The Necessity of Skutwork

Skutwork -- boring, meaningless work that nevertheless must be completed.

I'm lazy. In this job. I just can't think of another word for it.

Someone ordered some collateral from me about a month ago. Being the collateral order taker/fulfiller person was a duty that I volunteered for when I first started working here a four years ago. At the time I volunteered for it, I had blocks of time the size of four hours to fill. As time has gone on, I have stuff to do now and I hate doing the collateral.

Now the problem is that I have work to do, and I also have non-work to do. Like writing in this blog. I found ways to fill my time. And now I hate sending out collateral.

And I can think of no good reason why. I'm just lazy. That's it. When it comes to certain things in this job, I just don't like doing them because they take more effort, or I have to get off my a$s, or I just don't want to stop what I'm doing, or I just think I'm too d*mn good for that kind of skutwork.

Which is ridiculous. This is the job I am paid for - whether it's complicated skutwork or non-complicated skutwork, that is what I'm paid to do…skutwork. Work that is routine, orderly, mundane, could-do-it-with-half-my-brain-tied-behind-my-back, and boring, but completey and totally necessary. This person really needed the stuff she ordered and I pretty much ignored her for a month until Supervisor came to see me today with the emails in hand.

'Do you know how old it is?'

'Um, no.'

'It's over a month old. Why do you do this stuff? You wouldn't like it if she did that to you.'

Of course, I don't answer that question. If there was a real answer for that question, I still wouldn't answer it. It's just like, why CAN'T I just put paper in the copier? What is the big deal? It's not complicated enough? It's not prestigious enough? Can't I just be helpful? Supervisor is so nice, she says that question is such a nice, motherly tone, like she truly doesn't understand. She probably doesn't. Because she IS the epitome of helpfulness. I wish I could come up with some good snark for this post, but I am kind of disappointed in myself this morning. I'm not depressed or anything, but I just wish I hadn't been such a clod about this thing that will take me all of ten minutes to complete.

Why can't I just be that person that wants to be helpful and useful and just puts a smile on her face and says, 'Yes, I'll be glad to help.'? The one who doesn't have uppity, snobby thoughts when asked to do simple, simple things that take less than five minutes? Ugh, what is WRONG with me?

I think this might be a job for God. I think I just need to ask God for help with my attitude problem…it's a character defect, actually. It's my arrogance, which is one of the Big Three (dishonesty, victimhood, and arrogance). All my life, I've been told how smart I am, how well spoken I am, how talented I am. And my ego has gotten way out of hand. That is the problem. I think I really believe, to some extent, that I am better than other people, when the fact is that I certainly am not. And what an isolating thought that is, anyway. If you think you're better than others, how can you really create true relationships with them, how can you actually relate to them? You can't.

I will ask God today for some humility and to help me be a support to others.