Five Minutes to Write a Post

I have five minutes to write this post, then I have to go get some Excedrin Migraine and then the child and then the newly-crowned Bacon Bringer.

Today was kind of an off day. I woke up with a humdinger of a caffeine-withdrawal headache. Yikes. Took the wee one to school, got myself some Motrin, went back to bed. Later on I took Bacon Bringer to work and then wandered around a bit. I brought him a sandwich for lunch, then I went to see Twilight at the 1:15 showing...only it turned out that the website had the wrong showing soooo it was 2:15 instead. Shiznit.

I didn't want to wander around the city for so long, so I decided to instead wander the mall. First off - lunch. I snagged a chicken salad sandwich from Arby's and had a seat in the food court. The food court is such a bright, white, and bluish-gray place. There is a lot of light, a lot of white paint, and a lot of bluish-gray tabletops and seats on white frames. It's very noisy over at Westroads Mall. I thought today as I sat chewing my sandwich that I could finally understand why it is that restaurants have those dividers....so that everywhere a diner looks, they won't be staring at someone. Intimacy I suppose.

Lunch couldn't last forever so off I went to wander the mall. I returned a call to a friend of mine and we talked about different things, mostly the Disease and how freaky it is. I apparently had a lot to say and was excited to be talking to a non-family member, as I felt like I was interrupting a lot and not letting her get a world in edge-wise. We talked for around 30 minutes and then it was time for Twilight...and nachos.

They sure did pick the right actor to play that vampire, Edward. Holy lord, he is hot. But not just hot in terms of the pretty-boy hotness. That character's entire package - his deportment, voice, etc., - all of these things add up to a tragically, terrifically hot predator. That is one of those movie characters that you just sit and wish was real. You sit and think, why can't there be guys like that in world? He is too perfect, though, really. That character had no flaws...I'm not sure if he urinates or poops, but I can bet that he would not leave the seat up. Speaking of which, that is one beauty of living with a Muslim. Anyway, that's TMI. Bacon Bringer might be upset if he read that particular divulgance. (Is divulgance a word?)

The silence at home during the day is a little deafening. I'm by myself too much. That hasn't morphed into eating, but I sure don't feel like doing anything, including much eating.

At first it seemed like God had answered my prayers when I walked out of that building on Friday...finally I would be free of the constraints that others have. I could pick and choose my next step...no longer under anyone's thumb...unable to say no to any ridiculous request. No more of that nonsense...that I got paid. for.

That's all fine and dandy but there's one problem...all the people I would like to hang out with during the day work. There are no meetings during the day, either, except on Fridays over in Counciltucky. You can be sure I will be attending that meeting.

I must not slide into depression and loneliness. I can prevent this. I must stay in contact with others. I must keep myself busy. I cannot let this turn into me sleeping too much and eating too much and just doing anything too damned much. I have friends, I have intellect, hobbies, stuff I can do. I just need to find my groove and get into it. It might take some wiggling about.

Then once I'm in my groove, next step is a part time job. A friend of mine told me today that if I'm going to work part time and I have a choice in what I do, then I ought to find something that I love. But I don't love anything that I can get paid for. I love to sing, crochet, read, plan stuff, coach other people...I'm not sure what job that would be.

Oh well, first thing's first. I've been writing too long and won't be able to get migraine meds before I get the munchkin, but that's ok, I'll just take some Motrin.

Anyway, like I was saying, first thing's first. I'm in love with the Twilight series from that film...I will have to find those books.

Next up, plan Munchkin's birthday party...need bracelet kit, invitations, cake mix and frosting, as well as candles. Plus streamers and balloons. And guest list. Ok, maybe the party should come before the books. :)

Third, list my old work clothes on eBay (note to self: need de-fuzzer first).

Fourth, continue doing a great job of taking care of family.

Today's fear is: Hubby finding out I went to a movie. And that dinner will not be all that great because I didn't spend hours on it...it's leftovers.

Shopping: Need bread and raisin bran, plus skim milk. Aldi, here I come.

First Tuesday of Joblessness

Here we are on Tuesday. This is like a never-ending vacation.

Yesterday I worked around the house and took care of stuff left and right. I did tons of laundry, cleaned out my closet, made up bags for donation to Goodwill and kept some items I think I can sell for a couple bucks on eBay. The little one was home sick yesterday so that was fun. She was barfing left and right. No barf today though!

I was looking forward to being home alone today, but no dice. Now Mack is working from home today. I was hoping to just hang out by myself. That would have been nice.

Tonight we are celebrating Eid over at my friend Bouchra's house. We are bringing goat curry, Irish soda bread, and rotis. Guess who's cooking all that stuff? Yes, that's me. This is quite a change from my previous life, where no one wanted to eat anything I cooked lol. I'm looking forward to interaction with people outside of my immediate family. :)

Napoleon said yesterday that he would accept my resignation, so that was good. Hopefully this means I'll receive payment for my unused vacation time.

Well I'd better get this party started. Who knew that , even while unemployed, one can still be quite busy? I have food to make and more laundry to do and get caught up on.

Day Three of Joblessness

The word continues to leak out of me to various people. I told my crazy family not to call me at work anymore since I won't be there. Sister has repeatedly asked me how I left, as she considers it to be so sudden. Well, it is sudden. But how does she know that? We don't live together or even talk that much.

Anyway, maybe I'm selfish, but I keep thinking that she wishes to know for no good reason. If she finds out I was fired, she will be happy and gleefully tell the story of how Insensitive Secretary fucked up to all her 'friends'. No thanks. If I quit, well, that's just not that interesting. I am not willing to tell lies anymore, so I just don't answer her texts. Let her think what she will.

I told my OA friends today that I'm now a housewife, for the time being. I announced it at the meeting today...'If you're working or at home during the day and you're thinking, gee, I'd like to call someone, but everyone's working, dammit! Well, guess what? That's right, call me! I'll be at home allllllllll day." I'm terrified of falling into isolation...and food. Our disease is one of isolation. When we're alone a lot, we can eat without being challenged.

Truthfully, I do feel ashamed of what I did, even though it was innocent. Who could be so stupid? I don't believe that I robbed anyone of their dignity as our little emperor, Napoleon, put it. I was just stupid, and, at the worst moment, at a loss for words.

I have had many moments of emotional discomfort...some crying, but also some moments of just being uncomfortable. Basically, just not being comfortable being alone with myself.

I picked up the house some...prep for my new job, I guess. I have long wanted to get this place really de-cluttered and made into a real home, but have not had the time or energy. Problem solved, I suppose.

I watched the end of 'Get Smart'. Not the best Steve Carrell performance. Then I watched 'Hancock'. Great movie. I loved it. Will Smith is the best. How I adore escapism and superheroes. Especially right now. Netflix will be strutting their stuff for me in the near future.

What will probably happen, methinks, is that I will work part time, and go to school part time, and the Mackistani will pay the bills in the meantime. This should be fun.

What's really funny is that it's only day three and I think I have this all figured out...back in Step three, I gave my life and will over to the care of God as I understood him. Now here I am, once again trying to shortcut the process and decide the outcomes. Right now I hear Dr. Phil in there, 'How's that workin' for ya?'

Which reminds me! I'll be able to watch Oprah now!!!!

Day Two of Being Jobless

It's actually Saturday...do weekend days count?

Weekends mean a lot less to me now that I'm jobless. And this is just day two of joblessness. I mean, when Monday comes, I'm not going to work. I'm going to stay home, clean the house, cook, might go see about getting my glasses fixed before my vision insurance is taken away, and figure out what I'm fixing for dinner. Many things around here need catching up.

Mack and I have decided I am not going to go looking for a job right now. He said I have worked hard and need a rest. (I just had to put his comment in there to once again congratulate myself on finally picking an excellent mate!)For the next two weeks, my new job is to figure out what I want my new job to be. And, of course, making a fresh, awesome dinner every night. My fresh-food-obsessed husband is *really* excited about that.

I'm so looking forward to taking my little one to her appointments and not giving a shit how that will affect anyone. I never have to worry about her royal highness, the receptionist, again. She is out of my picture. I'm looking forward to taking my time with my little one...taking her to her stuff, not having to hurry, sleeping in a little bit. Now I can attend more of her therapy appointments with her as her therapist desired.

A friend of mine at OA works at Marriott. She suggested I check out their jobs. Right now I feel like to take a job that I really don't want could be poison to this opportunity. I don't want to get into an environment where I limit my thoughts on what I can be and do. Right now I have an opportunity few people ever get, and one that I never thought I would have...I am out of the workforce and being given however much time I need to decide what job I want. On top of that, I don't need to make as much money as I previously made.

I'm free.

Free of the shackles of administrative assisting, which I never really liked anyway. Whatever my next job is, it will not be one where my opinion on most issues is considered close to worthless. I do not wish next time to work somewhere where my position is not valued by higher levels of management. In my ex-job, assistants didn't really know much about what the people they worked for were really facing. We were kept out of the loop. We didn't attend any meetings and were not a member of any team, other than the administrative one. In that office, no one was really valued unless they were personally liked by Napoleon.

I cannot help but feel lucky, even though I was fired. My friend the EA, I don't remember her nickname, remarked in wonder yesterday that I sounded kind of glad or happy. I have to admit, once Napoleon was finished yelling at me and shaming me, once he was done making himself feel better, and had walked away, I called Supervisor up and go, 'I'm fired, right? Ok, let's go talk about it in a conference room.' Supervisor even seemed surprised at how upbeat I was.

So we went in the conference room and I explained what it was about, and then said, 'You know, Supervisor, maybe it was just time for me to move on anyway. Would I ever have quit? Probably not.'

Then, 'Tell you what, you guys are going to be just fine. Let's go back to my cube and pack up my stuff. I will show you where everything is and clear off some personal stuff that you won't need. You can stand there and watch and do whatever the company needs you to do.' She said ok and off we went.

I *cheerfully* packed up my stuff. As I packed, I thought about how much stuff I really did *not* have. I had gone on many decluttering binges at my desk, getting rid of whatever wasn't needed so that when I eventually left or was asked to leave, I would not have to carry much. I had really pared it down to just the stuff that I actually would want to keep. I deleted my personal files. Not much lost there. I deleted all the music and of course my pictures, any other personal correspondence that was no one else's business.

When I got home, I just kind of wandered around the house, aimlessly for a while. I didn't know what to do with myself. I still couldn't believe I had been fired. Then I realized how many personal contacts I needed from my Outlook account. And of course all my passwords that were still in Outlook. I knew Supervisor had not yet filed the paperwork to shut off my access to that, so I logged on and worked on saving and deleting personal stuff. That took about an hour. Soon it was time to go get the little one from school and Mackistani from work. Off I went.

I have decided to sell my old office clothes on eBay. I hate them all anyway. I think I would like my next job to be more casual. I definitely do not wish to ever again work somewhere where clothing was considered so vitally important. Anyway, I will certainly need the money.

I think I would like my next job to be part-time. Like 30 hours per week or something. I don't need benefits anyway, for myself, the little one, or Mackistani. Wow, I should really celebrate the fact that I have options. I'm so very lucky.

And free. FREE AS A BIRD!

No Longer a Secretary

Well kids I am done with ABC Nuts and Bolts. I've been fired. Yep, that's right: fired.

What happened was this: a dear coworker was laid off earlier this week. His phones were forwarded to me after we came out of the meeting where they told us about it. His wife called not five minutes after that meeting. I was still in shock and told her while in this fog that he'd been laid off. Yes, stupid, I know.

Well Napoleon was pretty unhappy. I certainly never intended to hurt anyone, though I know that was really stupid. He actually yelled at me while I was in my cube. I don't know if he expected me to defend myself when confronted with this, but I didn't defend myself. I agreed with him regarding everything he said; 'that was really a dumb, dumb move' (yes, you're right, and I regretted it the moment it came out of my mouth). 'Guy worked here 20 years and you tell his wife?' (yes, you're right, that was the wrong thing to do and I wish I could take it back).

And I absolutely meant all that I had said. I knew it was dumb from the moment it happened. I didn't mean to tell anyone. I considered calling the guy and making amends right away. I didn't know if I should. But it was clear today that he must have been upset. So after I talked to SeaBee, I called him right up and made amends. He said it showed a lot of character that I had called and apologized and made my amends. Well, yippy skippy. I wish I'd done it the moment it happened, honestly. Then I wouldn't have been fired.

You know....I'm not a vindictive, spiteful person anymore. I'm just not. I was at one time. But never would I intentionally hurt someone whom I respected that way.

Not working there anymore is scary. It's scary and it's also not scary. I keep thinking...how will I explain being fired? Who would want to hire a person who makes judgment errors like that? Oh lord, now the Mackistani will be paying the bills. That's just great. I guess I can work full time on becoming a software tester and selling stuff on eBay. I won't be able to live the way I want to live now...because I'll have to depend on someone else to pay for everything and I am not going to be going to them and asking them for money all the time.

Next up...it is freeing not to be there anymore. I will miss the people that I worked with. I feel sad that the receptionist will be spreading venom about me all over the place. Many people may have the wrong impression of me due to this. Christine will relish it.

Automaker CEO Says He Will Work for $1/year

To get federal aid.

 

As someone who of course felt that the CEOs of those failing companies should not make so much dang money, I must say that this latest pledge does the cockles of my heart no good.

 

I realized it as I read this article. I expected that if a CEO got paid virtually nothing after asking the government for bailout money, that I would feel, as a citizen and a consumer, vindicated. Nope. You know what went through my mind?

 

SO WHAT? YOU’RE STILL RICH!!!!!!

 

That’s when I realized something.

 

We don’t really care whether they take a paycut or not.

 

It *is* and it *isn’t* about corporate excess.

 

What it’s really about for the average American is revenge.

 

We want all their money taken away. That’s what we want, emotionally speaking. We want THEM to be poor, to pay unreasonable taxes on barely any d*mn money, to have to choose to either pay the rent or take the kid to the doctor, to have to haggle with THEIR bank about when they can pay their car payment. We want THEM to deal with creditors and live on the cusp of homelessness because they just can’t get ahead.

 

That’s what we are FEELING. It’s not logical, that is for sure. Basically, I sense a growing feeling among average Americans that they are being screwed. And there is a growing frustration and anger about it.

 

Just my opinion of course.

 

I’m just a secretary.

Happiness is Just a Curly Fry Away

I saw this at Arby’s the other day while eating….curly fries. I couldn’t wait to get my curly fries and extremely fattening chicken salad sandwich with all kinds of frou frou.

 

Arby’s did not know the full import of that statement for compulsive eaters…

 

When a compulsive eater who is still ‘practicing’ their behaviors has feelings, has sadness, anger, despair, lots of happiness, whatever, her solution is to eat to get rid of those damn feelings. A curly fry would take all of that away in an instant. Unfortunately, there would not be enough curly fries on this planet to forever stave off the unpleasantness of unpleasant feelings or the sense that happy feelings will end disastrously.

Why Not Just Stop Being Part of the Working Poor?

Cause it sure would be nice. My friend suggested that the government helping people is not a solution, but that to stop being part of the working poor is.

You know he's right.

It's far better to stop being 'working poor' than it is to get help from the government. Who the hell wants to be a member of that class, anyway? Not I, my friend.

In fact, no one wants to be. So, then, why is it that there are so many unwilling captives of that class?

Well, basically, it's because it's not that simple to get out of that class. Once you're in, quite often, you get stuck without some help.

Take single moms for example. Never mind how they got that way, that is none of anyone's business. But the fact is that there are a lot of them. Most of them didn't wish to be single moms. And many of them are struggling. They have to work and they have to pay all the bills and then they also must pay for childcare. Many would like to get an education. But they can't; there's no money left over at the end of the day to pay for that as well. Let alone energy. So how do they get ahead? Hard work doesn't do it all. You need a break.

I don't think government can solve every problem and of course, it shouldn't. People have to get motivated, they have to learn to make good decisions. A single mom who's struggling should take steps to save money, she should not increase her family size while things are unstable, she should make good decisions. Same thing goes for a single dad. Or just anyone who's struggling to support their kids.

People who have gotten themselves out of that situation or similiar often tend to forget just how hard it was to get out of it. But for people to sit in judgment of the working poor, to say they shouldn't get any help, is paternalistic. It's just not that simple.

It's not just a math issue. It's a social issue, an education issue. People are far more complicated than that.

Now one could say that we need to leave people alone and let them solve their own problems. But how do you reconcile that with the fact that, these days, the deck is stacked against getting out of poverty? The cost of living is rising, gas is rising, credit is freezing up, people are losing their houses, food costs have risen.

But are wages rising?

No, they are not.

For example, I got a 1% raise last year. Someone recently told me that sometimes you have to give yourself a raise by getting a different job. I would like to get a different job. But I have insurance here and I have a child with significant emotional challenges. There are many appointments to attend for her and I've been here for a while, so my employer has gotten more flexible with me. I also have been awarded more PTO because of my length of employment here. I need those supports in order to raise this child.

And since credit scores count when you are job hunting, my chances of getting another job that actually pays more than this one are slim. My credit sucks. I spent a good part of my life screwing up. Now I'm paying for that. Even so, things are looking up. I'm not *still* making those terrible decisions.

Coming from a crazy family of origin, addled by addiction - That's part of how you get stuck as part of the working poor. You come from a crazy family of origin. It's up to you to overcome it, not something government can really help you with, but by the time you finally do, you've already made some serious messes that takes years to overcome. You didn't go to college because you were all screwed up and had no support. You made bad choices. Your decision making process was all screwed up.

No one wants to be part of the working poor. Most members of that class are doing everything they can to get out of it. They're WORKING but they can't seem to get ahead. If the government wants to promote a strong citizenry, if they want to promote a strong economy, it makes sense to help those people who are working hard and not getting anywhere.

This philosophy of 'it's just too bad, those people should work harder' is a bunch of crap. Sure, it makes people feel good so they don't have to think about all the other people in this world that are suffering. But it's not a philosophy that actually does anything to help the situation.

Help the People, Not the Fat Cats

This is the only place I can really get political. I thought of forwarding this OpEd to my family and friends, who liberally sent me anti-Obama, anti-Muslim vitriol, but no, I can’t. I’m such a coward! I still may, though. Many of them also sent me crap about giving the $700 billion bailout money to consumers, not businesses who f’ed us all over.

 

Oh well, at least I can share this editorial with you.

 

I fully agree with this editorial. I think it’s BS that the Republicans can so freely give my taxpayer money to banks and the auto industry and businesses, but then turn around and pinch pennies when it comes to health care for kids, help for parents of attachment-disordered kids, the ordinary problems of everyday Americans. We should be outraged, but no, we’ve got the working poor voting for Republicans because the Republicans promise to stop ‘gay marriage’ and ‘illegal immigration’; things that don’t even matter to these voters. Keith Olbermann of MSNBC asked a good question the other day – What is it to you? Why do you care about gay marriage or illegal immigration? It hardly affects us.

 

But this economic problem affects every person in the US. Especially us, the working poor. I don’t care about gay marriage; but please help me clothe my child and provide medical care for her if I can’t do it alone. I’m very lucky that I have married. We’re more secure now because of that. But were I still a single mom, I’d be scared out of my wits.

 

Op-Ed Columnist from the New York Times, 11/11/2008

Beyond the Fat Cats

By BOB HERBERT

Published: November 10, 2008

The most important thing the Democrats and President-elect Obama can do with regard to the economy is bring back a sense of fairness and equity.

Bob Herbert

The fat cats who placed the entire economy at risk with their greed and manic irresponsibility are trying to lay claim to every last dime in the national Treasury. Meanwhile, we’re nowhere close to an economic recovery program that will help the people who are hurting most.

Back in September, with the credit markets frozen and the stock markets panicking, the treasury secretary, Henry Paulson, was telling anyone who would listen that his $700 billion bailout package had to be passed with lightning speed — no time to look at it too closely, no time for dissent.

The package was modified, but hurriedly. Now we learn that while all eyes were focused on this enormous new burden for American taxpayers, Mr. Paulson’s department was also engineering — separate and apart from the bailout — what The Washington Post described as “a quiet windfall for U.S. banks. ”

With virtually no public attention, and without the input of Congress, Treasury made a change in an obscure tax provision that benefited banks to the tune of well over $100 billion. Was this good policy? In the absence of proper scrutiny, how is it possible to know?

We’ve also learned that the government bailout of the giant insurer, the American International Group — already more than $100 billion — is apparently insufficient. Tens of billions more are needed.

When the Champagne and caviar crowd is in trouble, there is no conceivable limit to the amount of taxpayer money that can be found, and found quickly.

But when it comes to ordinary citizens in dire situations — those being thrown out of work or forced from their homes by foreclosure or driven into bankruptcy because of illness and a lack of adequate health insurance — well, then we have to start pinching pennies. That’s when it’s time to become fiscally conservative. President Bush even vetoed a bill that would have expanded health insurance coverage for children.

We can find trillions for a foolish war and for pompous, self-righteous high-rollers who wrecked their companies and the economy. But what about the working poor and the young people who are being clobbered in this downturn, battered so badly that they’re all but destitute? Can we find any way to help them?

In an article on Sunday, The Times mentioned a young woman in Philadelphia, Kyuana Everett, who is 21 years old, has a high school diploma and is desperate for work. “I’ve tried everything,” she said, “retail sales, office work, but the employers all say they have too many staff and they’re not hiring now.”

The article noted that Ms. Everett cannot even afford to rent a room for herself. She stays with her grandmother, secretly, in a home for the aged.

This is no ordinary recession. With brokerage houses, banks and a mammoth multinational insurance company depending on the Treasury for resuscitation, and with automakers like General Motors staring bankruptcy in the face, it has the feel of a monster downturn, a recession on steroids.

That kind of downturn buries people at the bottom of the economic ladder. We have an obligation to look out for them as well as for the banks and the A.I.G.’s of the world.

If I could place a message on the desk of the incoming president, it would have just one word: Jobs.

With credit cards maxed out, the stock market in the tank, family savings depleted and home equity evaporating, that weekly or monthly paycheck has never been so important.

Congress and the new administration need to think big — bigger than the stimulus package of $100 billion or so, which is being kicked around. Now is the time for a coast-to-coast “Rebuild America” infrastructure program. Put people to work repairing and rebuilding roads and bridges, decrepit schools and ancient sewer systems. Get the construction industry back on its feet.

And now is the time to get going on candidate Obama’s promise to move the country as close as possible to a system of universal health insurance. Pump the money from that vast project into the economy and get those jobs up and running.

And let’s get some help, quickly, to the families who are suffering most from the housing crisis — the ones trembling and heartbroken in the dark shadow of foreclosure.

The naysayers will claim that all of this is too expensive, that we can’t afford it. Where were they when we invaded Iraq? And how do they feel about the staggering amounts being funneled, with nothing like the proper oversight, to the banks and Wall Street?

Let’s try investing in America and its people for a change, rather than just hurling our billions into the abyss.

 

A Final Thought on Religion

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess.

 

-- Louis Nizer (1902-1994) American Lawyer

 

Why is Islam for Me, Part Two

So I was reading this terrible story about the nine year old girl in Yemen who was married to an adult and whatnot. Apparently this is a big problem in Yemen. Parents will sell their daughters to the highest bidder in marriage. And then these bastards that marry these children actually expect to have sex with these child-brides! Obviously, these men who are marrying girls that young are pedophiles who are using the culture to mask their intentions. 

Let me explain about Aisha. Some fool government official in Yemen explained that since the Prophet married his wife, Aisha, when she was six, but didn't consummate the marriage until later, then how can the Yemeni government raise the age of marriage (currently set at 16 but routinely flouted and not enforced)? 

That official is forgetting something. The Prophet didn't consummate that marriage until later, for one thing. Secondly, that was legal and culturally acceptable at that time. Life spans were far shorter than they are now. Thirdly, it was a different world at that time. Europeans were doing the same thing at that time. It is estimated that the Juliet character in Shakespeare's famous play was probably around 12 years old. Europeans evolved in terms of this issue, people living on the dark continent did not, apparently. 

The other thing that the official forgot is this -- a Muslim woman must give her non-coerced consent in order to be married. Sure, a girl who is constantly nagged by her family will probably give in. Therefore these folks may be following the letter of Islam, but they are not following the spirit of it. They are using semantics to say justify their actions and sell of their children.

Anyway, back to my own story. 

I had many stereotypes to deal with. I had heard all the stories of the Taliban and of Saddam Hussein's rule. They were Muslim. They oppressed women, big time. The Taliban was horrible...making women wear head to toe veils but that certainly was the least of their worries under that extremist, insane government. The Saudis, in my opinion, aren't much better. They have enshrined desert culture and they pervert Islam to justify it. 

Mack told me more about Islam. He is a Quranic Muslim. That means he only does what is in the Quran. He doesn't do many of the things that the self-appointed Muslim priesthood thinks he should. He reads the Quran and interprets it for himself. He suggested that I study the Quran. I wanted to learn, at the very least in order to know my loved one better and understand him. So I started reading about it. I discovered that there is no priesthood in Islam. There are no fancy rituals. Like the 12 steps, Islam is about fostering a direct connection between you and God. No intermediaries. You search out the will of God and you try and follow that will. 

The Prophet is dead. We do not worship the Prophet. We worship God. The Quran has never been altered since it was revealed to the Prophet. Two original copies exist - one is in Turkey and I forget where the other is. They are proof that the Quran has not been altered. It's still in its original text. This is a true miracle of God. Personally, I believe that man has probably corrupted the Bible. 

After reading about Islam, meeting many, many Muslims, praying in the Muslim way, I decided that Islam would be a good religion for me, a good way to express my faith. I like the Muslim belief in charity, the practicality of Islam, the belief in equal rights for women (yes they do believe in that). What was revealed to Muhammad in the Quran was way, way beyond Muhammad's time, and I don't think he could have come up with it himself. I also feel that it closely resembles what Jesus preached - tolerance, equality for all, etc.

So, I haven't been kidnapped. I haven't been brainwashed. I'm not wearing an oppressive set of clothes - not walking around unrecognizable in yards and yards of fabric. If I decide later on to wear hijab, then I will. I haven't finished reading the Quran, though, and I have yet to come upon the passage stating that I need to do this. Mack has told me that the priesthood has 'embellished' the requirements for dress for women; making them the same as in desert cultures and then calling it Islam. We'll see. 

Most importantly, I have a faith that works for me. To me, that is the function of religion.

Why is Islam for Me?

I used to be so proud of being Roman Catholic. I went to a Catholic school. I wore the little plaid jumper. It wasn’t Jesus’ fault that our school had the ugliest plaid ever. Blame it on the Sisters of Mary.

 

I started Catholic school in kindergarten and attended through my sophomore year of high school. All during that time, I had a feeling that God was taking care of us. Otherwise, how could my constantly stressed parents and our little family have survived this long? There must have been a Universal Someone looking out for us.

 

I remember being in first grade and learning about selfishness. In our religion workbook was a story about a little girl who had very little food and a little girl who had a lot of food for lunch. She was dressed nicely and very smiley. The poor girl was unhappy. We learned in religion class that we need to share with people who have less than we do. I drew piles and piles of cookies in my religion book. That poor girl was walled in with chocolate chip goodness. I crossed out and drew horns on little Miss Well-Fed. I could really identify with the poor girl. I always felt others had more than my family did. They probably did too. My mom was selling her blood to feed us, and she’d already pawned her wedding ring by this time. I don’t ever recall seeing her or my father wearing wedding rings. She regularly would return the Christmas gifts we got her in order to pay bills.

 

So I started going to church and learned what I was missing. I learned my catechism and what Catholics believe. That was all well and good, but I soon started having doubts. I couldn’t believe Jesus had died and risen from the dead. I just didn’t. But I was a good girl so I played along. Those adults must be right. I didn’t understand all the rituals or the purpose of them. They seemed confusing to me, and meaningless as well. Singing praises to some invisible God? Fawning over Him and singing all praises to this being? A simple thank-you wasn’t enough? I sure felt thankful each time my mom and dad got paid. Did this being care about all this buttering up that we were doing?

 

I am just one person, these are just what my thoughts were/are. Others can believe differently, that’s ok. God has created a world with room for us all.

 

Well I wanted to be a good girl. As noted, I’m an approval seeker. I didn’t want to get in trouble and I wanted my parents to love me. My sister was already causing trouble. The pride my mom obviously felt about my good grades and good reports from my teachers just felt so warm and delicious. I was not about to give that up by questioning Catholicism. And did I really care that much about religion? Not at that time. It was good enough for then. I didn’t really need the world explained to me at that time; nor did I really seek an explanation for anything about how the world came to be, or how I came to be. That story about how my mom puked into my dad’s hat while in labor was so funny; who needed a better creation / birth story than that one?

 

I continued to grow up. I turned into an addict. I struggled through life. I never questioned faith that much. At one point I considered converting to Lutheranism because it seemed like my in-laws would be very happy about that and maybe accept me. They seemed normal and they were Lutheran, so why not? But their eagerness to judge others and put others down just turned me off so much.

 

I think it’s apparent that I was not really seeking God at this stage in my life; I was seeking approval. From humans. Acceptance. From somewhere, anywhere I could get it.

 

Faith didn’t become very important to me and I didn’t really think about it much until I started working the 12 steps. The steps called for a relationship with a higher power of my choosing.

 

Wait. I could choose? Now that was a concept.

 

While working the steps, I decided what qualities that I needed in a higher power, whom I chose to call God. I learned a different way of relating to God. I came to believe that God could and would relieve me of my obsession and heal me, if I continued to do my part, if I continued to ask for and act on His will.

 

Then I met the Mackistani. I had already stopped identifying as Christian or Catholic. My old doubts about the rituals, the dogmas, the priesthood, the churches had arisen from my childhood and I realized that I didn’t need to tamp them down. My religion or faith was something entirely for me, not for others. I figured the answer would come eventually, but for right now, this faith was working for me. It was bringing me closer to my higher power – God, as I call him.

 

When I met the Mackistani, the time came for me to let him know about OA and its presence in my life. I had to explain it to him and that meant also explaining how things work with God too. When I did that, he exclaimed that that sounded an awful lot like Islam.

 

Now I had many negative stereotypes in my head about Islam. Some of them are still there; I was reading a story about child marriage in Yemen today and they cited the marriage of six year old Aisha to the Prophet. What ignorant people.

 

Well Mack is here to snag me. More tomorrow!!!

 

 

Married!

I married the Mackistani on Sunday, 10/12/08, at 4pm.

 

It was such a beautiful fall day here in Omaha. I love fall, did I mention that? In my family, there is a procession of birthdays – first my sister’s in September, then mine in October, a week later my dad’s comes along, and then we have Thanksgiving and Christmas, followed closely by Mom’s birthday on Epiphany. J

 

I’m so happy. When I was married the first time, the first week of our marriage was marked by constant fighting, tears, struggles, etc. It was not like this. This has been blissful. When we went to sleep that night, we felt blessed. When we woke up, we were excited about building a life together. When I changed my name, I felt proud. We’re on day eight and no fighting. This is right.

 

We’re in a groove and things are good. I’m happy to be a wife again, to no longer be on my own to feed and clothe and care for Deirdre. I have a partner, a companion, a friend in the Mackistani. And strangely enough, I haven’t been in charge of this relationship since the beginning. I’ve done the best I can to take the steps I needed to and leave the outcomes to God, even if by chance I didn’t like those outcomes.

 

Every time I’ve set a boundary, it’s been respected. Every time I’ve asked for more, I’ve gotten it. When I’ve stood up for myself, I’ve been pleasantly surprised every time.

 

I am happy.

 

I wish more people were happy for me. In other words, I want everyone’s approval. Let’s just be honest here folks. I started this blog looking for approval and I still yearn for that sometimes. I don’t have my mom’s approval for the biggest thing of my life – raising Dee – nor do I have my dad’s approval and certainly not my sister’s. I’m an approval seeker and always have been.

 

At this point, I don’t have approval from my best friend of more than twenty years. Remember when we went up to Minnesota and she and the Mack had a snit? He really caused it but she really made it worse. So they both had a part in the snit. Now she’s admitted hers; Mack is having a harder time. That irritates me. I want everyone to get along. Thus they must approve of what I’m doing lol.

 

You’d be surprised at how ignorant college-educated people can be. They’re everywhere, these unlearned people. I told her that I was getting married the Friday before it happened. I emailed her at least twice and left two messages prior to that. Boy was she not impressed. When I called her from my car outside the bridal shop the Thursday before, she called my fiancee a womanizer and a jerk and a few things about control were thrown in too. I asked her where she was getting this bit about the womanizing? She didn’t have an answer.

 

Then this morning, I called her to say Happy Anniversary. She and her husband have managed to get to another one. J Let’s see….they’ve been married since 2001 – so seven years now. That’s about when I decided I was tired of my ex husband and sought a divorce. Earlier this year, she did call me and things weren’t well. But her husband is intelligent and so is she, and I think they are working things out. I hope it continues to go well for them.

 

So during this call this morning, she asked me about the wedding. And I gave her some details. She asked where we got married and I told her it was at the mosque. She’s like, ‘The what?’

 

‘The mosque.’

 

‘What’s that?’

 

‘An Islamic temple or something.’ I’m never sure what to call it. I guess a place a of worship is the best descriptor.

 

‘So you got married in his culture, not yours?’ See the ignorance starting to show? Mack is from Pakistan and he’s Muslim, therefore he must be a controller, a sexist, a womanizer, and an abuser.

 

I said, ‘Best Friend, ummm, yes, but that was my idea and my choice, not his. He wanted to go to the judge and I don’t believe in Christianity any more, but I didn’t want a courthouse wedding. So I suggested that we do this. I’m not being kidnapped by the evil Muslim, this was my choice.’

 

Then we talked about Islam and about how it’s worshipping the same God, that Christianity just doesn’t work for me anymore after the faith journey that I’ve been in. I always believed in God, but I never believed in the elaborate rituals, the crazy and unreasonable parameters by which I could be saved. Islam, like Christianity, may not be everyone’s choice and that is fine. It’s just the choice for me.

 

And now that I’ve written that, I fear that in two years, I’ll be doing something ELSE entirely! I always question my decisions and don’t trust myself. After all the scrapes I’ve gotten myself into, the bad choices that I’ve made, I guess it’s kinda understandable that I don’t trust myself. It’s getting better, but I’m not always 100% confident in all my decisions yet.

 

But the point of this post is that I’m married, I haven’t been kidnapped lol and I’m just happy as a clam. J

Horsey Face and the Teeth That Go Every Which Way But Vertical

Let me spin you a tale of very ugly clothes, uglier teeth, and an even uglier faux pas.

 

As you know, I’m considering converting to Islam but I’m still learning. I’m probably 80% ready to convert. Being a true addict I usually resist authority and doing it ‘their’ way of course, so I resist saying anything in Arabic, I resist a specific dress code just for women, and a bunch of other stuff. But I’m learning anyway. More information never hurt anyone. Ok that isn’t entirely true. Onward!

 

This past Saturday a very learned professor from Pakistan was going to be at the Islamic Center here in Omaha. Mack really wanted to go and I thought that would be cool too. Hence began the quest for a hijab (headscarf).

 

You don’t wear a bikini to a Catholic church. You don’t go to a place of worship and then disrespect those who have set the rules. If you want to be welcome somewhere, you follow the rules and you act respectfully. Perhaps a hijab is not my cup of tea, but I wasn’t there to make any statement. I went there to fit in and learn.

 

So our search for a hijab (not something easy to find here in Omaha) leads us to Sister A, who is married to Brother Why Yell, who got Islam in prison. Sister A wears a full hijab (not the ninja one) as well as an abaya. While at Sister A’s place trying to get an underscarf, she mentions that she sells Islamic clothing and would I like an abaya for our wedding in October. No thanks, I would like to look attractive, not walk around in a bedsheet. “Oh, I don’t wear hijab all the time. I just want to respect the mosque and the people who will be there.”

 

Apparently, Mack thought that was not enough explanation.

 

“Yes, we’re not extremist or fanatic muslims!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he says, to the hijab’d, abaya’d muslim sister sitting before us.

 

Oh Holy Lord, I could not believe he said that. I said, “ALEX! You mean ORTHODOX, right???????”

 

He finally realizes his booboo. “Uh, yes, that’s what I meant.”

 

Sister A goes, “That’s good cause I was starting to get a little offended there.”

 

So off we go to the mosque after I am all hijab’d up. I looked pretty fetching even with the hijab. During the lecture, we hear Brother Why Yell profess the date he became a muslim and go OFF about not being down with the enemies, the people who don’t follow the legalistic side of Islam. He of course is then lectured with why is he not following the example of the Prophet, who never preached such a thing.

 

Later on, Mack and I are talking, and Mack has a few choice things to say about Brother Why Yell.

 

‘I don’t understand why he’s going on and on about how long he’s been a Muslim. Who cares? Islam gave him everything in his life – not returning to prison, he has a business, a beautiful wife…”

 

To which I reply, rather cattily, because you know that’s how I roll, “A beautiful wife? Her teeth go every which way but vertical!!!! God he sure must suffer during chupa!!” At which time I move my head back and forth, mouth open, positioning my hands and fingers pointed in a such a way as to represent fangs. LOL. Oh goodness, we were laughing SO HARD. I had a hard time going to sleep last night because I kept chuckling.

 

“Oh. I guess she is a horsey face,” he says in his charming accent.

Miss Prioritay.

So I have this friend and her name is…….hmmmm…..uhhhhh SouthernBelle. No, that’s a mouthful to type. Ok how about SB?

 

So SB calls me up, she’s telling me about the drama with her 15 year old. She’s a 35 year old single mom that I work with. Nice girl. Very small, very tan, very sun damaged, very high alcohol intake 5 foot tall woman. Big old trauma history- her mom was a wreck while she was being raised, chaotic early home life. You name it.

 

Well we’ll call her Miss Prioritay.

 

Ok so Miss Priority has this drama with her son. I thought that’s why she was calling me, that situation is pretty hectic. But I’m wrong.

 

She’s calling me about her boyfriend drama. Mack calls her the Toku Hunter – this means FWB Hunter. I can’t explain it further than that. If you don’t understand, I’m terribly sorry. But this is work email, sorry dudes.

 

So I gave her some advice about her son, which she will not take. My advice was – get thee to a family counsellor. Your string of boyfriends and bad living situations didn’t help. But she’s not going to do that. So that was five minutes.

 

We’ve now spent 31 of the last 36 minutes talking about the boyfriend. Aye carumba. Miss Prioritay, the KIDS come first, not your TOKU! Oh well. She will learn. Still a nice person. Not the best friend I’ve ever had. I hemmed her jeans; she whines about giving me a ride home, though it’s two miles away. She wants her music CD, which will take about two hours to download, but she won’t come over to my house and visit. Whatever. Oh well, some people just have issues.

 

 

Buy and Hold: Not Just for Stocks

Well I sure have been having fun with my eBay business. It is so rewarding to buy things for $5 and then sell them for $25-$30. All I had to do was hold onto them since last summer. Wow! I just sold $60 of stuff for over $200.00. This is so cool!

I have found a niche on eBay and it is selling clothes and shoes to very large people. I make more money on size 13 shoes than anything else. The trannies and crossdressers apparently just adore me. And those trannies and cross dressers will not buy stuff that is not sexy, either. They are not down with that at all.

I'd better get out to the stores and make sure I am picking up those wonderful end of season discounts so I'll have some stock next spring and summer when they're back in season! Yay!

Obama's Tax Plan will Help Working Families; McCain's Won't

I sooooo wanted to gleefully send this to my conservative relatives, but why bother? They would be OFFENDED. Lol.

 

Link to this article: http://www.factcheck.org/elections-2008/a_new_stitch_in_a_bad_pattern.html

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A New Stitch in a Bad Pattern

September 2, 2008

A McCain ad wrongly claims Obama plans "painful tax increases" for working families. And who's talking about deficits?

Summary

McCain's new ad puts another stitch in what we've called his pattern of deceit on Obama's tax plan. This one claims Obama and congressional Democrats plan to push forward "painful tax increases on working American families" and that they will bring about "years of deficits," "no balanced budgets" and "billions in new government spending." 

The ad is plain wrong about higher taxes on working families. In fact, Obama's economic plan would produce a tax cut for the majority of American households, with middle-income earners benefiting most. As for "years of deficits," exactly the same claim could be made about McCain's program. It's unlikely either Obama or McCain would balance the budget, and both are projected to increase the debt by trillions.

Analysis

We've already reported on at least three other ads, in both Spanish and English, from Sen. John McCain's campaign that distort his rival's tax policy. The ads claim that, for example, Democratic Sen. Barack Obama would raise taxes "on the sale of your home" and that he has a "history of raising taxes" and that he wanted to raise taxes on "families" making just $42,000 a year.

Claims like these have led us to say that McCain's campaign is engaging in a "pattern of deceit" when it comes to describing Obama's tax plan. This most recent ad fits right into the template.

Tax Counter-Spin

The ad says Obama and “out of touch Congressional leaders” plan to implement “painful tax increases on working American families,” and it shows an image of a family presumably upset about an impending tax increase. But, as we've reported numerous times, Obama proposes a tax cut for the vast majority of households.

We spoke with Len Berman, director of the nonpartisan Urban-Brookings Tax Policy Center, which has produced one of the most authoritative analyses of the two candidates’ tax plans. When we asked him if Obama’s claim that he would “cut taxes for 95 percent of all working families” was true, Berman told FactCheck.org that it was “consistent with our estimates.” Overall, the TPC found that Obama’s plan would produce a tax cut for 81.3 percent of all households, and a cut for 95.5 percent of all households with children.

Under Obama's plan, the TPC estimates that people (or couples) making between $37,595 and $66,354 a year would see an average savings of  $1,118 on their taxes. 

Under McCain's plan, on the other hand, those same individuals would save $325 on average — $793 less than the average savings under Obama's plan.

Put It on Our Tab

The ad also claims that Obama and congressional Democrats would bring about "years of deficits." But (and we've reported this before, too), the fact is both candidates' economic plans would fail to bring an end to deficit spending, and by that measure, McCain's is worse than Obama's. According to the TPC analysis, Obama's tax plan would increase the debt by $3.5 trillion by 2018, while McCain's plan would bring about a projected $5 trillion increase in the same time frame. The TPC also found that:

Tax Policy Center (Aug 28): Neither candidate’s plan would significantly increase economic growth unless offset by spending cuts or tax increases that the campaigns have not specified.

The Obama campaign maintains that the Tax Policy Center's estimates don't account for Obama's proposed spending cuts, including things like ending the Iraq war. But those cuts will not come close to balancing the budget, and Obama has avoided promising a balanced budget during his first term.

McCain, however, has said he will balance the budget by 2013. Experts remain skeptical. In early July, The New York Times quoted Robert L. Bixby, executive director of the Concord Coalition — a bipartisan fiscal responsibility advocacy group — as saying the claim was "unlikely":

Robert L. Bixby (as quoted by The New York Times, July 8): It’s feasible to balance the budget by 2013, but very unlikely under the policies Senator McCain has proposed. The spending cuts are far too vague to be counted on for significant savings and, even if they were more specific, I can’t see how they would come close to offsetting the level of tax cuts he recommends.

McCain senior economic adviser Douglas Holtz-Eakin sent The Washington Post's editorial board a copy of McCain's plan in support of the candidate's claim. But the board concluded, in its July 14 editorial, that the plan was "not credible."

So the ad's claims about deficit spending and "no balanced budgets"? They could be applied just as easily to McCain as to Obama and the Dems. And we're not sure McCain really wants to go there.

-by Emi Kolawole

 

One Ring to Rule Them All...

One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.

lol I just had to put that in there.

Well, we have picked out the Ring. Quite a journey, this one. First we started at Nebraska Diamond. Some might say they are a rip off joint, since we found a source to get a better ring from at less than half the price they quoted us, but it's probably more of an informed consumer thing. It only took me about ten days to go from a very expensive ring to the same thing but must less expensive. I'll be getting my ring next month. :)

Here is a picture.

Licensed to Wed!

Well I had the afternoon off on Friday to get estimates on our hail problem with our little dimpled beauty. All around bad news there. Mack called up a friend who is looking to find a car and they were happy to take the car off our hands. We are working out the details now. Mack is such a good man. I can really depend on him. It wasn’t always so, but now that he is committed, he is COMMITTED. J Whereas some men profess commitment and aren’t really, Mack means what he says. And any girl will tell you how zexy that is.

 

So anyway, on Friday afternoon, Mack calls me around 4pm and asks me to pick him up from work. My first thought, ‘Uhoh, I think he got fired.’ Followed immediately by oh shut up. Lol. Off I go.

 

I arrive at his work and pick him up. He goes, ‘Hey, let’s go get the License.’

 

Ummm…wow, this is getting REAL. He is NOT KIDDING. I guess…neither am I!

 

So we got the marriage license. I asked Mack if it was heavy. He asked me what I was talking about. “Your new ball and chain, honey!”

 

He said that in his culture, when you start a process like this, it’s tradition to get eat something sweet. Awwww!!! We were so happy and excited on Friday!

 

Now there is the question of the ring. I don’t have one yet. Mack is not good at romance…he is more practical. That’s ok. I have told him what I want and we went and looked at it on Sunday. It’s kinda expensive, but it’s also a once in a lifetime thing. Well…twice for us. We went to this place called Nebraska Diamond and they were awesome. We’ll see what he comes up with. I told him this would be my last visit to a jewelry store and after this, the outcome is all up to him.

 

I ordered myself a nice Alexandrite ring from eBay to wear for the moment. Alexandrite is his birthstone.

 

I feel sooooo giddy!!!!

 

But you would not believe the flack one can get from people who are ignorant.

 

One person said I should be careful because those Middle Eastern men sometimes view women as property. Ummmm, I think I’d be smart enough to avoid that. Another person said that she’s waiting five years with her beau and we ought to do the same. But she is done having children so that is a different story from ours. And I am confident in my decisions…I don’t need five years in order to know. We’ve been through all of our warts. He’s seen Dee’s pecadillos up close and personal and he stayed with me. He’s seen me not doing so hot too and he’s still there. I’ve been through months of unemployment with him and I found that we could work through it, treating eachother fairly and honestly.

 

You know, I had my doubts for a while. But once Mack committed, he really committed. I think he had to find his way, and I probably needed to learn some things too. After all, I’m no relationship star. I’m still finding out how my parents’ dysfunctional relationship affected how I view relationships. I have many fears about that…my dad never supported my mom or us…she had to do it all herself. He spent his paycheck on the road while my mom hocked her wedding ring and sold her  blood in order to feed us. She sold off her Depression glass, many of her possessions, even once taking back her Christmas gifts in order to feed us when my dad was off having a good time on the road. I don’t want to ever end up like that and I have a great fear of it. It is just amazing what you find out when you’re no longer high on food or anything else and you’re seriously looking at something big like marriage.

 

I’m not sure what else I really need to know about Mack, or what else he needs to know about me. We have the skills, connection, and emotion. I think we’re good.

flyinfox...question for you?

Is it really true that divorce laws are unfair to men or is that a victimhood mentality?

 

Understanding Islam

Here’s a great article from MSNBC.com

 

Understanding Islam

A best-selling religion writer explains why the West needs Muslims to maintain a strong and vital faith

Karen Armstrong: 'Islam does not preach violence'

           

By Karen Fragala

Newsweek Web Exclusive

updated 8:06 a.m. CT, Mon., Oct. 29, 2001

 

Oct. 29 - With 1.2 billion followers, Islam is the world’s fastest growing religion—but also its most misunderstood. Karen Armstrong, a scholar and former nun, tries to correct some of the stereotypes in her latest book, “Islam: A Short History.” One of her key arguments: that because fear feeds extremists, any sustained attack on terrorism must include Western efforts to cultivate a more accurate appreciation of Islam.

 

ARMSTRONG IS CURRENTLY a visiting scholar at Harvard and the author of nine books on religion. “Islam: A Short History” was originally released in 2000 but became a best seller in the wake of the Sept. 11 attacks on New York and Washington. NEWSWEEK’s Karen Fragala spoke with the writer about the true meaning of jihad, the myth of the suicide bomber’s heavenly reward, and the prospects for democracy in the Middle East.

 

NEWSWEEK: Your book has been described as an attempt to lay to rest the picture of Islam as a violent, backward and insular tradition. What are the greatest misconceptions about the religion?

 

Karen Armstrong: Sadly, the events of Sept. 11 are going to confirm for many people a vision of Islam that is unjust. Islam does not preach violence, it does not preach vicious holy war, it certainly does not condone terror, suicide bombing or anything of that sort. Like all of the great world religions, it preaches compassion and justice, and that is why it has been a success.

 

The term “jihad” originally referred to the struggle required to be a devoted Muslim, but today it is more commonly used to denote a holy war waged for Allah. Why the shift?

 

The first major Muslim thinker to make jihad—meaning holy war—a central tenet of the faith was [a] Pakistani thinker, Mawdudi [in the late1800’s] and now Osama bin Laden has put jihad at the center of his campaign. That is a very new development in the Muslim world, to focus narrowly on jihad as holy war, and the media also reinforced this. Jihad is the struggle or effort that is pursued on all fronts—intellectual, spiritual, social, moral as well as political.

 

Do most Muslims today regard jihad, in the sense of holy war, as a central tenet of Islam.

 

No.

 

Have militant groups hijacked mainstream Islam?

 

That depends on a lot of factors. Only a small portion of the Muslim world are what we would call fundamentalists and only a tiny proportion take part in acts of terror.

 

The vast majority of Muslims loathe what happened on Sept. 11—it offends every tenet of their faith, but unfortunately, they still don’t like American foreign policy in that region. Muslims have got to make a huge effort now to enunciate more clearly than ever before the peaceful, pluralistic elements of their faith. Everybody’s got work to do now to make sure that those hijackers don’t hijack the religion.

 

Osama bin Laden has cast the U.S. attack against Afghanistan as a battle between the West and Islam. Are the two civilizations set on an inevitable collision course?

 

Islam does not preach violence, it does not preach vicious holy war, it certainly does not condone terror, suicide bombing or anything of that sort.

 

Well, no. Osama bin Laden talks about the Islamic world being divided into two camps, and all Muslims must choose which side they’re going to be on. Are they going to join him and his battle against the godless world, or are they going to join up with the evil forces in their own countries as well as in the West? His real quarrel with the West is that it supports a great deal of illegitimate regimes. He began his jihad against Saudi Arabia’s royal family, and he is also campaigning hard against Egypt’s secular rule, as well as Jordan and Iran. All extreme fundamentalism begins with an attack against your own people and your own co-religionists.

 

Should Muslim leaders be doing more to convince their followers that suicide and acts of terror are contrary to Islamic beliefs?

 

Yes. There are a few fundamentalist leaders who have supported suicide bombing in Israel, and that’s a real moral flaw, and they should all come out against that...What was remarkable immediately after the atrocity was the number of political leaders as well as religious leaders who did come out against it. Even states that we normally regard as terrorist, like Syria, Libya, Iran, all came out in horror, so what more can you say? It was a precious moment, and we must try not to antagonize this unlooked-for goodwill, which will happen if Afghan civilians die.

 

The democratic principles of social justice, compassion and egalitarianism are among the most basic doctrines of the Qu’ran. Yet most Islamic countries are anything but democratic. Why?

 

Democracy is part of the modernization process, but in the Islamic world, modernization is still at a fairly early stage and the majority of the population has not had the necessary education to understand modern political institutions. Looking back to the beginning of the 20th century, Muslim intellectuals were calling upon their own governments for democracy. In Iran, the progressive clergy joined with the more advanced secularists in a revolution that demanded the Shahs give them a constitution along modern lines with a parliament. Iran got its democratic institutions in 1906, but they were never allowed to function freely. The British kept rigging the elections. But [now] Iran is coming to democracy on its own terms, developing a Shiite democracy. They don’t want secular democracy, like the West, but they want their own democracy which comes in that familiar religious package that makes it more intelligible to the vast bulk of the population.

 

All Muslims, regardless of faction, oppose Israel and cite American support of the country as one of Washington’s fundamental affronts against Arab interests. Why has this issue in particular united Muslims across the barriers of state and doctrine?

 

In the Arab world, Israel has acquired this nimbus of symbolic value, an image of absolute Muslim impotence [against] the united powers of the West. It’s not that they had anything against the Jews when this happened—there is no tradition of anti-Semitism in the Arab world—they’ve had to borrow European anti-Semitic tracts to enunciate their new hatred. So you see the Arab Palestinians losing their homes, and 50 years of a world completely indifferent to the Palestinian issue. This has acquired the same kind of symbolic focus as evolution and abortion in the United States.

 

We’ve all heard that suicide bombers believe they will go straight to heaven and enjoy a paradise of milk and honey, with 72 beautiful virgins for every martyr. Is there any religious basis for this?

 

It is completely illegitimate. The Qu’ran and Islamic law forbid suicide in the strongest terms. You may not wage a war against a country where Muslims are allowed to practice their religion freely. You may not kill children or women in any war. It’s a cheapened version of it to imagine these martyrs as thinking that they’re buying a first-class ticket to heaven where they’ll enjoy all of these virgins. Martyrdom is something done to you and you must never take anyone else with you. But what annoys me somewhat [is that] none of these questions were asked in 1995 after 8,000 Muslims were killed by Christian Serbs. We knew enough about Christianity that [we knew] to say that Christianity condoned the massacre was illegitimate. The trouble is that most Western people just don’t know enough about Islam to make that correct judgment.

 

Every major religion has its militant strains. But is there anything unique to Islam that would explain any aggression toward the West?

 

No...What those terrorists did shocked Muslims to the core and there is nothing in the Qu’ran that could justify this any more than you can say that Jesus would have wanted anybody to go and kill doctors and nurses who have worked in abortion clinics.

 

Many Muslims say that religion is more important than nationality. What are the chances of an insurrection by Muslim citizens of countries such as the U.S. and the U.K.?

 

I’ll tell you a story. The BBC rang me up a few years ago and asked me if I’d like to help them with a program about a guy who wanted to do this, and about the support he had among British Muslims, for setting up a separate Muslim parliament and a separate Muslim community not subscribing to the nation. They went off to do the research in Bradford, which is a center for the more extreme Muslims, and they came back in dismay, with their program in ruins because they had only been able to find one supporter [of the plan]. One or two people in Britain were similarly in the news saying they prefer Islam to the nation state, and of course, they got far more attention than they deserved. In America, I have been impressed by communities I have visited, in which they’re bringing up their children to be good Muslims and good Americans and want to create a bridge between the home countries and the West and say, look, it is possible.

 

One of the stereotypes of Islam is that it oppresses women. Is there precedent in the Muslim tradition for the way in which Afghanistan’s Taliban rulers require women to wear a head-to-toe burqa and forbid them from holding jobs or attending school?

 

No. [But] none of the great world religions have been good for women. And I’d include Christianity in that. These are male-dominated religions. But Muslim feminists are now speaking against this. The prophet Mohammed was very keen on the emancipation of women—and there is nothing in the Qu’ran to insist that all women must be veiled or secluded. The Muslim women in the first community often fought beside men in battle and in the early Muslim community, the prophet’s wives had immense political power.

 

Islamic history suggests a legacy of religious tolerance and Jerusalem experienced five centuries of relative peace under Muslim rule from 638 to 1099. What are the prospects for such religious harmony in the future, particularly in problematic areas such as Israel and Kashmir?

 

Rather bleak, I’m afraid. But not for religious reasons. The Qu’ran as well as the Jewish scriptures speak of honoring the stranger in your land and treating him as one of your own people. The Muslims had a system of coexistence in Jerusalem that would be unthinkable today. It was the Muslims who brought the Jews back to Jerusalem. They had never been allowed to take up permanent residence in Jerusalem under the Christians. Similarly, the importance of human rights, and the respect of all peoples is firmly in the Qu’ran, but it is politics that manipulate religion, and at the moment, the leadership in these places is not looking great on either side.