A Clot it is Not

So I got this ginormous hematoma from the snowboarding fun on Sunday.

Remember how I said that it looked 'fun' and that I would probably try it again?

Well, no I fucking will not. I don't care if I have to whore out my being a parent in order to avoid it (as in, 'I'm a parent and it would be irresponsible for me to risk making my child an orphan by undertaking a 'very dangerous' sport').

So far, this damn adventure has cost me $100.00 that I didn't have to begin with. $20 for the doctor's office visit to see if my tailbone was broken (Dedee just learned a new word tonight, ie, "Don't run so fast, Mommy's coccyx hurts."), then $5.00 for the vicodin, and now $75.00 for the ER visit to make sure Mommy doesn't have a clot that might float up to her heart or brain and kill her. Plus three hours of ER time, about 30 minutes of which was spent actually doing things.

So what happened today is that I have this ginormous, ugly bruise on my left shin. No biggy right? It'll heal, right? Well, I was kneeling on my chair for some reason and something flippin BURST inside that damn thing. So you know that freaked me out, and I called up my doctor. And what do you think they said, "Get thee to an emergency room, for thy may have a clot, and we do not haveth a Doppler machine to check that shit out." I was like, "Are you kidding?"

So I was messaging Lashanda Williams and I go, 'Yeah they want me to go to the ER.'

'Why?'

'I might have a clot in my leg. But I'm not going yet, because I have a lunch date and expense reports to do. I sound crazy don't I?'

'Yes.'

'Ok.'

So, I ended up going to the ER. My blood contained elevated levels of the byproducts of clots. Which, the doctor explained, could have resulted from the multiple harmless clots in my leg, or and he closed the door for this one, my 'menstrual period'. LOL. Dude practically whispered 'menstrual period' like it's a crazy alien phenomenon or a position in the kama sutra. lol.

Anyway, all that time in the ER was productive, I GUESS. I don't have a clot. Whoopee.