Monday, January 15, 2007

Not Such a Hot Day

Let's see…zits everywhere today. Including one little jewel RIGHT on the TIP of my nose. Is there a worse place for a zit to appear than the tip of one's nose? I don't think so.

And let's not forget the one on my chin…

….and the one on the side of my face.

They're just everywhere, and they make me feel frickin fugly.

Then there's the ever-present headache and stuffy nose.

Oh, and I had to eat crow today because I haven't been honest. So that didn't feel good, but then, in a way, it did feel pretty good. Redemption and all that. There's a lot to be said for rigorous honesty. I wish I could really figure out how to practice it! Sometimes I find myself saying whatever I think will shut someone up before I'm even thinking! It saved me from many a beating as a kid, but it's not really helping me now!

D got up at four bloody am this morning and decided that her Singulair was candy and so she was going to have some. I heard her trying to open the bottle and scrambled my butt into the bathroom, because I *knew* that noise wasn't right. There she was with Singulair pills all over the floor. Now I felt guilty about her having gotten up before me, but is that really accurate? Cause folks, we're talking about FOUR AM. What parent expects that kind of stuff to happen? I guess the answer is - lock that stuff up. But how much stuff can I frickin lock up? I can't lock up EVERYTHING! Oh and she also had out a chef's knife and had cut an onion in half that she wanted me to cook. Don't let me forget to mention that she urinated and defecated on the living room floor in rebellion after I became angry with her for trying to munch on Singulair. Or was that because she lives with me, the Devil Incarnate, instead of her Venerated Mother? Not sure which. I'm pretty sure that the chewable motrin was going to be her next option once she finished devouring the Singulair.

GAWD! SWEET BABY JESUS! I JUST WANT SOME F*CKIN SLEEP!

Did I mention that her mom relinquished rights last Thursday and they're STILL doing visits? And that my would-be daughter, when I expressed displeasure that she is sh*tting in her own nest, expressed right back to me that she doesn't really live with me?!

Right now I'd like to strangle my sister for planting that notion in her head, I'd like to strangle her caseworker for allowing these ridiculous visits to continue, especially since my sister's house has trash and crap all over the place (it's awful!) and ESPECIALLY since how the heck are we going to get permanency going if she is STILL being confused by seeing her mom left and right?

Next up - my stupid sister's request that I notify her every time D goes to the doctor? Hello! D could go to the doctor for a sniffle, people. Why should I notify her of that, since she's powerless to do anything about it? Now if D is going to the ER or is in a really dangerous situation, I would notify her of that, just as you would notify your family of that stuff normally. I tried to be really gentle while I said no to her. The woman just relinquished her rights on Thursday. I know she's still hurting.



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