Fun with Cuss Words

So on Thursdays, I have two classes and am at school alllll day. In the morning, we have Layout I with this teacher whom I really admire. Then in the afternoon, I have XHTML and CSS, also with a teacher that I adore. But this last Thursday, I was quite tired and decided not to come back after the first break. Turns out I was getting sick but I didn't know that at the time.

SO out I walk to the parking lot, have surreptitiously grabbed my backpack and whatnot, and I find my car fairly quickly. It's a gorgeous day out - the kind that only springtime in Omaha can really deliver.

I was a bit perturbed to discover that someone had parked their car so close to mine that I could barely squeeze my ass in between the two cars, seriously, and there was no hope at all of getting in through the driver's side door.

I did curse a bit.

"Stupid motherfucker! Who the fuck parks like that?"

Then I realized it was no big deal. I have crawled in through the passenger side of the car a few times before and I knew it was no big deal. I had both will and way.

Once I realized this, I also quickly realized the opportunity for fun and hilarity that this dolt's parking had just created!

Chuckling and giggling at the wondrous opportunity I now had to unleash my snark, and having a ball in the process, I quickly grabbed my 3 subject out of my backpack, snagged one of my favorite pens, and jotted down a little note for the driver of this car to review upon his or her (most likely his) departure from the school.

Dear Assclown,

You parked your car so close to mine that I couldn't even get into it. Next time, leave a can opener so others can deal with your bad parking skills and thoughtlessness!

I was tempted to gouge "STUPID CUNT" into the side of your car but then decided not to, since I am a nice MUSLIM and we don't do those things. Next time, maybe you'll think twice before you act like a dumbass!

Sincerely,
Angry Fellow Student

Usually I leave notes such as this one under a windshield wiper. This note was a classic, though, and required special care. It suddenly occurred to me...this fool probably left their car unlocked. Time for more hilarity!

I went around to the driver's side door and tried the door. Yep, unlocked. I know what you're thinking right now...that I threw a decaying bit of food in there or something. No, I didn't, and there were no dead animals conveniently laying on the road either. I could probably have gotten a nice carton of milk and poured it under the driver's seat, but I didn't feel like it. I was sick. And tired. Literally.

So, I just opted to leave my masterpiece on the driver's seat, and then lock the car for this fellow student of mine.

Man, now I wish I'd PS'd the note with the following:

By the way, sweetheart, you shouldn't leave your car open like that. Do you realize what new and interesting smells I could have helped you discover if I felt like it? Especially at the start of a Nebraska summer? If you're going to behave this way, you'd better be more careful. XXOO.

Damn. That would have been great.

I suppose it's juvenile. But I have never enjoyed writing anything so much as I enjoyed that note. :) And I don't give a fuck.