Thursday, August 30, 2007

Not a Fan of Reality...

Last night we came home and D was acting absolutely out of her mind. Mackistani was out on the back porch, talking on the phone with a friend. D of course made a beeline for the back porch. So then he moved to the bathroom, trying to avoid D.

I finally got D calmed down and she went to bed. I was pretty upset; it was a full-blown rage and just absolutely exhausting. I changed into my nightgown, grabbed my journal, and started writing. This is part of my process. It helps me get my thoughts clear and to get all the junk out of my head.

Soon I hear the doorknob jiggling. Mr. Hand-Eye Coordination couldn't figure out how to pop the lock on the bedroom door with the stick I'd provided. It is a simple lock, just meant to provide the leanest of privacy…ie to let people know 'hey don't come in here' and to fool children into thinking they can't get in a room, when in fact they could easily pop the lock had they the inkwell to a ballpoint pen to stick in the lock. I finally had to let him in. I really didn't want to be around anybody. I needed to get some crying done so I could feel better.

Crying is like a pressure valve for me. It is hard to be spat on and to have your clothes ruined by the drain cleaner that your child splashed on you. It is even harder when you can't restrain the child because you're not strong enough and then to have the child ask if they put the drain cleaner in your mouth, would you die? That's not a big deal of a question from a normal child. You don't fear that your normal child will actually think that trying to kill you one day. But when you have a RAD child, you've read about RADs growing up with all kinds of disorders and growing up without a conscience. It's just scarier. Everything takes on a whole new meaning.

So the Mackistani comes in. We'll just call him Boyfriend. He sits down and is talking to me, and he, without any prompting from me, begins to explain why he was trying to get away from D during her rage. I thought it was just because, well, anyone would. And he probably wanted privacy, which he surely can have. But what comes out of his mouth is entirely not what I expected.

"My friends don't know I'm staying with you. I have always lived on my own and so I am not telling them I'm staying with you. It's a class thing. It's my culture. You might not understand."

I confess, I intellectually understood but not emotionally. And then it continues, that this was meant to be temporary and he might move out next month. Unless I want him to stay. Which I do, but not if that is not what he wants. But then it continues some more.

So we have this very realistic talk, that he needs to evaluate whether he can live with D permanently. And whether my family drama is going to be something he can tolerate.

For my part, I express that I'm not part of their drama in a material sense. And I express that if he doesn't want to commit, then it might be a good idea to express a consistent idea. Instead of calling my dad his future father-in-law one day and then telling me he's moving out the next day.

Can I be honest here and just say it is awfully hard to trust someone who is so inconsistent? How do I know what he's going to be doing on this week long trip to Florida?

I don't understand, everything seemed to be going so well and we were happy…am I just being used? I know there IS an understanding of this in my head somewhere…but I can't seem to access it right now.

This morning, he was his usual charming, loving self, connected to me, interested in me, and in love with me. Should I really even trust someone who is this inconsistent?

I'm not going to break up with him. I love him. I just need to relax and let it be what it's going to be, and stop trying to make it something else, something bigger than what it is.

But, you know, combined with all D's stuff, the extremely stressful week that I've had, and everything else, I have just had enough this week. I wish I could escape.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I think I might have a large facial orifice

There is this baby-faced salesperson that recently joined our staff and he's the youngest in the department now, maybe with the exception of the white-hot, fashion-plate marketing assistant who's thin as a whippet.

So anyway, I recently reviewed some letters he had already printed and signed and wanted me to mail out for him. I found something like six or seven typos in them and let him know so he could make a good impression. This is what I am paid to do, folks.

Yesterday he brought me some more letters. My ego was so excited. He hands me the letters and then he's walking away and I say, "Ok, I'll just look these over and make sure they're not embarrassing."

He goes, "Wow, that is insulting."

He was kidding, but I felt so guilty all day lol. No, seriously, I really did.

So then today he's coming back from lunch with the King, and he stops by my desk and brings the King with him.

He tells the King about the little situation yesterday and I defended myself, saying, "Well, he brought me some letters one time and there were six or seven errors in them. It looked like he didn't have a college education!!"

Oh dear…someone please gag me!!! LOL

What followed next was a discussion that included the expression that the reason I can be so abrasive lol is because every salesperson here has a ginormous ego and can definitely take it. LOL.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

On what planet is Tom Cruise actually taller than Katie Holmes?

Look at the picture and you'll understand. Glad he's doing something different with his hair. Thank God!!!

One word: LIFTS.

Monday, August 13, 2007

The Temp Has Been Fired

B*tch FUBAR'd a couple CEO and COO phone calls…ERG. Damn Master's degree…

…Now I'm going to be stuck dealing with the phones all the cotton pickin time. Fizzuck.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Cranky

It makes me a little cranky that Marketing asks me to proof their stuff, I offer my edits and they're not taken seriously. Then I have the temp who has the big brain offer her edits and now the same edits that I recommended receive greater weight, all because the temp has a master's.

What a load of BS.

Diarrhea

D is trying soooooo hard to be sick right now so she can go to sick kid daycare, where they play games and watch movies and have no discipline lol

so this morning she fakes vomit by either making herself puke or by chewing up some fruit and whatnot and spitting it into a bowl.

Next up, she goes potty in the morning and says to me, with maximum joy, 'I have DIARRHEA!!!!!'

Well this munchkin has faked being sick so many times, I just say, 'Ok, thanks for letting me know.'

 Sure enough, she had a loose stool. I take her temperature, no fever, no nothing, so I tell her to get dressed. I do not say where she's going today.

'Are you tricking me?'

'No, please get dressed.'

A short while later, 'It's time to go.'

So on the way down the stairs, she goes, 'Are we going to Behave'n?'

'Yep.'

'But I have DIARRHEA!'

'No, you had a loose poopy. Diarrhea is when your poop is uncontrollable.'

Now wait for it..
....wait for it....

'But my poop is going WILD!!!!'

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

We're having bliss, people

Ok people, we are officially having bliss. Wow this guy is awesome! The more I find out about him, the more I love him. It's amazing. And the more I find out that my assumptions were wrong.

It's also kinda scary. What if it doesn't work out? Ok I am just not going to think about that today!

Thursday, August 02, 2007

What is significant about this picture?


This is a top story on Yahoo. About the laptop batteries.

Look at the woman in the picture. Why is this significant?

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

The Mackistani, aka Boyfriend

I think I'm in love. Like real love.

Now I've been dating this guy for about four months. And he's staying with us for a month. I didn't trust him for a long time because I've been so screwed over before. And he sure didn't seem to be in any rush to take down his dating profile online. But last night we talked and things changed.

And today I feel really, really happy.

And what's odd about it is that it's so calm. I'm just happy. Today I might escalate that to ecstatic.

I haven't posted anything to the blog about it, not really. I posted something about Mr. Exclusivity. This is the same guy. Let's rename him!

Lol how about this?

The Mackistani?

No…cultural reference is too obscure. You know, like…'Oooo, girl, he is totally mackin' on her.' + Pakistani = Mackistani LOL

Hmmm…nah, let's just call him Boyfriend.

Sponsor has her doubts, I know. And she's usually right. So I will be careful and tread lightly.

For now. :o)