It Doesn't Feel Too Good to Break the Rules, Does It?

Ah, five year olds and their sleep.

 

Getting between a five year old and the amount of sleep they need (about 11 hours) is like getting between a lion and a freshly killed gazelle. Get ready to be mauled.

 

We had quite a fight on our hands tonight and I learned this lesson. If you have a five year old who doesn't nap during the day and you have them go to bed at 10pm on a school night, you are so screwing yourself. And them. Because the next day, they're going to have a very, very short fuse.

 

And this short fuse may soon lead to you holding their door closed while they look for ways to bust it down. These ways may include a certain blue rolling backpack (read: heavy) that, when she spins around with it a few times and then throws it at the door, will make a nice dent.

 

This, in fact, was what the little darling was doing when I opened her door tonight to try and figure out how the hell I could get her to go to sleep. She was spinning around with this heavy backpack loaded with some knickknacks and whatnot, and when I calmly asked what she was doing, here is the answer I got: "I was going to throw it at that door."

 

"Oh. Well you know that anything that you throw at me or at the door is going to the Goodwill, don't you?" God I feel like a bitch.

 

This little discipline technique decimated her population of My Little Ponies two years ago. She had a habit of throwing them at me when the mood struck. Throwing soon ended. Then hitting and spitting and kicking began. I have a feeling it won't get that far this time.

 

But this time I did have to take a couple of measures. I won't call them drastic. Basically, it involved unscrewing lightbulbs so that her lamps *look* like there's nothing wrong but still mysteriously will not light.

 

At the end, I heard a lot of: "You're making me cry all night!!"

 

"No, sweetie, you did that to yourself." Stroking her forehead, I speak in a low, gentle, calm voice. "It doesn't feel too good to break the rules, does it? I know it's a bummer. Goodnight, I love you." Forehead kiss.

 

End of Scene.

 

I just might be getting the hang of this.