Sheila,
You are pulled now between your desires for self-expression and responsibilities to yourself and your community. There isn't a quick solution, for circumstances beyond your control can prevent you from doing what you want. There is no need to be in a hurry. Your ability to control your energy will eventually bring you success.
I guess this might represent my desire to pay for the damages of the car I hit and my feeling that I might stroke out when I realize that doing so will put me in proverbial poorhouse for the next 3 months in order to get it done. :o) And that includes the month of December. What's in December, ladies and gents? Christmas.
But my responsibilities to that gentleman come first. So, such is life.
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