Thursday, October 25, 2007

Another Year Goes By

And now I'm 31.

I'm now one year closer to the end of my childbearing years.

Still not married. Might be approaching it though.

The Mackistani and I are doing well. Deirdre's doing great. Work is the same as always.

Let's look back over this year!

October 2006 -- At this time last year, D had been in my care for two months. I was going crazy, she had just been kicked out of kindergarten. This is when I started to really learn the value of friends who will step up at a moment's notice. My money was still crazy and I was in the hole most of the time. I had restarted my abstinence for the last time in September. The termination of parental rights trial was on the 16th of that month and I gave my testimony but the trial was re-scheduled for later. I went to my first OA retreat. What an eye-opener.

November 2006 -- My parenting still sucked and my babysitting resources weren't quite in place yet. Still letting my family drive me nuts. We went to Thanksgiving at my parents' house and I fell asleep on the living room floor, during which time Cathleen took Deirdre into a bedrooom for a nap and when I went to go get Deirdre, she had no dress on. Oh I don't think so. Lesson learned - less exposure to biomom is a good idea. Also, started to take more ownership of my child's welfare.

Deirdre starts Behaven. Oh boy.

December 2006 -- Deirdre's first birthday party with me as her mom at Chuck E. Cheese. It was flippin' awesome. Hamster madness begins and Mommy learns that we don't like pets.

The. Worst. Christmas. Ever. I got salmonilla on Christmas eve morning and by the evening time, rockets of vile liquids were coming out both ends. Not good. My mommy brought me some fenergan that night and I learned that my Mommy will always love me and is just a human being. Deirdre gets up at the crack of dawn on Christmas day and rips into her presents. I am sleep-deprived and extremely crabby that morning. Not the best Christmas for anyone.

January 2007 -- I go on my first date since the whole no-dating bit started in March when I jettisoned Ex. It was fun and interesting to know that even at this weight, I can date and find nice, quality people.

Termination of rights trial resumes. Cathleen relinquishes and Will loses his rights. Deirdre is now technically an orphan. I feel sad and happy at the same time.

February 2007 -- I'm sure something good happened in February but I can't remember what it is. Lol.

March 2007 -- Met the Mackistani and started dating him. First impressions were not too favorable. Lol.

April 2007 -- Mackistani wants to date exclusively. Weirdo.

May 2007 -- Nothing special this month.

June 2007 -- Deirdre gets thrown out of kindergarten again. Later that month we go to my friend Angie's summer party. It's a blast. I can't remember what month it was that I elected to stop all visits with mom.

July 2007 -- Mackistani moves in. Oh dear, it's like four months to the day that we started seeing eachother!!!!

August 2007 -- Deirdre's adoption is finalized. YAY! Later that month we have the adoption party. We take D camping for the first time. She's pretty crabby. Actually both her and Mackistani were crabby. Not the most well-executed party, that's for sure.

September 2007 -- Mackistani goes on vacation to Florida. That was hard. A whole week without Mackistani!!! Jesus deliver me. Well I somehow survived and I actually did really well without him around! LOL. First anniversary of abstinence. :)

Now here we are in October. Month 13 of my abstinence was yesterday. I went to the retreat again this year and ended up with a sponsee. Wow, I am all grown up! Ok, not quite. Am contemplating moving to Chicago with Mackistani but am thinking this is a bad idea if we are not married. We'll see. I hope he doesn't move!!!! But if he does, we will be ok.

Monday, October 22, 2007

More Bliss

Ok my life is going pretty well right now. It's so cool!

I just my one-year abstinence chip. Woohoo!!! I feel better than ever! Now I just need to get my budget under control. :) Not a problem. God's will be done, not mine.

Next up, home life. It flippin rocks. Did I mention we completed the adoption of D on August 13? Yep, we are now an 'official' family!

The Mackistani has been wonderful. That relationship is amazing. We are very happy together. And the coolest thing about it is -- we have discovered that we have a shared spirituality. I love it that we have that in common. I have never had that before and it's an amazing connection to have.

He is Muslim and I used to be Roman Catholic but I have sort of abandoned that. I never really believed in all of that. Now that I have a direct connection with God, I am much more fulfilled spiritually. I haven't figured out how I relate to Jesus and all the saints, whether they are inventions of the Church or if they are real, but I only have one God and God doesn't have three parts. I secretly fear that I will go to H*ll for no longer believing in Jesus and the Catholic Church, but I guess I need to stay in today, not the hereafter.

So we are now definitely in bliss.

Unfortunately, bliss will go on hold in December when the Mackistani moves to Chicago, which I very much dread, but hopefully we'll then have pockets of weekend bliss when he visits. And then daily bliss will resume when I and the Little Devil move to Chicago, God willing.

I also secretly hope that my sister is really pyschic, since she predicted that the Mackistani and I will get married. Well a girl can dream, can't she?