On Posting Less

I'm sure that the three or four people who actually read this blog have noticed a downswing in the number of postings. I've noticed myself less interested in posting in the blog.

When I first started the blog, I really didn't have that many friends that I talked to on a daily basis. So, I didn't really have anyone to tell my troubles to, no way of dealing with them. In fact, I wasn't deaing with them. What I much preferred to do was whine and cry and put my problems out there for the world to see in order to elicit sympathy or some other payoff. Hence, the blog.

The other thing that I liked to do was eat lots of Ben n Jerry's.

And I loved getting angry about things. That was great. I mean, I still get angry, but not quite as much anymore. Though, right now I am incensed that I got more sleep last night than I did the previous night and am even more tired than I was yesterday. Ugh. So wrong. Anyway, what better place to get angry and vent and be snarky than in my perfectly anonymous blog, right?

It was a confessional. It was an attention-getter, a way to get approval from the world for how I was living my life, etc. A way to get sympathy and empathy without having to go out on a limb and form any real friendships with real people.

Nowadays, things are different. I don't really need or want a confessional. Sometimes the blog helps me sort things out, but I now question the wisdom of having my sortings publicly displayed. Most of the posts that I start never make it to the blog. I'll be writing one and then realize that I don’t want to post it.

Of course, I still post occasionally, but just don't feel the need to whine so much. It's harder for me to dredge up the snark that came so easily when I was angry and irritated all the time. I have a harder time judging others. Though, of course, I still judge people liberally. Yet, this truly is an improvement in my character. Usually, when I'm writing an especially judgmental post, I hear this voice in my head accusing me of my own faults and urging me to stop throwing stones at others.

I used to love posting to my blog. It was a great outlet. But now I have other outlets. I still post, of course, and I probably won't ever take down the blog, but I just don't have the same need that I once did to put my dirty laundry out on the line for the neighbors to see.