Looks like I'm not changing jobs any time soon.

I got a Performance Improvement Notice (PIN) this morning. Napoleon's on the warpath and he's creating a documentation trail in order to get rid of me, if I don't improve and have perfect attendance for the rest of my tenure in his department. Now that I have this PIN in my file, I'm not sure I should even bother applying for this new job. My sup encouraged me to apply anyway, but why embarrass myself? I'm not sure I have the chutzpah.

To make matters worse, I don't think he's aware of this, but I was late this morning. Then I fell in the parking lot too. I totally overslept. I feel like such a loser and honestly, what person is late for work every dang day and manages to keep her job? I would not be surprised at all if he checks my punches himself and if I'm late again, he'll have my sup go to step two of their disciplinary system. I would also not be surprised if he has asked Twiggy to inform him when I am late or if he just asks her, Hey has she been late lately? And she'll go on and on with a story about how I was late on Friday, blah blah blah. Like I said, Twiggy's only happy when it rains on someone else.

My sup was reluctant to do this warning, but he insisted on it so they will have proper documentation if my mistakes lead to a termination. I guess that is the key. If this stuff is happening, it's not to blame on Napoleon or anyone else -- I have done it all, no matter what the reasons. Just like this morning -- it was me who didn't get to bed on time last night, who stayed up instead and then, as a result, overslept. I'm the only person there is to blame. I'm really lucky they have put up with me for so long and been so flexible with me.

They also gave me a warning about professional dress. That one is the only thing that really bothers me. I just about put myself in the poorhouse to buy a new 'uniform' for work. I spent about $250.00 on new items for work and now they have to do this. He's seen every dang thing…he knows I've improved my performance, my clothing, everything, and still insists on this. Well, we all know why and that it's not personal…but the clothing bit still irks me greatly.

I feel like it's a challenge now to be on time for work…kinda like starting a new doily just to see if I can do it. But God almighty, my life is a total mess.