I have enough FART

We had curried chickpeas on Sunday afternoon. Dee had them also for Sunday night dinner.

 

So you could say she was a little 'musical' after consuming chickpeas twice.

 

Last night I offered Dee a banana.

 

'No thank you! I already have FART! I don't need anymore!'

 

Point taken.

Don't Go to the Doctor's Without Makeup ON

If you typically ALWAYS wear makeup and happen to be sick or fat at the same time that you are NOT wearing makeup, stay away from the doctor's office.

 

He will offer you Prozac, a hug, and a gastric bypass.

 

 

Update

Things are going well.

 

Mack doesn't plan on moving to Chicago, he is now looking for jobs HERE. Yes, HERE. And starting a business HERE. And he told me last night that I am the best thing to happen to him in Omaha.

 

Mack has now been fully integrated into our little family and I daresay we are a family unit now. He's referring to himself as Dad and referring to he and I collectively as Mommy and Daddy when he speaks to Dee. As in, "Don't worry, Mommy and Daddy are just having a heated conversation." Did I report this yet? I think so.

 

Anyway, I just feel so happy. I was having some doubts when he went to Florida for three weeks, and then was too late coming back for the special weekend I'd planned for us. Man I was p*ssed about that. 

 

But he has been *so different* since coming back from Florida. Mack is so loving, so nice, so frickin adorable, generous with his time and his feelings and resources, and he's stepping into the role of Dee's father. He's helping me put my life together, appreciates my time and talents, encourages me in my goals, in exactly the way I need, is invested in how Dee is raised, you name it.

 

He listens to me, he respects me when we argue. And we have so much fun together. He is just what I didn't know that I needed. God really does work in mysterious ways.

 

There is no engagement to report at this time, but we love each other very much and we are planning a future together. Mack and I have both been burned in marriage before, so we are taking our time. Things look really good though. :) You know what is weird? Sometimes he reminds me of my dad...the good parts about my dad, not the bad parts.

 

This March on the 30th will be the anniversary of our first date, if I have the date right. :)

 

I keep questioning how this happened to me, how did I find someone like this? I may look foolish if I post this and things don't go well, but I will post it anyway. He's so perfect for me....geeky but not entirely, loves Dee, loves me, loves growth and change, agrees with me on so many things. He's so....rational. LOL. I think it took a good long while for my walls to come down but I can finally say they are completely down now. And I think his are as well. I feel a strong, strong connection to the Mack. :) It feels very secure.

 

Dee continues to do well. Her performance in school is improving as well. We are changing her meds and I haven't had to do holding therapy in I don't know how long. She talked to her mom on the phone on Saturday...not sure that was wise. It bothers me that whenever C has any contact with Dee, she wants more and more. I try to put that aside...even after the phone call, I felt queasy. And Dee did try to pull some stuff...not as bad as last time but it was there...so I think they are not ready for more just yet.

 

I don't know how my family is...we don't speak a whole lot....which is as I like it. For now.

 

As for work -- things are good here. I am having the worst time getting to bed on time and therefore showing up on time. ERG! More than that, though, is that the number of people that I support continues to grow. I have so much to do that I don't know where to start and finding time to do expenses is getting to be more challenging. I have seven reports on my desk to file right now. I will find some time when I can stay late and do them. The Mack is helping more and more with the child so that helps.

 

That's about it for now. Tonight we will probably go and celebrate V day since the Mack is going to Texas to jobhunt and play some tennis plus buy a car for sale, which is what he does when he's unemployed. He'll be gone for about ten days and that'll be a nice time to get my program going stronger again. :)

Exciting News!!!

Well kids, I have been mulling for a while what direction I should take in my education -- what will be attainable and what won't be, and navigating the waters of the unknown.

Vocal music would be unattainable. I would have to quit my full time job and that's not an option.

I don't like business degrees.

So I found this two year Liberal Arts transfer degree at our local community college, which is an awesome school. And I signed up for my first class, which is English Comp II. They snapped my picture for the student ID, I look pretty good. :)

So I'm now a college student. :o)

So Many SPECIAL People

You would not believe how many special people there are here at ABC Nuts and Bolts. First off, there are VPs around every frickin corner. Considering how many there are, if I were a VP, I would be fearing for my job. Or plotting the demise of the others. Take your pick.

And, apparently, every VP needs to have a parking space in the heated garage. Sales has about 13 of those. I support three of those ten folks. Yay for me!

And yet, even though I support three of those folks, I hardly ever get to park in the garage. I have to make sure I get here EARLY in order to make my claim lest someone else snag my spot!

And the 'special' epidemic isn't just at the corporate headquarters building. It's also at the crappy buildings. I was just over at the crappiest of them all yesterday. And I'm trying to find a place to park and sure enough, there was one visitor spot, 2 handicapped spots, and all the other good spots were RESERVED!  IE -- Vice President parking!!! God, how many can there be? Enough to populate a small town? People, a recession is coming, may have already hit -- and these folks will start finding out how 'special' they are when the Company starts deciding how they can prop up profits.

Just TRY arriving late and finding a decent parking spot in the morning here at the Corporate Headquarters. Try it more than once! You will soon find that if you judged this company's goodwill toward its employees by the number of available desireable parking spots, you would judge that goodwill to be non-existent. And now they're even leasing out their non-heated garage spaces to surrounding companies! Boy that sure was irritating one day when I was late and looking for parking. The non-heated garage was just about full!! FULL!!!

It's Finally Happened...

Did you read today that 4 paparazzi were arrested while chasing Britney Spears? They were arrested for reckless driving. I'm so glad the police have finally found a way to curb some of this. I hope more of them get arrested.  Yes, I read gossip blogs, but I don't want anyone getting hurt so a photographer can get a picture.

You, Sir, Are One Confused Skeeve

Once upon a time, I was dating people. Looking for Mr. Right. Well I went on a date with this Puerto Rican guy, he was a major in the air force. Severely smart, extremely educated. Let's name him the Mambo King before we go forward. That's what he was called when he was younger because boy can dance. He loves Latin dancing.

So the Mambo King was a DEVOUT Catholic. We went on a date and it was cool. He was trying to touch my hand and I thought that was ok. He wasn't the best looking fella in the world but not ugly either.

After that date, we didn't go out again although we talked a lot on Yahoo. I'm not sure what disqualified me from the running but I was definitely disqualified. He started dating some girl who had health problems. Ay mi! Did I spell that right?

She was just as Catholic and in love with Jesus and churching as he was. Match made in heaven right? Oh and she was educated too.

So the Mambo King and I talked a lot but not much came from it. It was like some kind of crazy dance. I moved on and dated around and had fun living my life.

One day, the Mambo King let me know that he had proposed to wife #2.

What happened to wife #1, you say? Well, the Mambo King had married her, become dissatisfied with the marriage, and visited someone he knew online. Now he didn't sleep with the visitee, but his wife wasn't happy about it. At all. And felt she couldn't trust him any longer. Yes, this does have a bearing on the story.

So Mambo King gets engaged. But wife #2 ain't putting out. Supposedly, he's cool with that. Yeah right. Suddenly, he's wanting to have steamy conversation. They weren't married yet, and he was expressing doubt about things, so I didn't really care. Keep in mind that I was a different person back then. Plus I was crushing on him. I know that excuses nothing. Moving on....

So one night, he invites me over. And guess what happens? Well, almost happens. Because he sort of broke down crying in the middle. Because he is Catholic and it went against everything he believes in.

Or doesn't believe in. Or does. Or doesn't. Or isn't sure about. Or might believe in, but might not.

SEE THE PROBLEM?

This dude can't make up his mind about a damn thing. LOL. I know it's not nice to laugh at people in torment but God can forgive me this once. Right God?

So that was the end of the Mambo King. Back in 2004, before I started dating Ex.

Now fast forward to last week. Guess who finds me on Facebook? And who got married in 2005 and is now living in DC and still in the Air Force? That's right. It's his royal highness, Mr. Hips himself, the Mambo King.

So my gut told me right away what it was that he wanted -- a renewal of the steamy conversation. He's so transparent. But I thought, well maybe he just wants to be friends. What's wrong with that? Nothing, Miss Bullshit 2008.

So on Saturday we're chatting, about politics, religion, and I'm like, you seem awfully lonely. Guess what? As predicted, the Mambo King's marriage is sucking ass, and not in a good way. There is a problem in the leaving-the-house-together department. There is a problem in the sex department. He doesn't say it right out, but it's pretty apparent, since he starts referring to that one 'intimate night together'. Oh lord. Someone's needs are not being met. Why else look outside the marriage?

And I'm not saying it's her fault. It's not. Takes two to tango, and you shouldn't be looking outside your marriage to get your needs met. You stay put and you deal. You don't wuss out and try to find another source.

"Well, I think about it sometimes too, but that was a long time ago and it's in the past now."

--- SILENCE. ---

The Mambo King is now apologizing for having bothered me. He had told me it had taken him two days to decide whether to contact me or not. That was a big clue. Skeeeeeeve.

And so it goes. Where once he was always online on Yahoo and visible to me, he no longer is. He has disappeared...whether that's because he decided he was on a bad path or because he realized he would have to find greener pastures in order to find someone to wuss out with, I don't know.

See what I mean about being different now? I am *not* going to help him wuss out. I'm not going to become some cybersex partner for this cheating confused fool who can't be honest with himself. Sorry, he lost out a long time ago and that's that. I have someone to be true to and I will not choose to fuck it up.

I feel really sorry for the Mambo King. He chose wrong. I warned him before he chose her that he was wrong but he didn't want to listen. He always complained about her health problems, that she didn't want to go dancing, etc. That she wasn't passionate or affectionate. And now look.

Honestly, it's a lesson for me too. I too need to listen to the red flags and not think I can settle for something less than what I need and want. Some things can be compromised on. Some things can't. Don't settle when it comes to the things you can't really compromise on.

eBay Goeth Well & How to Sell Stuff on eBay

Things are going well on eBay. I've only had like one or two items that didn't sell. I relisted one of them and someone is buying it.

One of the jackets I used to wear, that I originally paid $5.00 for, is now selling for about $11.00. Kewl. My black suit jacket will go for $3.99.

So, I have figured some things out about eBay, which I figure I will write about here. Why not? I haven't got anything else to do... the house is clean and D's asleep.

1. eBay buyers are looking for a good deal.
eBayers want to feel smart and they want to feel like they got a hell of a bargain. Their little egos get stoked by winning auctions, too. That commercial out there about eBay right now is entirely true. You know the one -- 'Don't shop. Win.'

Don't buy doormats that happen to be good doormats or imported doormats and sell them on eBay. No one on eBay buys doormats, even if they're from Pakistan. I could use a new one, though, so go ahead and bring that back from Florida, Mack. :) Love ya.

People on eBay are looking for stuff that is pricey when it's new. Like Edmonds-Allen shoes, or Tommy Hilfiger crap, or Kate Spade or Coach bags. Stuff like that. Not doormats. Stuff that they would normally pay through the nose for.

2. eBay buyers like niche stuff.
That's why my Martha Stewart books have allllll sold. And that's why I will shop thrift stores and Friends of the Library book sales for more Martha Stewart!

3. eBay buyers will buy replacement dishes.
But not all replacement dishes are made equal. Go to Goodwill and check out what brands they have a lot of. Now check eBay's completed listings to see if that sells. If you get a match, awesome!

4. eBay buyers will buy Harry Potter books but forget about Tom Clancy books.
Unless you have audio books, that is. Those sell.

5. Star Wars books sell too.
But remember the Golden Rule: eBay buyers want DEALS. They want to feel smart and validated about their decision to win an auction and thus avoid paying retail.

6. USE. PAYPAL.
If you're going to sell on eBay, use Paypal and while you're at it, upgrade to a Premier account so people who don't have PayPal can pay with debit and credit cards without signing up.

And, while you're at it, it would be a good idea to get PayPal's debit card once you have a balance, so you can purchase new inventory with funds directly from the business, thereby measuring whether you're succeeding or not and being wise or not.

7. Track expenses/income in Excel or something.
And don't forget about inventory. Keep track of what you're paying for inventory and what you're selling it for. Don't forget shipping, of course.

8. Plus size women's clothes that are in GOOD TASTE in the upper sizes sell well.
Like 22 and above. Remember, these women have a hard time finding clothes that don't look like they belong on their 60 year old Grandma.

And remember, don't try and sell your khaki shorts from last season. Sell your lined SUITS that no longer fit. Sell your $200 wool coat that you wore for all of ONE season that no longer fits. Make sure to replace the buttons first. ;) Not your old used t-shirts, unless they were pricey to start with and wash incredibly well and just look absolutely hot. :)

9. Make sure your photographs look awesome.
Good lighting, etc. Cropped appropriately and adjusted for color. I photographed my Martha books on a doily which was on top of a bright cheery green tablecloth. I did it during Saturday morning daylight. Pretty. :)

Another word for this is: PACKAGING. Format your ads nicely and tastefully. Show you have good taste and therefore can be trusted. People have more confidence in things that are thoughtfully packaged. Think about it. You know I'm right.

10. Kids clothes sell well, too if they were EXPENSIVE to begin with.
Right now I am eyeing some of D's princess dresses that I don't have much of an attachment to. Getting out of debt is more important than nostalgia.

11. Don't start the opening bid too high.
I started the opening bid on my black jacket at 3.99. I'm hoping someone else will bid on it other than the one schlep. But starting too high is worse than too low. You will get for the item what the market will bear. It's more expensive to relist than to sell it on the first try. You want to get rid of it and get SOMETHING for it, or nothing at all? Remember, think garage sale prices, not retail prices.

Right now eBay is a hobby. I am just selling things from around the house. But next Friday night, I will be going thrifting, systematically.

More on this topic later.

Raise Your Hand...If You Think That Ebay is Like Gambling

Selling stuff on eBay is a ton of fun. If people buy your shiznit, and if they don't leave negative marks and stuff. That would be annoying.

But let me tell you, it is so much fun to run a 7-day auction and to watch interest build as the expiration date gets nearer.

Some well meaning person who lives in a parallel universe gave me a $50.00 Borders gift card for Christmas. This guy is SUCH a nice guy, I love working for him. I am so grateful that he thought of me.

But, as the Mack says, UNfortunatelyyyyyyy, I have all the books and CDs that I could ever want and am in fact contemplating selling them on eBay. So I am selling the gift card on eBay.

Now this is the most expensive thing I've sold on eBay so far. Therefore, I have been watching it like a hawk.

No interest for like five days of the auction!!! WTF? Tension mounting, I changed the starting bid by $4 lower.

Watch some more.

Day six - a watcher!

Day six and a half - two watchers!

Six hours left -- five watchers!!!!

This can be addictive. I'm checking this stuff all the time now!

I'm serious, it's like gambling. I actually saw one gift card auction where the winning bidder outbid all the others -- and paid more than the value of the giftcard! See what I mean?

Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stacked up here.

Ok, the Mack is looking crazier the farther and longer I'm away from him.

I called him yesterday around 6pm, after not hearing from him all day and not calling him all day. Feeling happy and light, I go, "So, what'd you do today?"

"Do I need to report to you? Do I need to give you details every day?"

WTF?

"Ok, Mr. Attitude. I'll talk to you later."

He calls back ten minutes later. "I just wanted to call and explain to you why I said that before."

So I'm like, "Okay."

"Everytime I go out of town, someone calls me and I say Hello but no one answers. It's always from an unknown number [my work # shows up unknown]. So I think that you are trying to check on me."

What. The. F*ck. Ok, Mr. Special. I don't even remember what I said after that. I just felt really calm inside and mystified as to where he gets this stuff from. And I felt hurt, like, how can he think I'm that way? Cause that is crazy. And stupid.

I really should've hung up right then. Instead I found myself trying to prove my innocence or something. You know who this reminded me of at the time? Mr. Wrong.

I admit that I was suspicious when we first started dating. I had my reasons and it wasn't because I just wasn't giving him a chance or because Ex had cheated on me. The reasons were unique to this guy.

You know, honestly, do I need this much crazy in my life? And I can't help but admit that him not really wanting to come back from Florida because he has 'nothing to do here' bothers me. He should want to come back to see Dd and I, if he were really invested in the relationship. That's what my sponsor says, at least, and I have to agree with her.

Sponsor also says that we are disengaging a little bit because of the upcoming move. That both of us are sad about it. And trying to avoid getting ourselves too hurt by it. I don't know what to think. I guess time will tell the tale. I don't have to make a decision today.

Go Away Twiggy, No One Wants You Here

Dear Twiggy,

Thanks for not taking a lunch at all. Now I can't go either. I appreciate it!!!!!!

About as much as I appreciate constipation, or that nasty feeling when you go to poop after you haven't been taking much liquid in.

For future reference, would it be too much to ask you to take your lunch AWAY from your desk, since you annoy HRH, Me? Thanks.

So Complicated...

The Mack called me today from sunny Orlando where he is currently vacationing and searching for a new job from. And doing nothing.

He sounded really sad. Apparently, he has noticed since 9/11 that people don't like folks who seem like they might be middle eastern. He reasons that this must be why he seems to offend people everywhere he goes and why it seems like he's being picked on.

Don't you hate it when someone you love is feeding themselves a line of crap? A line of crap which you know makes them victims and thus incapable of hope, because they can't change other people, they can only change themselves?

I realized something tonight. The reason the Mack travels so much, moves around so much, is that he's running from things. He handles his business life well, he's very good at that and pretty inspiring, in fact, but he is always looking for something to fix him. When nothing ever works, he's outta there. He can't figure out why he can never find the solution or why his solutions don't work. And why his plans don't work. He's running on self will alone and the feelings he's trying to avoid that stem from some things that happened to him, which I will not disclose, are only going to get worse.

I'm no expert on this, but I've been there and it pretty much sucks. It's isolating. You can never just be one of the crowd. You're always trying to 'self-improve' but in all the wrong ways. Reading all the self-help books. Trying a new workout regimen. Listening to the quack that tells you that you need to eat a certain way for your blood type and buy supplements. All the things that never amount to anything except money spent and time wasted and a great amount of isolation. A good bout of crying would do people a whole lot more good than many of these self-help books and programs. I feel sad for him....he can't cry. Seriously, he is that shut down.

It's not complicated. The problem is usually you. Which is great. Because then there's hope. Cause you can change yourself. You can't change anything else. It's when we start over-complicating it that we don't get anything done. I even wonder why I'm taking his inventory. I wonder what I'm trying to avoid. I think I'm alright though.

We talked about it some tonight. I didn't out and out tell him that he's the architect of his problems, he is not really ready to hear that yet, but we did talk about that anti depressants aren't going to fix it, that adderall won't fix it, and that he's got to go to counselling. He said he's going to go. We'll see if he actually does.

I don't feel that this means a whole lot for our relationship. What I mean by that is that, yes, he's got problems. That doesn't mean we're going to break up. But these are the things that lead up to addictions. A lot of alcoholics, pill poppers, and drug users didn't start their addictions till later in life, when the pain got too bad to deal with anymore and they needed a fix. So, he's got to do something. I can't fix him either.

Ah, Gift Cards

So my peeps love to give gift cards for the holidays. They're such sweet folk.

Seriously. I'm not being sarcastic. Why must you paint me with that brush? Cynic.

Moving on!

This year I really cleaned up at Christmas. I should really thank OA for turning me into a sweet, dependable employee. :o)

In recent days, I received a gift card to Borders and one to a swanky new-urbanist development called Village Pointe. Yes, with an e. I told you it was swanky. So when I first got these gift cards, my first thought was something like this. "Oh great. Like I'm going to waste $50.00 at Borders! And what the f*ck can I buy at Village Pointe?"

So I decided to offer my Borders card on www.swapagift.com. The Village Pointe one, I realized, may have some real value, as they have a Bed Bath and Beyond there as well as a BEST BUY and a World Market. I got some stuff for the house today at World Market. That was nice.

And now I am wondering what I should buy at Best Buy.

But whilst I was at World Market, I was torn. There are so many cute things there! So many useful things! I almost bought some new clutter. But I was disciplined and only purchased consumables -- sponges, olive oil, and a calendar. And a tea dipper thingy for the Mack, since I'm tired of cleaning up after his d*mn tea thingies. He better be grateful.

I feel like my house has a ton of clutter in it. Everywhere. Books I never read, teapots that I just look at, pictures in frames that I don't hang on the wall because I suck at hanging pictures. I'll actually be a little sad when my Martha Stewart decorating book sells and I no longer have its picture-hanging tips to refer to. Bummer. I was thinking of selling those picture frames, actually. There's also CDs I don't listen to, a CD player that I don't use much because I store my MP3s on my computer. I'm thinking of thinning out that herd too, and selling them on eBay. And then there's all the books that I never even unpacked, and the yarn stash. So much clutter!

And now that the Mack has convinced me to move to a better apartment in a more child-friendly complex, I am REALLY taking a look at this stuff. Because it will all have to go with me if I move. And what's this I see in the NY Times today? http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/01/health/01well.html?no_interstitial An article on how clutter f's up your health! I believe it!

I don't want to waste my gift cards. But I don't want more clutter. So what do I do with these stupid things? I can't buy clothes at Village Pointe; nothing will fit. I don't need to buy more books or music, that's for sure. So what is the right strategy to use with gift cards?

I want her to go to jail SO. BAD.

Britney Spears missed her FIFTH deposition appointment. I saw articles previous to this saying that if she misses another one, she might go to jail. God I hope so! That would be great. Maybe that would be rock bottom from her and she would start getting healthy. Jail can be a motivator, y'all.

How White People Take Their Vengeance...per the Mackistani

This is so funny. The Mack is in Florida right now and he's been calling me today for assistance here and there. So, he goes to rent this car at Payless Car Rental in Orlando and immediately after, he calls me up to tell me about his adventure.

Since the Mack's English is sometimes difficult to understand, I won't go into details, except to say that he ticked off the desk agent. Apparently, she was white.

He goes, "...and she was mad at me for giving her all this trouble and extra work."

So I say to him, "Well, what did she *say*?"

"She didn't say anything. You don't understand," he says as I sense another lecture on how things work in America. He loves telling me about what he's learned in his travels. "Black people and colored people are stupid. They yell at you and curse you to your face. White people are smart. They just screw up your LIFE. That's how they take their revenge...with a smile on their face!"

"I thought you were smart girl and that you knew this!" Yeah, he often forgets his articles.

"Well, honey, I don't go around making people angry left and right."

"Oh, ok."

Time for a New Career

But what shall it be?

Watching how the Mack runs his business life has been inspiring. When he gets an idea about something, he researches it, then he evaluates it - figuring out the 'secret' of it - then if it's still a good idea, he just does it.

This is probably the first relationship where I've been extremely upfront about how I am with money and about my financial situation. Granted, that's easier when you're not lying and being dishonest left and right and you're not doing freaky, possibly illegal things with money. So I'm really glad that I've changed.

And I'm really glad I can be that honest. I'm getting on a tangent now, but this is the first time that I've thought, well, I'm just going to show who I am in all my glory or lack thereof, and if he likes it, great. If not, I'll be ok.

Anyway, the Mack has been really great about where I am financially. I don't have much debt, relatively speaking, but what I do have is past due and I'm working to get rid of it. I haven't had any real ambition for a while now, but I feel my ambitions for success returning and I have to admit that Dedee is a large reason for that.

He has had great advice for how I can get out of debt, how to negotiate with bill collectors, and how I can simplify my life and achieve my very simple goals of obtaining an education and a house.

So I've been a secretary for about five years now. Just at ABC Nuts and Bolts, that is. I've been in administrative assistant work for longer than that. And I'm pretty tired of it. I need a job where I can be creative and I can talk to people. Where I can be passionate and use my people skills to their fullest advantage.

And I am leaning toward that job being sales.

Now, I have sold Mary Kay before. But at that time, I was in my addiction, and so it didn't go very well. Read: more wreckage. I was good at it, but I had no real confidence to acquire really good customers, and my personal life was a hot steaming mess.

At this time, I have a year of abstinence. I have a plan for how to get myself out of debt. I believe that I really can achieve my goals, as long I keep them simple. I'm paying my bills, not being crazy, brushing my teeth every day, and doing laundry occasionally too. Dedee is doing ok and I have some boundaries. I think I might be finally ready to do something and actually be successful at it.

I still have a lot of questions and I'm not sure what's going to happen, but I'm going to use this time while the Mack is in Florida and after his subsequent move to Chicago to figure out what I'm going to do.

The Mack really wants me to go get an associate's degree at least. I don't see how I can do *everything* that I want to do and get that at the same time. I know it's important, but I just don't know how doable it is right at this moment. I don't really need to know right now; I just need to keep moving forward.

A Clot it is Not

So I got this ginormous hematoma from the snowboarding fun on Sunday.

Remember how I said that it looked 'fun' and that I would probably try it again?

Well, no I fucking will not. I don't care if I have to whore out my being a parent in order to avoid it (as in, 'I'm a parent and it would be irresponsible for me to risk making my child an orphan by undertaking a 'very dangerous' sport').

So far, this damn adventure has cost me $100.00 that I didn't have to begin with. $20 for the doctor's office visit to see if my tailbone was broken (Dedee just learned a new word tonight, ie, "Don't run so fast, Mommy's coccyx hurts."), then $5.00 for the vicodin, and now $75.00 for the ER visit to make sure Mommy doesn't have a clot that might float up to her heart or brain and kill her. Plus three hours of ER time, about 30 minutes of which was spent actually doing things.

So what happened today is that I have this ginormous, ugly bruise on my left shin. No biggy right? It'll heal, right? Well, I was kneeling on my chair for some reason and something flippin BURST inside that damn thing. So you know that freaked me out, and I called up my doctor. And what do you think they said, "Get thee to an emergency room, for thy may have a clot, and we do not haveth a Doppler machine to check that shit out." I was like, "Are you kidding?"

So I was messaging Lashanda Williams and I go, 'Yeah they want me to go to the ER.'

'Why?'

'I might have a clot in my leg. But I'm not going yet, because I have a lunch date and expense reports to do. I sound crazy don't I?'

'Yes.'

'Ok.'

So, I ended up going to the ER. My blood contained elevated levels of the byproducts of clots. Which, the doctor explained, could have resulted from the multiple harmless clots in my leg, or and he closed the door for this one, my 'menstrual period'. LOL. Dude practically whispered 'menstrual period' like it's a crazy alien phenomenon or a position in the kama sutra. lol.

Anyway, all that time in the ER was productive, I GUESS. I don't have a clot. Whoopee.

'Enchanted' Aftermath

So my little blossom and I went to see 'Enchanted' tonight. Great movie. Worked for kids too. Dedee loved it.

After we see movies, Dedee is always a little over-excited. One time, we were at a theater and my little 80 pound blossom collapsed the landing gear. This was after 'The Golden Compass,' which, by the way, is frickin eye candy. The police officer there thought he was going to solve this problem tout de suite. Yeah, whatever, knight in shining Kevlar. Ye have met thy match.

Anyway, he couldn't fix it. I fixed it though.

So, moving on, tonight after the movie, Dedee decided to run around the parking lot. She wasn't watching for cars very well and with my bruised tailbone, I couldn't chase her, but I did my best and we made it to the car without any broken bones.

However, little Dedee wanted to take control of the situation and didn't feel like getting in. I got in the car and tried to get her with something like five requests. No dice. She was out there taunting me. Daring me to control her. 'Hey gimp, you can't control the seven year old!!!!'

So I locked all the doors but the one that I wished her to use and proceeded to turn up the music and start dancing in my seat and looking like I was having the time of my life. LOL. Worked like a charm!

But then of course she didn't want to buckle up. One warning about the kid police was all it took.

I'm really getting good at this. Mack and I were just joking the other day about how I better heal up soon, before Dedee takes over the world and starts bombing other countries while I'm out on the corner selling flowers. He was soooo right!

Dedee, Mommy's only 31 and she ain't a gimp. I'll be healed in about five days and your reign of terror will be over, biatch!!!!

Christmas Eve 2007

Christmas Eve was frickin awesome. I will really cherish this memory forever. I have decided to start a new tagged section of my blog, called Awesome Freakin Memories. This will be the inaugural post.

I had to fight some depression on Christmas Eve as the Mackistani was gleefully planning to leave for Florida on 12/26 to play professional tennis for a little while until he's forced to find employment again. But I did manage to fight it off.

And so, I picked up my little blossom from school on Christmas Eve, and we were off to our apartment. Having arrived there, we proceeded to eat something for dinner, but I don't remember what. Dedee wasn't too off her rocker, having spent the whole day at Behave'n having her behavior corrected. :)

After dinner, it was time to find something to do besides watch TV. So, I thought, what should we do? Well, first we wrapped the snowflake ornament that Dedee painted for her *real* Mommy. I tried to teach her something about wrapping stuff. We did a good job. Dedee wrote on the gift tag. To 'Momy' from 'Dedee'. LOL. Yes, she used her new nick. hehehehehehe.

Next up, trying to pass some more time, I thought, hmm, what should we do? Well, Dedee is only seven, so she is still innocent. I love answering her questions about Santa. I have an answer for every question.

'How will Santa get into our apartment?'

• A: I will leave the patio door unlocked. The reindeer will hang out on the roof.
  

'How will Santa know where I am?'

• A: Well, you sent him a letter, right? And didn't we just see him at that party last Saturday?

I forget what else she asked. I should have started this chain of posts long ago. Because she says innocent stuff like this every day!

Anyway, so we decided to track Santa on NORAD's site. Awesome! She loved it and believed every word.

Then we tried to watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer on YouTube and also Frosty the Snowman. That went well also.

Then it was time for bed and Dedee was tempted to be naughty, but I reminded her that Santa is stillllll watching. Worked like a charm. Anti-psychotics and melatonin taken, Dedee curled right up for bed. And stayed put.

It's Dedee, Bitch

So my little blossom, no, not an onion blossom, but a flower blossom....has decided most decidedly that she wishes to be called none other than Dedee. And she picked the spelling, so don't blame me.

Now I know I'm not supposed to be spiteful, I'm supposed to be a little angel, a 12 stepping, serene angel, whose serenity nobody can freak with. Gonna try and keep it G rated so that if I decide to de-privatize this blog, I won't look like a big rear opening from which waste is escaping when it's not supposed to be. :)

So anyway, I know I'm supposed to be a little 12 stepping serene angel person, but I'm not, I'm a bitch sometimes, just like anyone else. :) And so, I can't help it but get a slightly warm and fuzzy feeling in the cockles of my little black heart when my sister gets a wee bit irritated that Dedee has chosen this name, and that she was most certainly encouraged in this choice by her ex foster parents, whom my sister despises. Why she despises them, I know not, as they were an awesome family for Dedee.

Oh, probably because she has lost the biggest fight of her life, that of trying to keep her child. And her self-worth is in the shitter. Oh dang it, Compassion and Maturity, go back to your corners, no one wants your boring asses around here!