Update

Wow, I have not written in this blog since something like six months ago.

In that six months, I have passed my first wedding anniversary with my hubby. We had a crazy-tough immigration interview. We have not heard the outcome of this yet.

We finally got to a place where we could order me a wedding ring. Hubby brought home from Denver a large, natural, pink sapphire, oval-cut. We are having it mounted in a wheat-motif mounting that a jeweller is custom-making for us.

My daughter is doing amazingly well. Her grades are up a full level, and she reads on a fourth grade level. She is a great speller too. I try to teach her artsy stuff when I have the chance. Her teacher says she is enjoyable and likeable, and seems to have many friends or acquaintances who like to play with her at school. I watch for people ridiculing her whenever I have the chance so as to be sure and nip it in the bud. If I can save her from that suffering and let her know I've got her back, I will.

She has not seen her bio-mom for a year or two now. It seems to do her good not to see her. She doesn't ask to see her either. Nor does she want to talk to her. Whenever I bring up the idea of talking to bio-mom on the phone, she declines, and then misbehaves for a couple of days.

I am in school full-time, studying graphic design at our community college. I love it and am exactly where I'm supposed to be. As long as hubby stays employed, I will be in school. It's a two year degree and I have about a year to go. I used to have trouble imagining how people could actually go to school and be put through their paces voluntarily. Now I am one of those odd adults who adores going to college and doesn't really want it to ever end. If I had my way, I'd snag me a bachelor's degree, not just an associate's, but my family needs me to go back to work someday soon.

Someone gave me a piano and it was the fulfillment of a long-held dream of becoming a musician. Of course, I am a vocal musician, but now I can play an instrument somewhat well, owing to the frequent practice I get with my piano that now stands in the living room. It's a spinet, and I love-et. :) Now I feel like I'm rich!

Add to that our gorgeous Goodwill couch covered with cabbage roses woven in a design that is just-so, and you get a nice looking interior. :) (Ah, the beauty of expensive furniture that finds its way to the thrift store eventually.)Homey, not entirely matched up by any means, but undeniably ours.

I got a lovely metal desk for me to work at, and we placed that in our room. It cost me $20. God bless Craigslist.

My car's health continues to improve with each visit to the mechanic's. Three more repairs, and that 97 Honda Accord coupe will be like a new car to me. :) The engine is good, the clutch and transmission are decent, even though the clutch is a little chattery. I cannot undo what damage the previous, neglectful owners may have done. I love Hondas. My dream car is now a Honda Fit. :)

Marriage is ok. I love my husband and he loves me and all that, but we are separated, for now, by his job. He is in Denver, and we are here, and he visits every other weekend. I would like to go there more often, but it is a long drive with a child, and the wee one is not fond of disorganized road trips that you take to go to a city where you do nothing more than live your ordinary life. The bloom is off of Denver now that a family member of ours lives there and doesn't really want to tour it anymore. I hesitate to have her stay at the sitter's more than one weekend a month. Even that is disruptive. She doesn't want to go with me to Denver, but I worry about her when I'm away. I always think, "What if she is just saying she doesn't want to go, but really does want to?" Even at age 32, I find it very hard to just believe what people tell me with their mouths.

Speaking of age, my birthday is next Sunday. I will be at the OA retreat. I have not been abstinent consistently for a while now, having gone through some serious life challenges and not having weathered them too well, but I continue to go to the meetings, do stepwork, and work with a sponsor. I am hopeful that, one day, I will be abstinent again, and even now, there are days when I am in fact abstinent and not desirous of overeating.

My family endures on. Dad recently had a heart attack but he is really much the same, just older. Mom is just older too. She is a much friendlier mother to me these days. I am always friendly to her. I worked through my resentments toward her, and that fostered a decent relationship between us two.

My sister is another story. She has lost about 100 pounds, by not taking her insulin. Although she has lost this weight, and her body is more well-shaped, I guess, her teeth rotted in the process and much of her hair fell out. It probably won't be the same when it comes back, if it comes back. In any case, she is starting to attract men again, yet she is just as incapable of raising a child as she ever was. God bless birth control. Her self-centeredness is a trait that competes with her height or skin color for its degree of obviousness.

My husband and I have decided that, if all is well once I get a degree, and can get a job, we will start trying for a baby at that time. This is a relief to me. Since the immigration interview, I have not been able to forget for a moment just how duplicitous people can be, as if my ex-boyfriend and sister have not taught me enough about that subject. They can be so sweet and so wonderful over such an extended period of time, but then turn out to be hiding monstrous deeds beneath their kind and adoring, but shallow, veneers. Future plans, although a tenuous and uncertain, and non-guaranteed way to depend on the future, forebode something much better than a future divorce in the wake of green card acquisition.

Friendships continue to develop for me, and that is one reason I am no longer on the computer as much as I once was. I have people to talk to, books to read, and art to create. And I love that life much more than this screen. :)