ZoomZoomZoom

Yay!!! No more POS car he*l!!!

I get my new(er) car on Wednesday, if all goes well. Typically, though, if I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all, so I'm not holding my breath. It's a '98 Honda Accord. :o) I'm so excited.

My new(er) car is four years younger than the POS and it's my first import car. I have long since tired of Fords. I think I started getting tired of them when my exhusband vehemently INSISTED that we had to buy Fords because they were easier to work on. I also heard stuff like, "Our FAMILY has always bought Fords. We're a Ford family." And then his mom and dad bought a Buick Century.

My parents also drive one of these jewels. Yippy skippy. Theirs is considerably more beat up, as my father wrecked it a couple times and so did my mom. They pay through the nose for the car every month…around $350.00. I distinctly remember them coming close to financial asfixiation under the weight of this car payment so often that I encouraged them to file for bankruptcy and get rid of the thing as soon as possible. That entreaty fell on deaf ears and they are still suffering along with that POS, which, every now and again, despite being an '03, needs hella expensive repairs.

Yes. I know. Delighting in the misery of others is wrong on so many levels. I'll stop now…I guess.

A Freefall into the POS Pit

So my car is not the fanciest, newest, or most well-kept one in the world.

Actually, the interior resmbles a gerbil cage.

I keep it clean, but how good can it look with exposed wiring, upholstery with miscellaneous stains, a Plexiglass window and ginormous cracks across the windshield? Answer: not that great.

But it ran like a top. The engine was fab. And then the car stereo was stolen and I could now hear the sorry state of affairs of the brakes.

Grinding...endless grinding. Not in a good way. The brakes even grind when I'm not touching them. The brake pedal travels so far that it actually will start coming back toward you.

Yeah...I'm not taking D anywhere in that thing. Plus the auto mirrors don't work, nor does the AC, nor do the auto-seatbelts, nor does the hatchback. It's got problems up the ying yang.

So I was dead set on getting a newer car. I found what looks like a great deal...a 98 Honda Accord. Much better. Now I won't feel so freaky parking my car between the Mercedes and Jags when I have garage parking. Not good timing for this to happen, financially speaking, but it had to happen sooner or later. When IS good timing financially for you to be backed into a corner and have to buy a different car?

But then my friend Joel pops off with, "Oh, well just pay for the parts for the wagon, and I'll fix it for free." I was like, "Awesome." But that sorta throws off my plans to just buy a new car and ditch this one. And there ARE all the other problems. If I keep this car, I am GUARANTEED to have at least another $300 in repairs for a car that still won't be completely safe and isn't guaranteed to not break down. No car is, I guess, but odds of the 98 Accord breaking down are dramatically lower than my present POS.

I'm confused about what to do. My higher power is exhorting me to at least price out the parts and think hard about whether I should do this for certain. I guess I'll be doing some writing tomorrow to make sure I'm really considering all the options.

Ugh. I hate behaving like some kind of adult or something.

Your Lifestyle Change is not My Lifestyle Change

Sometimes being friends with two women who've had gastric bypass surgery is a pain in the butt.

One of them understands eating disorders and the other one is ignorant about it.

She who is ignorant is a pain in the butt. I think what's painful about it is that her motivations and thinking on the subject are so shallow. Yet she's thin and happy, as far as I can tell, so who am I to diss her about it?

This is a post that's been brewing for a long time. The way of thinking about weight and my body that I embrace as a member of OA is one that is much more holistic and well-rounded than that which you'd find at the doctor's office.

Most people who want to embrace a 'lifestyle change' are talking about primarily two things, and those two things are eating more healthfully and exercising more. And being hyper vigilant about monitoring your weight, to the point of obsession and guilt.

In OA, the lifestyle change that we are encouraged to seek includes eating more healthfully and exercising more, but not in the way that a diet does.

In OA, we learn to love ourselves through our thoughts, actions, and words. This, then, will lead to recovery from all three facets of our disease: physical, emotional, and spiritual. We will have a spiritual experience that will cause us to see, feel, and do as we never have before. We learn that we do the next right action and we leave the overall outcome to our higher power. That is, we learn that if we keep doing the right things, if we stop letting our disease rule over our lives, then we need not be concerned with the outcome. The outcome will take care of itself.

Many of us who are compulsive overeaters become easily overwhelmed by thinking of the outcome too much. We become so overwhelmed that we lose track of what actually needs to be done. Once we lose track of what we should be doing, then we start feeling crushing guilt. And what do we use to assuage our feelings of crushing guilt? Food, of course…our drug of choice.

We learn that weight is an outcome and we're not in charge of outcomes. We are in charge of following our Higher Power's instructions, and that means that we start listening for and to that little voice inside us that encourages us to not eat in a harmful way, to enjoy the beauty around us by walking more or to love ourselves by doing something good for ourselves. That little voice inside each and every one of us encourages us to do many things that are healthy for us. It discourages us from doing things that are not good for us.

That higher power often comes from within. Call it God, call it Buddha or Allah or call it intuition, a conscience...call it whatever you want. Ascribe it to whatever source you want. It matters not what that voice is or where it hails from…it matters that we distance ourselves from disease and we start listening to that voice. It matters that we start being more gentle with ourselves. It matters that we start doing good things for ourselves out of love, not crushing guilt.

OA is about making a lifestyle change that is sustainable, and one that, in fact, sustains itself. It sustains itself because the lifestyle change is not about deprivation or punishment…it is about love. It is about learning to live differently, in every shade of meaning that the word 'live' entails.

Recovery means so much more than losing weight. It means being nice to yourself -- washing your clothes, brushing your teeth, cooking your food, throwing things out that drive you crazy, that you don’t love, having a home that you love, paying your bills, throwing out clothes that don't fit, creating a simpler life that you can live with and love. It means having friends who care about you, healthy relationships with all the people in your life, getting enough sleep, going out and enjoying the time you have on this earth in healthy ways, learning to love yourself enough not to worry about embarrassment that you might feel because you're fat and you're going down those slides anyway. It means forgetting yourself and letting the world revolve around someone else.

But, while you're on the subject of yourself, it means having realistic expectations of yourself, not having expectations that espouse perfection and guilt. It means realizing that you're always a work in progress, and that that progress may take a while, but then you've got a while to get it done anyway.

Call it a euphemism, call it semantics, whatever. It works. It may take longer than a crash diet or surgery or a regular diet. It may take longer than punishing workouts at the gym. But recovery's effects also last longer than the effects of those temporary fixes that only address the symptom and not the cancer that's eating away inside you.

Sometimes it's hard to remember that it doesn't matter if other people don't understand the full nature of what I'm trying to accomplish in my life through OA. It's hard sometimes to answer their concerned questions about what my weight loss goal is, etc. It's hard to know that they don't understand and to know that no matter what I may try to tell them, it all sounds like an excuse for not going on a diet and trying like crazy to just lose that d*mn weight.

In any case, I'm going to keep on working on my lifestyle change, and I'm not going to worry that some of my friends just don't get it. They will get it when they see the more finished product.

Guilty Consciences, Resentment, and Jealousy at Work

Guess who made a pointed effort to make sure that I know that one of my Veeps will be out tomorrow so that I can park in their space?

Could it be…Supervisor?

Oh and in other news, we received our annual raises. My 1% really motivates me to work hard for the company. Do you know that I got a 3% raise when I was thinner but showing up to work less often and less timely? And doing less work? I'm not kidding. Gotta love that Napoleon.

At first I didn't think that such a paltry raise would bother me. However, it does. It shouldn't though. Because what am I doing right now? Writing a post in my blog. And what have I spent a lot of time doing today? Surfing the internet. I've also gotten a lot of work done, but I know that I'm not working as hard as I could.

Maybe next year, after a year of consistent good performance, I'll get 1.5%. However, if I'm thinner by then, I may be lucky enough to get 3%.

Some rail thin office worker just walked by saying that she's on a diet so she can wear a bathing suit. Blech. The marketing assistant is rail thin too. Her clothes never look right on her. She's rail thin and very tall. Yet she insists on wearing those hip hugger pants that barely come up over her family jewels. She would look so much better if she wore a normal waistline.

Yes, I'll cop to jealousy. I'm sure it's not all vomit and roses for them; there's probably a lot of purging via gym going on too. :o)

A New Era

So I've noticed lately that I've been listening to that little voice more often.

No. Not the one that urges me to go and set my sister's care on fire.

This would be the one that gently encourages me to do things like brush my teeth, wash my clothes, do the laundry, do the dishes, lock up the car, take care of myself, yada, yada, yada.

Anyway, I have also noticed that I am becoming more open to that little voice, the little nudges that I get from my higher power, and the instances when my higher power speaks through other people.

So this is kind of a new era in my life. I am tired of how life has gone heretofore, and so now I am trying to change. Seriously.

One of things that kinda came to me through someone else was my guilt at the deceit over the Filching Fridges. I'm not very comfortable with deceit at all. Probably because I don't like feeling guilty. But nonetheless, it's been hard to let go of at least doing two little trips to the Filching Fridges everyday and getting a little something-something outta their cold depths.

Well, I was talking about it with a friend on Friday night…we were talking (actually, she was talking) about how everyone in Program has stolen at one time or another for one reason or another to some degree. That's true. And I was talking about the filching fridges. She said that I obviously felt bad about it. I said I didn't feel very bad about it. She said that if that were true, I wouldn't have mentioned it. I said she was right.

And today I have st ayed away from the filching fridges.

But my resolve is faltering a little bit now, because I stayed up until about 2AM reading a Star Wars book (Dark Nest III: *enter subtitle here*). I don't remember the whole title. There were lots of bugs and Luke finally becomes aware of just exactly how his mother died. It's really sad. What's even sadder is that the author just didn't take the time to really develop that moment. It just flashes by. I know that wasn't the focus of this book's plot, but still, peeps, that's his MOM. You know what I mean?

Anyway, I will probably break my resolve a little and get some caffeine out of the filching fridge. Because I am going to fall asleep if I don't get something going on here.

Positive Quotes

Right actions in the future are the best apologies for wrong ones in the past.

RE: Not a good morning so far

-----Original Message-----
From: Sponsor
Sent: Wednesday, July 05, 2006 9:10 AM
To: Secretary
Subject: Re: Not a good morning so far

Write a 20 item gratitude list, you will feel better. Bummer about the
radio though. OJ is not recreational (for now)! Remember, if you abuse
it, you may lose it. Chin up! Sponsor

>>> "Secretary" 7/5/2006 9:06 AM >>>

Subject: Not a good morning so far

1. I had to come to work.
2. My car got broken into and the radio was stolen. I strongly wish to
get a different car RIGHT NOW. However, that is not a possibility, so I
will just have to grin and bear it.
3. My supervisor parked in the spot where I should have been able to
park, then told me there was no parking in the garage when I asked her.

Question: is orange juice considered recreational sugar?

Vacation is Over; phuck.

I don't wanna go back. Now I'm going to stomp my foot until the foot wears out and there's just a stump left.

 

Oh wait, can't do that, because then I couldn't drive.

 

So I went in to work because I wanted to rent a movie tonight, and I had some free rental coupons at Blockbuster.com and my printer's on the fritz.

 

I stop in at work, bring up my email, and I've already got like five fucking assignments that those bastards sent me Friday fucking afternoon! Jesus, can't I get a fucking break?

 

I guess, in another way of thinking, that's job security.

 

Well, I don't care. I just know that I only have to get through eight hours tomorrow, maybe I can finagle an early departure because so many folks will be on vacation tomorrow, and then I'm free for ONE more day. :o)

Salads Aren't Very Filling

...unless they're filled with a bunch of other shit which turns what was formerly a salad into a buffet that just happens to have a whole lotta lettuce going on, fits onto one plate only, and needs salad dressing.

 

I know this because I lived on salad and chicken for something like a year or so. And you wouldn't believe how easy it is to have dinner at home instead of buying it at some grease pit when the lettuce and the chicken are both in the fridge, ready to go after you just add some salad dressing.

 

Unfortunately, two hours after you eat that, even if you eat a whole fuckin head of romaine lettuce, you're going to be hungry again. Because that shit is made out of 90% water, friends.

 

I rediscovered this tonight when I decided to have an easy dinner of salad and chicken with some sliced almonds and pine nuts thrown in.

 

You know what, though? It occurs to me that I had this dinner at 6pm, and it was in fact an entire four hours before my tummy rumbled. Alright, but I'm not taking down the rant.

Behold the Freckles

Yep, they're there. They were just hiding out, waiting for a 100 degree day and a pool before they'd come out. Lo and behold, they made their appearance today. They're even on my eyelids. Geeez.

I highly recommend that you read this book. If I had to characterize this book, The Good Journey, I would call it a historical romance.

from Amazon.com:
After only three days of courtship, the notoriously difficult Louisville belle marries the autocratic older general (General Henry Atkinson) and for the next 16 years they make their home at the unpromising outpost of Jefferson Barracks, Mo., where he is stationed to enforce federal Indian regulations.

These two subjects are indeed related. General Henry Atkinson built Fort Atkinson, a military installation that huge for its day. It was squarish at something like 400 feet and some change on each side, with the powder magazine in the middle of the fort. Ft. Atkinson was an installation built primarily to promote peace and trade with the natives of the region. It was so cool to stand on the actual ground that so many historical figures stood on. Mary Bulitt herself did not live there at any time, but it was just altogether cool to imagine that her husband was once there. Is this making any damn sense?

I'm a little geeky, I guess. I like history. :)

So I wrote that I cut my hair off. Witness the local Great Clips where I had my hair cut off.

Now I have the same haircut as many soccer moms, I believe. The thing about soccer moms is that many of them seem to be fairly healthy, if not the picture of health, while I am far from.

Now check out the pile of hair on the floor. Yeah, that came from me. No, I don't have black hair. It's dark brown.

Ok, that may be semantics at work.

At first, after trying to take many self portraits with the new 'do, I concluded that the new 'do makes my face look fatter.

But after thinking about that a bit, I realize that neither haircut detracts from or enhances how fat my face looks. My face just looks fat because, right now, it is.

Now, dear reader, you are probably going to gasp at this little revelation. My face looks friendlier while fat. Hey, my sponsor said that every time I say something negative about myself, I have to say something positive. And it's got to be honest. And the honest truth is that my face may look less beautiful with some extra meat on it, well, not meat, but fat...anyway...it looks friendlier. :)

Personally, I'd rather look lean and mean, literally, but I'll settle for this...for now.

The Crazy Sandbox

Darling Niki can attest that I'm pretty crazy. But I'm not nearly as crazy as I used to be.

 

For one thing, I don't play in the Crazy Sandbox as much as I used to.

 

Now, crazy looks crazy. So when Mr. Wrong doesn't show up here, and then I block most possible avenues of communication, neglecting one, but not on purpose, and he slips one through and sends me a crazy message, I can actually see that it's a crazy headgame that he's trying to play.

 

So I can respond to it, and then finish blocking him, and then let it be.

 

It used to be that I would continue to play with him in the crazy sandbox. I'd continue to play the headgames, and I'd let him mess with me, and obsess about it for hours and hours.

 

My sister's doing some crazy shit like that too. She told a lie about me to the workers on her case, then she emailed me today, and she told me and a bunch of other folks that she'd been cleared of the most recent abuse allegations. I just wrote her back and said, why are you speaking to me? you lied about me to those people.

 

And though I was itching to really tell her off, I held it in, and then stepped out of the Crazy Sandbox. I really shouldn't have stepped in at all, but you know going from crazy to sane is a process, people.

 

Oh and I did in fact cut my hair off yesterday. Pictures will be posted later, but they'll only be pictures of the large pile of my hair on the floor, since I don't want to show my face :) .

 

I'm nervous right now that I fucked up one of my director's expenses, because now he's got this little nasty gram about how his corporate Amex has been suspended. I'm like, ok what's up with that? I haven't had any receipts from him for a while and his Amex was clean as a whistle, as far as I could tell. So now I'm nervous, thinking that maybe I fucked up.

 

I like posting from home. This way I can cuss, no asterisks required. :o)

 

Vacation...

...must not be too exciting, seeing that I have time to post in my blog about it.

 

I wandered out to Schramm state park yesterday. That was fun, I guess. I realized today that our class visited that park when I was in 5th grade. I learned about the Grena state hatchery, which was shut down in the 40's or something. I visited the hatchery house, where they have museum displays inside what used to be concrete fish tanks. I learned that there are two types of nets, active and passive. Fishing is a freaky sport, but Niece really wants to learn, so I am hoping to be able to take her somewhere and we can learn together. How we'll clean whatever fish we catch, I have no idea, because there's no way in hell I'm doing it. Maybe we could just throw em back.

 

Anyway, I am thinking about cutting my hair shorter. Maybe a chin length bob. I'm tired of long hair. But I'm old enough to know that desires to drastically change one's hair are usually born of something other than being tired of one's current style. For me, I think I'm finally resigned to not dating for a year, so what do I need long hair for?

 

I finally completely blocked Mr. Wrong. He was supposed to show up here on Monday, and why I believed in that, I have no idea. Probably because I'm an addict who loves living in a fantasy world because she's decided her existing life is way too mundane and she doesn't want to deal with her very *real* problems. It's so much easier to nurse a little fantasy, isn't it? I'm so done with that chapter of my life and I've wasted so much time on it. The premise of the whole thing is so crazy I can't even fully describe it.

 

Well, I'm off to tend to real life now, folks. See ya later. :)

The Porno Director

 

Doing expenses can be so much fun. You can figure out a lot about people by how they behave on business trips.

 

I'm on vacation as of midnight tonight, but I had to go in earlier and finish up my outstanding expense reports so that my directors and VPs didn't get nastygrams. They'd then forward these nastygrams to me and testily demand to know why the hell they're getting said nastygrams, even though they turned in their expense reports promptly to me.

 

Of course, the answer to that question is always one thing only -- I'm a huge procrastinator and the fucking phone's always ringing off the fucking hook with Geico callers and others who frequently fat finger whatever fucking number they're trying to dial. And let's not forget the widget callers. This wouldn't be a big deal for me, except that Twiggy fucking walks away from her desk whenever she wants and says nary a word to me about it. I miss the Temp so much!

 

So, anyway, I put off doing these expense reports as long as possible this weekend, and after spending the day with Niece, I head in to the office at about 9:15 PM and start working on the things.

 

I'm doing expense report number four and come across an unknown item charged to a hotel room for a director whom we'll call Arby. He's a really nice guy; actually one of my favorite directors. Not being able to figure out what this thing is that's charged to his hotel room, I check his other receipts and, sure enough, it ain't a meal, because he had lunch, dinner, and breakfast at other establishments in the city.

 

I, of course, know what this charge is.

 

It's porn.

 

No doubt about it, and here's why. This guy always orders movies while he's in his hotel room. The company won't pay for them, of course. Normally, he'll write right on the hotel bill that the charge is a movie. So I don't have to call the hotel and find out what the hell cost $35.00.

 

On his last trip, he forgot to notate that he had ordered a movie, so I had to call the hotel.

 

"Hi, my name is Secretary and one of the guys I support stayed at your hotel on suchandsuch dates, and I need to know what this extra charge is on the folio."

 

"Ok, great, just give me suchandsuch information and I'll look it up."

 

I give the information.

 

"Alrighty, here we go, got the folio. I see the amount and it's for, oh. Ummm. It's ahhhh....*cough*, uhhhhh....," he stammers.

 

"Well what is it? Is it a movie?"

 

"Ummm, yeah, it's a movie..." and he's going to go on. I'm sensing that this might be a bit embarrassing...for us both. So I cut him off.

 

"Great, that's all I need to know."

 

Big sigh. "Alrighty, great, is there anything else I can help you with?" He sounds relieved that I didn't make him say it.

 

"Nope, I'm good."

 

And of course I know exactly why that dude was so embarrassed. Because Arby ordered a movie with a title akin to Naughty Nurses in Nineveh or something.

 

I don't fault him for it. Of course not. He's human, as are we all. Even women think about sex all the time, just not quite as much as guys. You're a businessman stuck in some city overnight with virtually nothing to do, and you can't go around visiting the cool stuff because you're not a tourist, and you're not going to go hang out in bars, because you've become a family man now, so what else are you gonna do? Order Narnia with that little remote? I don't think so dude.

So the Petition's Been Filed...

What petition is that, you say?

 

The petition to terminate my sister's rights to her child, my one and only niece.

 

I found this out through the foster mom and I ain't saying a word to my sister. Actually, my relationship with my sister is non-existent right now. Same goes for my mom. Not a real big loss, actually. Sure, I'm not excited about it, but life goes on. Those people make me want to binge, big time. Even my dad does, even though he's the only member of my family who seems to love me unconditionally.

 

But regardless of who's pissed at me and who isn't, I'm still sad that it's come to this, whether my sister deserves it or not. Can you imagine how much it'll hurt her if her rights are terminated? She would be devastated if that happens. Frankly, if her rights were term'd, I'd be surprised if she did NOT try to commit suicide. This is not something that I'd want to see happen, not by any means. I love my sister. She just didn't take this seriously enough soon enough. And now it's too late.

 

And it freaks me out because that means that I may soon be a mother. My life might change drastically pretty soon.

 

Well, I don't have to figure it all out right now. I can just let it lay for now, I guess. There's no sense getting all riled up about something that hasn't happened yet and may not happen at all.

 

Blech.

Keith Urban is my New Favorite Country Star

 

Sorry Dixie Chicks.

 

I am really enjoying Keith Urban's music. I just got his CD, Be Here, and even though I think that's probably a title that's way too contrived, I can dig almost every song on this CD. The way he sings is soooooo soulful.

 

Now that you've read about it, head over to A Socialite's Life (www.socialitelife.com) and check out what this former crack and booze addict USED to look like before he got that freaky hairdo he's got now... http://www.socialitelife.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/5814

 

Hopefully that trackback link for Socialite's Life works. The last time I tried to use on, it was a no-go.

 

Man, the hair isn't toooooooo bad, but I think the teeth are a problem. Nonetheless, he's a great singer and a great songwriter and I have to respect that. It appears possible that he might be a good human too, but you can never really declare that about someone that you don't actually know. You can just guess.

You Are 24% Sociopath

From time to time, you may be a bit troubled and a bit too charming for your own good. It's likely that you're not a sociopath... just quite smart and a bit out of the mainstream!

Are You A Sociopath?

Of Booze-Addled, Company-Paid-For Limo Rides

So we had the College World Series in town, right? I hate the College World Series. Yes, it's a great tourist event, yippy skippy.

But it litters South Omaha all up. I also hate the sun, and Rosenblatt is soaked in sun when the Series is here. I'm surprised more people don't come away from that event with sunburns. I mean, what I'm saying is that I'm surprised that the entire sales and marketing staff doesn't come back to work imbued with a neon pink skin tone at the end of the dang thing. We always make a big 'do out of the event. We have a tent and valet parking for our guests, and we just pull out all the stops.

Well, a certain client was coming in for a visit last week, and they *really* wanted to impress this client. So I had to get a limo for them. No problem, no big deal. The 8 passenger limo wasn't good enough though. They needed a 12 passenger limo. So I call up the limo service, the same one with that garish stretch Hummer, and order up a 12 passenger limo. Great. That was last week.

So the VP that wanted the limo and whatnot comes up here and I, wanting to know how my reservation went and whatnot, making sure the limo company did as I told them to, asked how it went.

"Oh, you know how it went!" He sounds derisive.

"No, I don't, I swear!"

"Oh. Well, we ended up stuck at Taco Bell at 1am."

Typical sales and marketing story. Always soaked in liquor. Especially for this particular product line. The people who use this particular line are rather rough and tumble (read: entrepreneurial). That is, they know how to have a good time. The liquor flows at every convention these people go to. So of course, I know this is going to be a good story. After laughing a little bit, I ask for more detail.

"Well, the limo couldn't make the turn in the drive through and ended up beached on the curb. So we got every drunk in Omaha lined up behind us, yelling at us to get the f*ck out of the way."

"Oh Lord."

"Yeah. Some drunk finally gets out of his car and goes, 'Dude, get the spare tire and put it under the tire, and then you'll roll right over it and everything'll be golden.' But then SVP soandso gets out and grabs a landscaping block, and that works, then we drove right over the landscaping. So then SVP and me are sitting there at 1:30 in the morning, stomping and kicking the grass back into place." Lol I love their stories. You should hear them go on and on at Christmas parties about their clients and things that happen at conventions and whatnot. "But you know, that's the kind of stuff that really bonds with clients and gets you business. It really does."

Vacation Starts Monday

But I stayed up too late last night, am exhausted, and wish that it started today.

I didn't go to meeting last night. I just decided to stay home and enjoy some solitude.

I am going to check out an apartment on Saturday. Just when I had decided I was not going to move, an apartment came up that's exactly what I want. The only thing that I'm not sure about is the location. It's much farther south than where I currently live.

The place that I really want to live at won't accept people with bankruptcies within the last 2 years. I'm beginning to think that I should just wait until next April and move to the place that I really want to live at, which has a Wal-Mart right next to it and is much closer to my workplace. Also the elementary school is right across the street. And there's a Wal-Mart within walking distance. Laundry in the apartment, all those amenities. It's just a much better place than the one that's so far south that I'd end up with twang in my voice after a year.

Now I feel bad. This woman probably thinks she's got someone all lined up to take over her lease on her apartment. Shucks.

My writing would be a lot better if I had more sleep today lol. I'm so tired.