feel free writing here. I can really say whatever I want. Like even stupid stuff about how right Kanye West was about the president not caring about black people.

 

(My first take on that was the same as the average non-educated American's. Then you hear about a different perspective and you realize...West probably wasn't right.)

 

So anyway, on with my evening. This evening shall include a visit to Wal*Mart for snacks and a movie...either Chicken Run or Planet of the Apes with Mark Wahlberg. Au revoir!  

Today's Horoscope

Sheila,
You are pulled now between your desires for self-expression and responsibilities to yourself and your community. There isn't a quick solution, for circumstances beyond your control can prevent you from doing what you want. There is no need to be in a hurry. Your ability to control your energy will eventually bring you success.

I guess this might represent my desire to pay for the damages of the car I hit and my feeling that I might stroke out when I realize that doing so will put me in proverbial poorhouse for the next 3 months in order to get it done. :o) And that includes the month of December. What's in December, ladies and gents? Christmas.

But my responsibilities to that gentleman come first. So, such is life.

Chris Klein -- One Big Ugh

This guy sounds like a creep from the word go. What a pig.

http://entertainment.msn.com/movies/hotgossip3

I really, really, really wish this guy was not from around here. He's making us look like a bunch of jerks.

It's getting more and more easy to understand why Katie Holmes loves Tom Cruise. After reading this, you'll say to yourself, "Well, good for Katie, at least she got rid of this jerk."

A Master's Degree is No Promise That Someone is Smart

My Director in a certain cosmetics line that I love just sent me that email that says Bill Gates is sharing his fortune…

Now I really like my director and all; she is real and encouraging, really just an awesome person who has built her own business and taken charge of her life. Her business bought her husband, her children, and herself a large new house in West O. I've been to the house; it's beautiful.

But umm…well…doesn't pretty much everyone know this is a hoax?

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/nothing/microsoft-aol.asp

Oh Lipstick Lady!
I will pray for you! :)

Today's Horoscope

Sheila,
You may not be able to find what you're looking for today, but this is not a real obstacle to happiness. Accepting the limitations now being placed on you can save you a serious headache, for you won't be able to overcome them. There's no need to fight authority as if it was the enemy. It's not. Working within the constraints may give you the safety that you seek.

Hmmm…Ain't that the truth.

Oh.My.God.

That vapid bag of flesh I call Twiggy is gossipping about the latest unforunate's misadventures (Peanut Butter).

That she is gossipping is just routine.

That she is gossipping to Napoleon is insanely wrong. Why would you DO that?????? Good God, he is not your friend!!!! He is the person, who, if you screw up, is going to be the lawnmower mowing you down, bagging you up, and then walking your ass to the unemployment office! But you could be spared…if he likes you and will give you another change. She is ruining people's second chances by doing this!

I don't know if I can stand it.

Wait…salvation…sounds like she's gossipping to the Marketing Manager…we'll call that person M&M. M&M is actually nice. But I could have sworn that she tried to gossip to Napoleon about this. I know I heard his voice.

Twiggy's Only Happy When It Rains...

Chapter 1 Zillion and Twenty…

Now she's gossipping about someone new. At least it's not Adminzilla. And there's not as much malice involved.

There was a vacant office in this Hall of Egos known as Sales. They give people offices based on their performance, as offices are a bit dear. Sooo one of my favorite Directors, who has also performed very well, while still managing to act like a human, got the vacant office.

Another Director (we'll call this one PB, as in Peanut Butter) had been sqatting in it and was being a bit territorial about it. Apparently, he wasn't too happy about having to go back to his lot in the cubefarm.

I have done an unbelievable amount of work for Peanut Butter. His letters are very poorly written. I practically rewrite them so prospects don't think his brains truly are made of peanut butter. Then I shuffle around the prospect names in each letter, print em out, he signs, I put them together with collateral, and overnight them out. Not a big deal…but when there are about 25 of them in a shot, it can be a problem.

However, even that wouldn't really be a problem if he hadn't written me this note: "CelerySticks has really been on us about getting these out by a certain deadline, so I might have told him they were already done…hush hush on the big rush." Well, okey dokey, Peanut Butter. I'm no rat.

Unless you rat on me first. In that case, Katie bar the door.

More Reasons to Intensely Dislike Insurance Companies

Did I mention that I had a car accident on November 5, a Saturday?

Yup. I did. It was of the sandwich variety; the sandwich variety being that the other two vehicles involved were the bread and my little station wagon was the dark green jelly.

I probably didn't also mention that I was not insured at the time and that my driver's licensed had expired on my birthday.

So of course I'm liable for the damage to the vehicle in front of me. Understood, since I rear-ended him. Black and white, case closed.

But the guy behind me is in the same boat as me with regard to liability, in that he's liable for the damage to my car's rear end.

And his insurance company wants to settle. That's great.

What's not so great is that they've offered me $100.00 for the damage to my car. Not acceptable.

To them, it's fair. They said the car was totalled before their insured even hit it. Possibly. However, to me, it's not fair. My property had more value that its resale value -- namely, its value lay in the fact that it's operable and gets me from point A to point B every day. That car is my livelihood. Comprende?

So I called my would-be attorney and he said, well you could go to small-claims court. Blah blah blah…and I said, well, tell you what…I'll just pay my retainer since I need an attorney anyway, and let you handle it.

Bottom line -- must pay retainer very quickly. Thank God my car is driveable and operable…because that makes me not work from a position of desperation. Well they are going to be mui surprised, as is my attorney, because I am not going to take 2 months to pay my retainer.

Hypocrisy is All Around

I know that Twiggy complained to my sup and others, no doubt, about me doing personal business at the office. Honestly, what was I supposed to be doing? The work that didn't exist during that period? I was my dad's guardian and I had to find him a place to live…how was I going to handle that?

Now I'm sure that blog viewing and posting probably doesn't fit into all that…but! But!!!!!

What is so funny about this is that Twiggy constantly shops online when she's not busy…and then when she thinks someone is looking, she switches to a work-related task.

How do I know this?

Because she just did it.

She is such a hypocrite.

Paris Hilton isn't a Bad Actress

I saw her movie, "House of Wax" last night, and it was actually ok. She was pretty good. Of course, she didn't have to do much other than be herself, lol, but even so, that's not that easy when you're saying someone else's lines.

Whenever I see a movie like that and it shows how the murderers' psyches were shaped by their horrid parents, usually through abuse, it just breaks my heart when they show or hint at the abuse. I always think of Phrecklette. Being a mom has changed me a bit. It's made me more sensitive to the pain of others.

Today's Horoscope

Sheila,
Your curiosity can get the best of you today, but your day goes beyond learning something new. It involves sudden illumination -- an "aha!" that awakens those around you. Don't be concerned about the effect you may have on someone else. You need to experience the epiphany when it happens.

Ok.

So does that mean that my PMS bad mood and easy irritability yesterday and today is an epiphany?

Boyfriend doesn't think so.

It's Good Not to Be Fired...

Wow, I am a valued member of the team once again.

I'm getting work assignments left and right. I have a feeling that Twiggy was getting what would have been my assignments because I was gone so much that people couldn't depend on me.

Oh wait…that's not a hunch…

That's what was said in my performance improvement notice.

I think my sup probably put a stop to that while at the same time telling me to put up or shut up, which was, apparently, what I needed to hear…because I am totally rising to the occasion.

Better not talk too much more about it or I might jinx myself. Know what I mean?

I Wasn't Just on Time this Morning

I was early. Yay. Napoleon, you will NOT win!!!!!

The Credit Nazi

The credit nazi reported me because I didn't get my dang contracts to her fast enough. Then she was oh-so-nice to my face today. Whatever, you credit nazi.

I kinda knew she was going to do that though…some of those were running seriously late…but but but…oh screw the excuses! Gosh, haven't I been at this post for close to 3 years now! Either put up or shut up - let's get it together.

Oh great, someone dropped off receipts on my keyboard while I was gone and while this post was blatantly displayed on screen!!!! It just gets better and better!

I Know Why the Caged Blog Doesn't Post

Because blogger thinks it's a splog…a spam blog. I have no idea why they would think my blog is a splog. Whatever!

Blog Problem Fixed...I Hope

Every time I emailed a blog post, it showed up as a draft until I did this word verification thing…I hope I've fixed the word verification bit because I can't go to that site to approve this stuff left and right. It's bad enough that I post to this from work lol. Which I should probably stop doing. Ah well, here goes...

Posts Are Not Showing Up

My posts that I've been emailing from work and from AOL while I'm at work have not shown up. If this one does, I'm going to be worried. I doubt that Napoleon would like being called that at all. Besides the fact that the frog in my little cabinet there says Napoleon on it.

Opinionistas

Wow, I just found another blogger who's like me in that she writes
about her personal life and vents about stuff and whatnot. :) Yippy
skippy. :) Now I don't feel so alone.

Her blog is called Opinionistas (http://www.opinionistas.blogspot.com/)
and it's pretty groovy. I love what she says about how to dress at the
Firm:

"It's true, the wry personality that he's known since college, the girl
who legendarily scarfed down every available chicken wing at his
tailgates and promptly projectile-snorted Diet Coke upon hearing him
crack a joke in Family Law, is a far cry from the portrait of demure
reticence that I paint each day at the office. Head down, feet moving,
I hover as far below the firm's radar as possible. Keep your voice low
and even at all times. Never say a negative word about another
associate. Smile and nod during any conversation, but express no strong
views. Attend lunches and firm functions to appear congenial and
gregarious, but not so many that you're labeled "the social one."
Display pictures of any pets prominently on your desk to show that you
care about another living creature, but avoid overemphasizing that you
possess a life outside the confines of this building. Dress well, but
not too well, following standard office trends and making sure to hide
any prominent curves or attention-grabbing physical attributes. Rarely
take personal calls in the office, and always close your door when
doing so. Above all, meld fluidly into the surrounding taupe hallways
and conference room walls, fuse yourself smoothly into the firm's daily
mechanism. Blend in, and survive."

I wish someone had pointed this out to me about how to dress at work.
I'd have taken more care to cover my fat, and most importantly, my
inordinately large rear end. Well, lesson learned, I guess. Better late
than never.

Today's Horoscope...

Is right on.

Sheila,
Your anger is soothed, then stirred up, then soothed again today as changing pressures force you to respond, even if you aren't committed to your current feelings. This emotional roller coaster settles down over the days ahead, but you might find it difficult to wait. Any sort of physical exertion will be beneficial now, for it blows off some of your frustration.

Looks like I'm not changing jobs any time soon.

I got a Performance Improvement Notice (PIN) this morning. Napoleon's on the warpath and he's creating a documentation trail in order to get rid of me, if I don't improve and have perfect attendance for the rest of my tenure in his department. Now that I have this PIN in my file, I'm not sure I should even bother applying for this new job. My sup encouraged me to apply anyway, but why embarrass myself? I'm not sure I have the chutzpah.

To make matters worse, I don't think he's aware of this, but I was late this morning. Then I fell in the parking lot too. I totally overslept. I feel like such a loser and honestly, what person is late for work every dang day and manages to keep her job? I would not be surprised at all if he checks my punches himself and if I'm late again, he'll have my sup go to step two of their disciplinary system. I would also not be surprised if he has asked Twiggy to inform him when I am late or if he just asks her, Hey has she been late lately? And she'll go on and on with a story about how I was late on Friday, blah blah blah. Like I said, Twiggy's only happy when it rains on someone else.

My sup was reluctant to do this warning, but he insisted on it so they will have proper documentation if my mistakes lead to a termination. I guess that is the key. If this stuff is happening, it's not to blame on Napoleon or anyone else -- I have done it all, no matter what the reasons. Just like this morning -- it was me who didn't get to bed on time last night, who stayed up instead and then, as a result, overslept. I'm the only person there is to blame. I'm really lucky they have put up with me for so long and been so flexible with me.

They also gave me a warning about professional dress. That one is the only thing that really bothers me. I just about put myself in the poorhouse to buy a new 'uniform' for work. I spent about $250.00 on new items for work and now they have to do this. He's seen every dang thing…he knows I've improved my performance, my clothing, everything, and still insists on this. Well, we all know why and that it's not personal…but the clothing bit still irks me greatly.

I feel like it's a challenge now to be on time for work…kinda like starting a new doily just to see if I can do it. But God almighty, my life is a total mess.

Twiggy's in a Good Mood Today

Of course she is.

Adminzilla made a boo-boo that she can now pick on.

Ever heard that Garbage song, "I'm Only Happy When it Rains"?

Twiggy's only happy when it rains on someone else.

She came into my cube to tell me allllll about it and I was so tempted to tell her how Adminzilla's perfectionism yesterday almost drove me to slit my wrists with a butter knife, but I refrained!!!!

And I know I said that I would tell her I don't want to hear it anymore, but I just couldn't bring myself to say, "Hey! Your gossipping is EVIL! Now get your evil butt out of my cube because I am not listening to this!!!!"

Yes. I am weak.

But at least I didn't ADD to the gossip!!! I empathized but didn't add and refrained from making any negative comments. That was good enough for her. No points added, but none lost either.

Office politics are so wrong.

Today's Horoscope

Is a mystery.

La Phreckle,
Your magnetism should be powerful today, and this is an ideal time to make any type of presentation. You have a dramatic side that you can use effectively now. This can also be positive romantically. Do something special with a loved one, or just by yourself, if you're single. Pleasure can come unexpectedly, no matter what the situation.

Guess Who's Trying to Come Back...

Hmmmm…

Is it one of the recently fired/laid off unfortunates?

Nooo…

It's that loverly man who
A. Left to start his own company,
B. Once told me I should work at Burger King instead of this place because I was too irreponsible. He was right, at the time.,

C. Thinks adultery is ok even if you're in a committed relationship
D. Openly flirted with me as I got thinner
E. Mistook me for his online mistress when I greeted him with, "Hello there! What's up?" His response: "Oh nothing, just dreaming of your pretty face." Next IM from him: "No, I'm not leaving my wife." My response, "Ok." I left off the ellipsis so as not to embarrass him by basically saying, I know you have the wrong IM and now your little secret is out.

F. Promised me a job when he left here but never delivered. I see now that that was fortuitous.

The only problem with this not-so-triumphant return strategy is that they didn't even replace him when he left here. The VP of sales in charge of that particular vertical decided there wasn't enough work for someone to live on. So if he were to return, I don't think he'd be doing the same vertical as he was when he left. And that's a problem, since that's what he specializes in, it's all he knows, and that's where all his contacts are. Plus all the agencies he worked with have been reassigned. Soooo that's not happening. It'll be interesting to watch.

Funny, he never messages me anymore when I'm online.

Opinionistas

Wow, I just found another blogger who's like me in that she writes about her personal life and vents about stuff and whatnot. :) Yippy skippy. :) Now I don't feel so alone.

Her blog is called Opinionistas (http://www.opinionistas.blogspot.com/) and it's pretty groovy. I love what she says about how to dress at the Firm:

"It's true, the wry personality that he's known since college, the girl who legendarily scarfed down every available chicken wing at his tailgates and promptly projectile-snorted Diet Coke upon hearing him crack a joke in Family Law, is a far cry from the portrait of demure reticence that I paint each day at the office. Head down, feet moving, I hover as far below the firm's radar as possible. Keep your voice low and even at all times. Never say a negative word about another associate. Smile and nod during any conversation, but express no strong views. Attend lunches and firm functions to appear congenial and gregarious, but not so many that you're labeled "the social one." Display pictures of any pets prominently on your desk to show that you care about another living creature, but avoid overemphasizing that you possess a life outside the confines of this building. Dress well, but not too well, following standard office trends and making sure to hide any prominent curves or attention-grabbing physical attributes. Rarely take personal calls in the office, and always close your door when doing so. Above all, meld fluidly into the surrounding taupe hallways and conference room walls, fuse yourself smoothly into the firm's daily mechanism. Blend in, and survive."

I wish someone had pointed this out to me about how to dress at work. I'd have taken more care to cover my fat, and most importantly, my inordinately large rear end. Well, lesson learned, I guess. Better late than never.

Today's Horoscope

Sheila,
You may not be feeling too solid today, for your emotions can rise and fall with unexpected suddenness. You can fight against these inconsistent feelings, frustrating yourself in the process or you can take advantage of them. Ride these wild waves of change, but keep a light hand on the controls. Your determination to hold on and to see where it takes you can turn this into a positive turn of events.

I wonder what this one is referring to. Surely it can't be my job. It must be my relationship. Well, I guess they're just vague enough to sell horoscopes...

I know I Said I Wouldn't But

I can't help but be nice to Twiggy even after she backstabbed me. Oh well, such is life…

Today's Horoscope

Sheila,
If you're feeling a little off today, it's because there are changes in the air, but you may not yet know what they are. Don't waste any energy trying to control them for sweet Venus is coming to your rescue. Manage your emotions so that you can focus your intensity as needed or back off when necessary. Flexibility combined with kindness can win you the prize.

Maybe the change they're referring to is me applying for an Operations Trainer position. My boss thinks it would be a wonderful position for me. We'll see.

Today's Horoscope

Sheila,
You may feel as if a pool of anger or resentment is rising, and yet you might not know where these feelings originate. Furthermore, it's difficult to tell how deep the waters are. Be careful about jumping into this situation, for the sirens can seduce you into believing that you'll be better off with full engagement. You are quite receptive today, so consider the possibility that these emotions may be projecting from someone else.

Oh I know where they originate. From the person sitting in the cubicle next to me…Twiggy.

I had a 'come to Jesus' talk with my sup on Friday. Apparently, I look too frumpy, I'm not on time for work or not here too much, I conduct personal business at work, I have too many 'visitors' at work, and I wear my tennis shoes in my cube to top it all off. Horrors!!!!!

Well I know exactly who reported two of those items -- personal business and 'visitors'. Twiggy did. I wouldn't be surprised if she had a hand in the rest as well. That girl is on a power trip and it's just getting really ridiculous. Right now, I am so filled with anger toward her. It is hard to dispose of the feelings as you can't really dump them on the deserving party.

But what you can do is stop being so bloody nice to her. You can stop listening to her gossip. You can stop offering to help her by taking HER phones so she can get out of here on Fridays or right before her vacations. You can stop talking to her unnecessarily. In short, you can give the deserving party the cold shoulder. With as angry as I feel toward the turncoat, she won't just be getting the cold shoulder. She'll be getting the nitroglycerin-frozen shoulder.

What's more is that she was totally wrong in doing that to me. Maybe if she had the problems that I did, she would understand. But no, she acts the cold, unfeeling rhymes-with-rich. As far as visitors? Basically what might happen occasionally is that BF would bring something up here for me that I forgot. That was it. There were no extended visitors on work time. It wasn't like what Twiggy does -- leave her desk for half an hour at a time to gossip with people, while I answer her phone. And I never once complained to my supervisor. Honestly, it wasn't that big a deal…if I absolutely had to do something, then I found a way to get it done, but I didn't run to our sup every time she transgressed.

I'd like to say that my silence and lack of complaints about Twiggy will end now, but I don't know that they will. Do I want to be like HER? No. And what good would it do, honestly? Other than to make me feel a little bit better? Nothing. I will think about it, but I don't think it'll change much.

Twiggy went to Napoleon once about Adminzilla. Then MJ went to Napoleon about Adminzilla. Now the remaining busybody thinks she can do that every time she's ticked off about someone. What happened to the chain of command? I thought that disrespecting your boss was something you could get in trouble for but apparently not when you dress nicely.

Napoleon probably wouldn't even notice me that much if I looked great every day. Well, now I have enough clothing to ensure that I do. He just walked by and looked at me like, dangit, I was thisclose to getting rid of her!!!!!

Oh well, time to stop whining and get to work. I have enough to do, for once and I'm very glad of it. I'm tired of feeling useless.

There's Something Seriously Wrong with Mindy McCready

And I feel very sorry for her unborn baby.

http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/music/article.adp?id=20051104113209990006&cid=918

This woman is very obviously suffering battered woman syndrome. She still 'loves' her boyfriend/abuser/sack of human solid waste. She even acknowledged that her boyfriend is not even sorry for the things he's done. And then she tried to commit suicide while pregnant. That baby will be lucky if he/she isn't damaged already.

Once born, that child will witness all the horrors of domestic abuse and will be scarred for life by it. And that is no exaggeration.

Someone please help her. Or at least, after that child is born, get that child to a safe home.

Today's Horoscope

I get my horoscopes from www.tarot.com. Check it out. It's free.

Sheila,
You may face a tough decision today regarding money. The dilemma arises from whether it's better to make the best of what you have or let go of something and start anew. Recycling a possession can feel like a loss, especially if you are attached to it. But it is smarter now to cut your losses and begin again from the ground up.

Hmmm…maybe they're talking about that purple people eater poncho that I just finished.

Bounce Back Ability is Amazing Here

People are already over our department's latest departure.

I hope none of the old-timer sales people are laid off…

I did see a position on careerlink.org that I was interested in and am qualified for. It is very hard to leave this job though…and especially the people.

My Martha Stewart Poncho

I finally finished my Martha Stewart poncho.

I put it on.

I looked like a ginormous purple people eater.

I'm so glad I spent countless hours over a four month period of time making that...

Parting Gifts Can Be a Blessing...Or a Curse

Because Phrecklette left me a little parting gift.

Guess what it was?

Let's put it this way. It explains why the top of my dang head has been itching like mad lately. The other part of the parting gift was my recent adventure with Ovide at 11pm at night, bent over a tub, hardly able to breathe because of the fumes…loverly. Oh, and why my hair smells a bit like gasoline this morning...

An EA Bites the Dust

Sheila,
You are experiencing an irresolvable mix of optimism and pessimism. You may become quite the philosopher as you seek to fulfill your basic material needs and sensual desires. Your intuition encourages you to develop a vision of your ideal future, but it is apparent that you must make adjustments as your values continue to change. You may not be able to transform your current situation, but minor corrections are certainly in order.

Well, I don't want to do a Nadine Hoabsh (or however her name is spelled) but I will say that I am shocked that one of the EAs was laid off. I never saw it coming. I thought for sure that if anyone was going to be laid off, it would probably be me. This person had been here at this company for over 10 years. It's just very sad. I hope she lands on her feet. She was the one who volunteered to be my 'little helper' with my weight loss. I may have had my differences with her, but she was a good employee. I wish her well.

In the meantime, I will be supporting two VPs. This is good for my resume, but I'm sad at how this happened. I would never have wanted to gain any advantages this way. I suppose one takes what one can get, but even so, it is all very sad.

Horoscope for Today

It seems this one's message is one day late…

Sheila,
Although differences of opinion are normal, you don't need to escalate them into outright conflict. You are the passionate type who doesn't take a half-hearted approach, giving you strength of vision when things are tough. It can also trap you in an extreme position on a day like today. Keep an open mind and a sense of humor. Remember, it isn't worth damaging a relationship just to make your point.

My sister invited me over yesterday night to watch Revenge of the Sith with her; plus she bought me a copy. Being in the mood for an ice cream binge, I bought a copious amount of it, brought it over with me and proceeded to watch the depressing movie. The problem is that she lives in a questionable area. I haven't seen any crime or any gangbangers or anything like that…but BF was pretty ticked that I reneged on a (ridiculous) promise not to go over there after dark because he considers that area to be dangerous.

Personally, I think it's ridiculous. I don't think it's that dangerous, but BF is usually right about just about everything. I went over there anyway last night, but I can't do that anymore. I have to give him some respect and how hard is it not to go over to my sister's house after dark? Not that hard. He's worth much more than any entertainment or anything gleaned from such a visit.

We were both laying in bed late last night after I got home and I think we were both kinda struck by how quiet everything is without Phrecklette there. Phrecklette is cool with her new life…I went over to the foster mom's house for a 'placement meeting' last night and Phrecklette was doing her best to stick to her new foster mom and not me. I understood though and I'm happy for her that she likes the new FM that much. I think she was afraid that I was going to take her away. After she gave me my first hug, it was hard to let her go though.

I did get some hope from visiting with the new FM and her Agency worker. The Agency Worker thought that they were looking toward termination as the goal. That would be great for Deirdre. She's right at the adoptable age. And my sister will never be the kind of mother she needs. Heck, when I was over there last night, I was surprised at how messy the apartment was becoming. Even worse than mine, and I'm no Housekeeper of the Year. Now I wonder if I should be pointing out the filth to her caseworker or just leave it alone…and I think I'm going to go with leave it alone. My sister won't be getting any tips on how to get her child back from me. She's going to have figure it out and take ownership.

And so begins a whole new era of my life...

Phrecklette is gone. She is with her new foster mom and I am back to being 'young and freewheeling'.

Sunday night, I cried my eyes out. Almost literally. I cried so hard that I busted blood vessels in my eyelids. It's quite apparent that BF's family is glad that I have let Phrecklette go. They could see how much I was declining over time. And they all believed, as BF did, that the State was using me and sitting on their hands because they didn't feel they had to do anything. My FMIL said that I probably had no idea what a toll this was taking on my body. She's right.

But I may be a bit too freewheeling …I overspent this weekend and bought myself a brand new cell phone. Yes I deserve something for my birthday. I deserve something for sacrificing two years of my life. But I should have spent more judiciously. For example, I should have waited to make that purchase until after I paid my rent. Now I will have to raid savings here and in Kansas in order to do that. UGH.

But it's a very nice phone. BF is looking covetously at it. :o)

And as usual, BF caught on to what was going on with me immediately. He called me on it. It was painful. He is worried that if he marries me, that I am going to turn into the same kind of creature as his brother's wife. She overspent them into bankruptcy. I don't want to do that. I've got to stop NOW. And I am stopping…I've already stopped. Now it's too late to turn back time though. Shucks.

And I'm starting my MK business back up. I'm starting with one client and I'm going to branch out from there. She's already ordered about $100.00 of products from me. :o) I'll deliver those and collect tonight. Yay.