My feelings are weighing heavily on me today. Each thing I do feels as though it takes a gargantuan amount of energy to accomplish.
I mentioned to D when I picked her up yesterday that I had reserved the time and space for our adoption party at the YMCA. At dinner, when I reminded D that she ought to be grateful that she has a mom who takes care of her and that I had not really had that, I was promptly schooled that I am not her real mom. And that her real mom folds her laundry. And makes her dinner.
"Oh really? And how does she do that? With magic fairy dust?"
"Yes."
Ok, kid, you got me there. I didn't expect that.
So it was off to family therapy shortly thereafter. It went ok. I was dismayed that D admitted she's not too happy about this adoption and then asked the counselor, not me, for a hug.
Later that night, I talked to my sponsor and she was like, well, yes, that is what we talked about.
So I guess I need to adjust my expectations. I want the happy family, etc., but I want it my way, not the way that God seems intent on providing it to me.
Tomorrow will probably be different...
1 comment:
I guess I kinda disagree with you here. The only thing God has given you and gives you every day is time. Other than that, you are on your own. Just because of this one setback, it doesn't mean that all hope is gone and that you should settle. Keep doing the right things and it will come to you. That is what faith is all about.
Flyinfox_SATX
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